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Janine Farzin's avatar

Manners

(From children's poetry book Sad Underwear by Judith Viorst)

Telling a lie is called wrong.

Telling the truth is called right.

Except when telling the truth is called bad manners

and telling a lie is called polite.

Whenever my kids question what I am doing in these situations, I just recite this poem. Got it. Good.

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Tara's avatar

Oh that’s good!

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A. L. Bork, DVM's avatar

I like this - I may have to borrow it 😉

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

One more story to add that is not mine but well worth the share ! A rebel WITH a cause here in the states is The Vermont water official who just resigned over ‘fluoridation confusion’, he had been knowingly reducing the fluoride in the water, well below the state guidelines, for more than a decade. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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Tara's avatar

I saw that! I think that man deserves a medal!

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Alison's avatar

It's so fun for me to see this story run far and wide and being shared by many. This is my small town who just lost a great employee. We have well water so this didn't really affect me but it was fascinating to see how it played out locally and now nationally. So many supporters of him keeping quiet at first while the complainers kept their voices strong.

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

What a small small world. Thanks for responding. I’m sorry you lost a man

of moral conviction working in your small town. Hoping those who benefited from his courage make their voices heard.

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Tara's avatar

Hey, you're two steps away from being famous! Good for him! These are the little rebellions that keep us human.

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

I couldn’t think of the last time that I intentionally rebelled until I read through these comments. So much of just “normal life” for me these days is apparently rebellious. Hooray!

I think my biggest rebellion in the last few years was quitting the Big Corporate career, seeing the myth of success for what it was, and staying home to further my gardening and herb-ing for my family, and homeschooling my children.

Almost everyone I knew from my old life of nice clothes and airline miles is pretty baffled when they ask what I’m up to and it isn’t some next long-hours high-stakes position, but instead is things like fermenting green beans and driving country roads for raw milk and seeing what the kids get up to with mud and stones and wide open skies.

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Tara's avatar

The stuff of dreams. I just love this! And yes, that's why I wanted to put this out there. All of these little bits of living a life incongruent with what we're sold as the way a life should be is the very stuff that brings us connection and joy. We have to be rebellious to carve that out for ourselves. It's mandatory in a world that wants to confine and control. xo

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Tara's avatar

It's funny that wanting to live a life, close to the ground, is considered rebellious in some way, but I suppose to some it is. To me, it's salvation, pure and simple. I cannot accept the version of life that sees me as a consumer. The shiny things our culture holds up as worth trading my autonomy for just aren't worth it. I'm so glad you found your place, Alli. xo

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

Meeeeeeeee, too. :)

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Rose's avatar

This is what I felt, until I read comments. Then my mind started going through the ways I raise my children: sleep with them, let babies sleep on their stomachs, feed them honey when they're just 360 days old, buy raw "pet" milk, let them drink from the hose (and they've definitely gone facedown to drink from mud puddles), and the list could go on and on. Apparently just having no fear in how you raise your children puts you at odds with our crazy new world.

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Tara's avatar

Haha, let them have honey at 360 days old! That's so good, Rose. Your babes are so blessed to have such a wonderful mama.

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

You just reminded me of even more “rebellion” in my life. Lots of hoses and high trees, sharp knives and other such “dangers” over here. Thank you.

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

Love this. Bravo !

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Oct 27, 2022
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Alli Bockmon's avatar

Or maybe it is that you are highly motivated, simply FOR something else 💞

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The Roost & Rabbitry's avatar

My county only allows a single hen for my lot size, no roosters and definitely no butchering of said animals. Currently, I have 22 chickens total, 11 of which are Cornish cross set to process in a few weeks. The other 11 are a mixture of adults hens with various aged chicks and pullets, definitely some roos in the mix. I have enough land to accommodate all of them to free-range. I'll forever keep up this civil disobedience.

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Tara's avatar

Yes! So you should! Love it!

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Breanna's avatar

My daughter is not vaccinated, for anything. It’s not something I share often, because of the intense judgement, but this seems like a safe place (my first time posting here!). All the ‘professionals’ told me how bad of a Mom I was for it, but in a SHOCKING outcome (I hope you can sense my sarcasm), my daughter is a healthy and thriving 6 year old!

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Tara's avatar

I’m honoured you shared that here as your first post! And I will add to your incredibly rare and unbelievable case study of one, my three daughters who were also not vaccinated and grew up in the world without dying! A miracle if ever there was one 😁

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Julieanne's avatar

None of my children are vaccinated either, and they are healthy. When the school or sport questions me I just sign that yes I am aware my child might die 🙄. I do not care. I didn’t want to take the risk

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Tracie Chavonne's avatar

Not sure I do anything illegal (that I can share 😜) but I have small things that I do for my own rebellious comfort.

I never use the bar on the grocery store conveyor belt that separates my items from the people around me during check out. I’m not sure when this became normal or expected. People seem to think visual and verbal identification of my grocery items is weird now 🤔

When I go to the doctor’s office, I take my time to read the entire privacy policy before signing anything. Ironically enough and most of the time, I am given the form that states something along the lines of “I have received and read the privacy policy” before receiving and reading the policy. The person handing me the form upon seeing I don’t immediately sign it says, “that’s just saying you received the privacy policy” and I respond, “but I haven’t, so why would I sign something saying I did?” They look at me as I I have broken something. They then scurry to find a policy to give me. Then they expect me to sign right away but I just sit there and read it. I’ll even ask questions sometimes before I sign it. 😈

I refuse to go to websites that don’t allow me to reject targeting cookies. ✌🏾

I don’t use social media on this phone. When I tell people I don’t have “whatever app” on my phone, they look at me like I’m living under water. I do keep an old iPhone that has social media apps but nothing else on it. No contacts, no browser history, no email, nothing. I leave that phone on airplane mode at home and kept away until I’m in the mood for it. 📴

I don’t drink wine anymore (though I did have a glass in Paris). The modern day social drink ran its course with me some years ago. Actually, I don’t drink much alcohol at all. People get very questioning when you don’t drink and often times assume you have a drinking problem. 🍷

I refuse to sign over my image anymore. You’d be surprised how many company’s own the rights to photos of you in relation to their brand. Recently my apartment complex added this into the apartment lease. Why do they need photos of me as apart of living here? I didn’t sign the lease. 📷

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Tara's avatar

These are such excellent and useful small acts of autonomy, Tracie. I love them all. I don't drink alcohol either and find the same as you - people think I have a drinking problem when, really, it's just that I don't like how it makes me feel. I had 1/4 cup of wine last year and woke up in the middle of the night saturated in sweat. That's been about my only tell that I'm actually in menopause, or, at least, it was my one and only hot flash. I don't know how women that are in menopause drink wine. Oi vey.

So awesome that you stick to your guns and refuse these oversteps on our privacy. A good model for us all. :)

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Eboni ☀︎'s avatar

Tracie, I love the privacy policy one. I'm going to start doing that from now on. Who knows what these places slip in there without us knowing because we can't be bothered with reading the full policy. I try to do it with new websites I sign up for.

I, too, refuse to use a website that doesn't let me reject targeting cookies.

It's insane the looks and comments you get when you tell people you don't really drink or order a non-alcoholic drink at the bar. The automatic assumption that you have a drinking problem says a lot about society. I haaate the way alcohol makes me feel now. It's not fun - I'd much rather smoke a doobie 😁

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Megan's avatar

I like these personal guidelines and can relate. I think veering from most social constructs is necessary in our time. I rarely ever recieve questions about my 10+ years of sobriety, mostly people don't notice. What I notice though is how normal it is automatically assumed that everyone drinks (and far too much for grown adults, at that). It is toxic. Just one of those truths muffled by denial.

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Andrea Myets's avatar

I’m currently selling “live sheep” from my flock and then slaughtering and butchering for customers

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Tara's avatar

I hardly understand a way that small farmers that follow regulations made for big corporate farms can ever do things exactly within the lines and still survive. We're squeezed into other options. Good for you!

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Andrea Myets's avatar

We could easily send them off to a usda processor but you inspired us to follow our dream of home butchery! My sheep have the best possible life and death ❤️

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Tara's avatar

Well that just delights me to no end! Thank you, Andrea. :)

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Esther's avatar

I wish more people did this and just cut out the abattoir

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

If you live in a mitten, please contact me. I’d love to pay boarding for a sheep.

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Sheena Phelps's avatar

Oh so many things we do that go against the grain. While most things we do aren’t illegal, I feel like we are definitely considered fringe in comparison to our fellow citizens. a few off the top of my head...

We don’t “poke” our kids or go to scheduled checkups because why would I take my healthy children to a place where all the sick children are corralled? And despite popular belief here in America, you actually don’t need a Doctorate degree to weigh and measure children which is all that happens at “well checks” if they aren’t stabbing them with poison.

We consume all the raw dairy delights, while not illegal, it is certainly taboo and concerning to normie citizens. Nothing makes me roll my eyes into the back of my skull quite like a parent who questions the safety of my children consuming raw milk but is unquestioning about their child being on their 3-4th round of antibiotics for the year.

We homeschool and I allow my children to explore and play and don’t confine them to societies ideal of “good” or “obedient” children.

My kids rarely wear shoes (by their own choice), even in public places 😬

Most of mine relate to parenting I suppose because that’s the season I’m in with 2 young kiddos, but I’ll be a rule breaker and a normalcy defier the rest of my days. 🧡

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Tara's avatar

All hail the rule breakers! Imagine if one of our ancestors read over this list 100 years ago (not even). She would just shrug and ask, "Well, what else would you do?" That alone is enough for me. I don't believe we can raise robustly healthy children following the "guidelines" of the medical and "health" powers that be.

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

I recently learned that in New Zealand, it’s common for folks of all ages to go barefoot into stores 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe if we weren’t worried about how dirty/clean the floors were, this would just make sense to adults here in the states as well.

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Tara's avatar

And maybe we'd all be healthier.

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Kate Kavanaugh's avatar

This year, when we gave our dairy cow a year off, we drove across state lines to pick up raw milk from a friend, bringing it back to our home state. Better yet, we had traded for said milk so nary a dollar exchanged hands. So illicit. Funny enough, there are quite a few other things, none of which are fodder for the internets.... but for my 8th grade graduation, a teacher gifted me with a copy of Civil Disobedience and reported that I was one of the more challenging students to ever grace that campus. And so I carry on in that tradition!

Deeply appreciative of your plant pinching tip. 😘

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Tara's avatar

I’ve done the illegal milk run plenty of times and I gotta’ say it’s liberating isn’t it? To outlaw nutritious food is the best example I can think of to demonstrate that these laws have nothing to do with what’s ‘best for us’.

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

The more I read the more things come to mind.

I spoke last Fall at a school board meeting where my son attends - I let the room know I was an RN opposed to the ridiculous guidelines they were imposing on our kids and my voice shook when I spoke. people in the crowd yelled at me and in an online community page they talked of reporting me to the board of nursing for my irresponsible and dangerous stance.

My thyroid took a total hit over all the stress it caused me during my time of fighting the good fight, but I’m still glad I did it.

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Tara's avatar

Oh, Angela. What an incredible act of service and love for your son and a display of a woman of conviction. I deeply respect what you did, despite your fear and the reaction of others. Small people lash out in the face of courage, good people are inspired by it (even if they disagree). I'm so glad you are happy that you did it. I'm so moved that you did it as well. We need more people like you in this world. xo

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Esther's avatar

Brave woman

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Petra's avatar

Ha! A fellow plant pincher/propagator 😆 I say yes to that!

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Tara's avatar

Hello plant pincher pal. :)

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Petra's avatar

Peter Piper pinched a pretty pepper plant, lol!

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Tara's avatar

correction: "Petra Piper pinched a pretty pepper plant".

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Petra's avatar

🤪

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Eboni ☀︎'s avatar

Got any room for another plant pincher? This seems like a fun club to join 😄

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Tara's avatar

Heck, yeah!

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Leah D. H.'s avatar

I love this thread so much it brought me out of read-only mode. 🥰 I have a deep contrarian streak to my nature that has been there from the very beginning and I am always happier when I let the rebel hang out! My mother, bless her forever, nurtured it by bringing me and my brothers up half-wild, homeschooled, & unvaccinated. I’m now 35 and, shocker, not dead... healthier than most of my peers, generally. I lived for years in Denmark and ignored every single one of the health system’s summons for this-check and that-check for my “female health”. I work for cash wherever possible and pay in it too. I drink raw milk EVERY DAY. I refuse to own a TV. I’m the girl at the farmers market who asks for the “weird stuff”--organs, bones, off cuts. I stopped wearing masks before mandates lifted in my area (I’m currently in eastern PA and the madness of compliance and Covid anxiety in these east coast states drives me absolutely bonkers).

I am at odds both with conventional mainstream notions of femininity AND notions of the “good meek woman” that is embedded in many current forms of Christianity. I am most definitely (and happily) a woman. But I tend to be neither a progressive nor a conservative’s typical ideal of one and I’m not sorry. I probably love (slyly) provoking both sides a little too much, ha.

Honestly, I could go on... anytime there is a rule that doesn’t make sense to me I get contrary. My man grew up inside the conventional American healthcare system and I think it’s been a bit of a ride for him learning to live with a stubborn outsider/constant explorer like me. :) Hooray for love across differences!

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Tara's avatar

This is wonderful, Leah! Yes to the non-conformers! I didn't know that the east coast states were full of covid zealots. I thought that was a west coast thing? Gosh, both coasts?! And my man was wildly different than me when we met many years ago. I think he thought me a little wild and dangerous. Maybe that was part of the allure? ;-)

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Esther's avatar

Wellllll. I SELL RAW MILK! 💣💣💣💣

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Tara's avatar

Oooohhhh okay you just got braver than me. I bow to you, dear Esther.

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Esther's avatar

We have a secret password and you have to be referred by someone that has already passed our “government mole” test. 🐀

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Savannah Clayton's avatar

This is brilliant, and also i can’t believe we live in a world where a person selling raw milk has to come up with a government mole test… Don’t they have more important things to worry about?! 🧐

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Esther's avatar

We did have a dairy inspector try and pose as a customer. She’s notorious around this area for harassing raw milk producers. She’s left us alone now. We aren’t doing anything illegal (in our state) but we want to remain off of radars

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Esther's avatar

I cover my tracks I promise.

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Esther's avatar

Also I’m safe for the winter because we successfully dried Tulip off. Calf expected in May.

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Nenesh's avatar

I live in a Canadian city where I buy raw milk at a farmer's market, my eggs from a trusted regenerative farmer, unwashed and unrefridgerated and I pick a live sheep for myself and the farmer butchers it right there in front of me and I get to keep anything I want I.e the whole head, intestines etc

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Tara's avatar

Fantastic, Nenesh! Anyone that doesn't know, there is no place in Canada that can legally sell raw milk and we can't even sell eggs at the farmer's market! Your farmer is principled and brave and I'm so glad you are being nourished by someone with such conviction and that you're supporting them.

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Nenesh's avatar

Thank you Tara!!! You are such a light and encouragement to all women!!!!! I love and have a whole lot of respect for the kind of life and a way of life you are living! You are a prime example of what it means to live off the grid and do it so very successfully! ❤

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Tara's avatar

Thank you, Nanesh :)

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Mackenzie's avatar

This summer I made a delicious raw egg shake with some other goodies in it and had my mom and sister try it. It was only AFTER that I told them what was in it! Keep up that good fight!!

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Tara's avatar

The way to enlightenment 🙂

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

In the US, but in 2020 I purchased a handmade sweatshirt with “step out of line” written on it , I wore it as often as possible out in public. I suppose it’s not an offense in any way but I was able to show where I stood on the issues at hand and maybe encourages others to do so as well.

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Tara's avatar

Love this, Angela! We've been t-shirt activists, too. My husband is presently wearing his "You stay safe, I'll stay free" shirt when we go out and about and it's fun for me to watch how many looks he gets. I always wonder if anyone would dare say anything to him, but so far - nope. Did you ever get any comments? It reminds of all the stickers I put up in public places over the last two years that I got from the White Rose community with jaunty little sayings nicely encapsulating the madness of our times. :)

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Golden Years by Angela Mutnal's avatar

Love it !! I have yet to get a nasty remark about my sweatshirt. Only a couple “nice shirt” replies. I will be looking into this White Rose community you speak of 😉

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Gwynn's avatar

Right there with y’all with the t-shirt activism 😂 a few years ago anytime something became ‘controversial’ for ridiculous reasons such as the Betsy Ross flag or a certain person who spoke out, I would instantly buy a t-shirt and wear it in rebellion.

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Tara's avatar

Nice!!

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Natalia DB's avatar

Yes we’ve had some nighttime fun with our teenage kids, skulking about in black with spray adhesive glue in our pockets and White Rose stickers at the ready!

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Tara's avatar

My kinda' gang. :)

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Pholiday's avatar

My daughter got me a shirt that says "mandate veggies" - it's always a crowd pleaser😁

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Esther's avatar

I need this shirt. I’ve also thought of making tshirts that say “radical moderate” because I just can’t tolerate the left anymore. And where did all the “question authority” stickers of our youth go?

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Joe's avatar

What jumps to mind is that we have never gone in to register our dogs and get “tags” for them at the town office. No thanks. Our dogs are farm dogs, working dogs, they don’t wonder and are extremely attentive to us on farm and off. And they certainly don’t need little tags jingling from their collars as they do their work!

The town, in their impotent bureaucratic wisdom, continues to send us notices... year after year...

Makes me smile now that I think of it

🐕❤️🐕

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Tara's avatar

Ha! What is it with those dog tags!? When you have a big piece of property the dog never leaves, they seem totally unreasonable. We never register ours either. Total money grab.

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Amy Dempster | Following Hawks's avatar

I love this thread! Currently, I'm building a greenhouse without approval from our HOA (nobody can see it and I told them I'm doing it and not submitting plans for approval), never wore a mask from day one and just imagined wearing a "cloak of invisibility" anytime I went into public which apparently worked because I wasn't hassled about it even once, we accept cash as payment for our business as often as possible and just stash it in our safe, do lots of bartering, not to mention some other more "clandestine" activities involving plants :-)

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Tara's avatar

Wonderful! Love them all! I also like the tip of the cloak of invisibility. A little fortitude for the acts of courage. :)

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Rebecca's avatar

Two winters ago, a storm took out the power in my neighborhood. I live in a townhouse development, and generators are not allowed. I had a newborn and a freezer full of breastmilk- you bet your ass we ran out and grabbed my in-law’s generator.

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Tara's avatar

Yes, love it! Of course you did!

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Megan's avatar

I own a shop where I've turned people away for causing a scene because we weren't "enforcing" the mandate ha! On one hand we have leadership abandoning the rule of law, and on the other we have citizens adopting complete tyranny.

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Tara's avatar

My hero. The most disturbing of all are those stepping up to be the foot soldiers of such madness. We have a little shop in the city closest to us that we have frequented for years. It's a board game shop. Even with mask mandates lifted, they still enforce it. I walked in there, oblivious, just hoping to buy a new board game, and the lady yelled at me from across the store that I couldn't enter without a mask. I told her I didn't wear masks. She told me to leave. It was mortifying and so disappointing. I want to support our local economy, but that's our one and only board game store. I ordered online.

I'm so glad there are people like you out there. xo

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Jenelle's avatar

I often let my children climb, jump and explore in places they are not supposed to. Never did well baby visits etc. Never followed ridiculous vid guidelines in stores. Often got into polite disagreements with grocery store attendants who wanted to force hand sanitizer on myself or children. Questioning everything all of the time ha!

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Tara's avatar

It’s how you gotta’ live when they offer craziness as normal. Love it, Jenelle. I’ve actually been kicked out of stores in the last two years for not using their hand sanitizer and putting in a mask.

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Alexis's avatar

Me too! And I'm stubborn enough to hold a grudge so now we don't shop at the fabricland in our town.

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Tara's avatar

Hey, if they didn't want me then, they can't have me now. ;-)

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Rose's avatar

Me, too! I have a rule of not telling my kids to be careful. Then other people try to do it for me, when I'm literally standing there watching them.

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Amking's avatar

I will never stand on the "spot." I face the wrong way in elevators. I use cash. I wear a T-shirt from The Good Citizen that has a QR code with the middle finger in the code. It says "scan this."

https://the-good-citizen-2.creator-spring.com/listing/scan-this-prick?product=2 for the t-shirt

His substack can be very spicy. https://open.substack.com/pub/thegoodcitizen/p/the-motherlode?r=el1xl&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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Tara's avatar

So good!! I want you to make the next video!

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Amking's avatar

LOL!

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Natalia DB's avatar

😂😂😂

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Claude Lord's avatar

Sorry for being late to the party.

Well, I know an old guy who’s lived his whole life judging every rule and law for it’s common sense, application to the situation, it’s intent and it’s impediment to a wholesome and free lifestyle. Fathered four super healthy children, born-at-home, raised on home grown and home butchered fare. and lived a blessed (not easy) life!

To borrow a quote from Solsenichyn (?)

‘Those who give up freedom for safety, end up with neither’

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Tara's avatar

This should be the way we all maneuver this over-regulated world.

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Andrea Astudillo's avatar

Critical thinking is a blessing nowadays

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sabbian clover's avatar

I can't tell you how many looks of horror I used to get when my 3 tiny boys were young and were allowed to handle proper knives and axes , matches and fire, "work" with real tools etc. They all grew up to be accomplished, strong men. My oldest son just got the roof on the timber frame house he's building with boards he made at our sawmill from trees he logged in our woodlot.

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Tara's avatar

This is absolutely wonderful, Sabbian! It's inspiring to hear of young people still being brought up to have authentic confidence in their skills and abilities. What a great gift you gave them.

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Lindsey's avatar

This warms my heart. We have young boys who we home educate.. we also live in the woods and have a saw mill. They use axes and tools and love making stuff.

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Dwell in the Land's avatar

Rule breaking doesn't come naturally to me, so when I read this post this morning, I thought I didn't have anything to contribute to all of the great comments. But as I ran errands this afternoon I realized that I break more rules than I thought!

1. I pay cash whenever possible--even if it's an inconvenience.

2. My taxes that rise every year are apparently not sufficient for keeping our county road reasonably maintained and pot-hole free, so I drive my 20 year gas guzzling beast on whatever part of the road will do it the least damage (if there's oncoming traffic i stay in my lane :)

3. When city dwellers who wanted to escape their draconian covid rules started coming to our rural area 7 days a week (while apparently simultaneously staying at home to "stop the spread"), our county commissioners enacted a $10 per visit charge to all previously free (but now overwhelmed) county parks and trails. They "kindly" offer a $55.00/year discount pass for locals--I WILL NOT GIVE THEM ANY MORE OF MY MONEY (see rising taxes comment in #2). We hike elsewhere--the crowds drove us out anyways. (I suppose a more seasoned rule breaker would park and not pay--but I'm not there yet)

4. We quit using Amazon about 5 years ago--when my husband told someone that the other day he said he thought their jaw was going to hit the floor.

Inspiring post--thanks so much to you and everyone who has commented.

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Tara's avatar

You do have a rebellious streak! I love these examples. It just shows that some common sense and understanding of what is and isn't reasonable still trumps dogmatic and poorly planned regulations. It's our autonomy and power that we can give and take back at our own discretion.

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Natalie Brewer's avatar

Apparently saving seeds is a rebellious act. 🙃👋🙋‍♀️ I also felt rebellious the several times now that I've chosen a different path than my family. There are several other things too. My inner rebel let me know that she needed air and so I let her have it. 😁

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Tara's avatar

I love that, Natalie. Oxygenating our inner wildness. And those paths that deviate from our family are, I think, part of claiming ourselves.

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A. L. Bork, DVM's avatar

Oh goodness, I could get in so much trouble here 😆 So many “rules” I don’t follow, how to pick just one? I stopped wearing a mask 3 weeks in to the “masks save lives” hysteria. I worked for a large corporate veterinary hospital & wouldn’t put one on save for when it actually makes sense, like in surgery. Lots of complaints about me from the higher ups.

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Tara's avatar

Bravo!! Complaints from followers let you know you’re doing it right.

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A. L. Bork, DVM's avatar

Word.

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Krystal Cook's avatar

I am pregnant with my second baby, planning a homebirth that will be as hands off as possible. I eat raw liver, raw milk and raw egg yolks every single day of this pregnancy. Didn’t vaccinate my first son, stopped pointless well checks at a year, he eats raw beef liver like it’s candy and has never been to the doctor for a sick visit. He started walking at 10 months old and I rarely stop him from climbing things, jumping off of things, running around barefoot and playing in the dirt. My MIL nearly has a heart attack from all of these things and every other mom at the playground is horrified, but he’s the strongest, most coordinated and athletic 3 year old I know. I grew up this way in the woods of Montana and I refuse to follow all the “rules” of city life just because that is where we live right now. We live in a state that didn’t get as crazy with covid lockdowns and mandates, but I’ve broken nearly every rule regarding masks and otherwise since about 3 weeks into that mess. This thread has inspired me to maybe go forth with my desire for some illegal backyard chickens next year. 😉

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Tara's avatar

Hallelujah! You're doing it right, Krystal! Our daughter, who will have her babe in a few weeks, says this is exactly the type of way she wants to raise her child. You are building true health and a robust little human. I'm so glad you're out there doing the good work. Yes, chickens... or meat rabbits?

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Danielle's avatar

So many fun ways to go against the grain! We have had four home births and taken up to 2 weeks to name our kids after meeting them. No pressure from any hospital to hurry up and choose. All healthy kiddos despite their “lack” of conventional doses of “care” from well checks. We buy/consume raw dairy. It’s not illegal here but some people would consider it risky to be giving to children. i consider it less risky than store bought spinach these days!

We refuse to have a microwave in our house or an instapot. Long, simmering broths and properly prepared beans require old fashioned pots and pans, yah know? ;) my favorite rebellion is not mowing the lawn often in our suburban neighborhood. It may look a bit overgrown but I sure do love the dandelions, violets, and surprise thistle here and there! We have refused to buy an obnoxious weed wacker! If we want something gone, we pull it out, rip it short,

or use the scythe. Also refuse to buy grass seed with fertilizer from box stores. Finally found organic lawn seed mix with just rye, Dutch clover, etc. imagine that! Just seeds, and they grew just fine!!

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Tara's avatar

Thank you for such a great comment, Danielle. I think it's so affirming for people to read how we can all make small, daily decisions to do the things that matter to us instead of just towing the party line. These are wonderful!

I've never owned a microwave. I remember my mom bought one when I was a teenager and they were just hitting the market. You had to go to the microwave store to buy a microwave and then you had to take cooking classes to learn how to use it. It was the size of a dog coffin. Ha!

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Jackie Bridgen's avatar

I raised both my daughters on raw goats milk. I did. You're not supposed to, and it's supposed to kill you all almost instantly apparently, but they are 25 and 23 now and seem to be doing fine. I still drink raw goats milk.

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Tara's avatar

Funny how their great grandparents could easily access raw milk but it came to be a deadly food in their generation. Raising our children on real, nutrient dense foods is a wonderful example of why civil disobedience is a must in the face of such corruption. Good job, mama!

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Maresa's avatar

Not farming related at all, but I was in the Navy here in the US for 20 years, and I would always wear wacky colored and patterned tall socks under my flight boots. Stars and Stripes (hey, it's patriotic hahaha), koalas, unicorns....you name it. Yes, I know I signed up for it, but man did wearing happy socks make a difference when you're a super creative human in a rigid institution.

Also I feel like lately, without getting too specific (we can all figure out the big ones), there have been so many "rules" out there that are simply unenforceable. And people still follow right along! Nope, not me....whatcha gonna do? Come get me? Please *eye roll*.

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Tara's avatar

Maresa, I love this! I totally get what you're saying here. When I was in the army, I carried keys around with me in my hand and dropped them whenever I was passing a loser officer I didn't like just so I didn't have to salute him. Ha! Kind of obvious and I did get called out for it eventually, but I kept doing it.

A little bit of courage and standing up and their whole threat narrative crumbles into dust. Everyone is such a hero online, but in real life, cowards abound.

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Maresa's avatar

Ha! Being restricted really fosters creativity I think. The military is full of hilarious and imaginative folks, how they reacted to the rules with humor was one of my favorite parts about it.

And yes...a little bit of courage in a lot of people is a force to be reckoned with. Hopefully more folks give all this nonsense the good ole New York salute.

I really enjoy your writing and these discussions! Thanks for doing it 💛

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Tara's avatar

Couldn't agree more and thank you for your kind words. :)

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Georgia's avatar

Teacher here. Encourage my students to think deeply about decisions and seek out many modes of information, as opposed to just the textbook. Small, but with so many “by the book” teachers it’s very gratifying to see my students make creative connections and critically question me

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Tara's avatar

So desperately needed, Georgia. Your students are so lucky to have you guide them for a time.

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Georgia's avatar

Thank you- I won't be in this profession forever (bless my sweet partner for making career choices so I can eventually scale back work and stay home), but I hope I sprinkle little seeds of rebellion and criticality along the way. I'm lucky to teach compassionate and caring young people!

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Sri Devi Jennie's avatar

Had my baby at home in a place that's not allowed. We had a very kind doctor come and it was so nice to not be in a hospital. No intervention necessary. Mother Nature took care of everything.

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Tara's avatar

Beautiful!

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Nadia S's avatar

Part of a very secret, very *dangerous*, very *illegal* raw milk co-op. Thank God.

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Tara's avatar

We used to bring our kids to our covert raw milk pickups. Great way to teach them about just laws and corruption. Glad you got the goods, Nadia :)

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Jaylee's avatar

When I lived in the city, I kept illegal backyard chickens for four years. My small act of civil disobedience.

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Tara's avatar

Necessary measures when nuttiness rules.

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Modesta's avatar

when all (very small exeptions) soviet union shoolchildren became pioneers, I did'nt.

I grow poppyseeds log time before it was alowed.

Not always doing my kids routine med check up, and of cource no vaccination.

many "unsafe" actions like consuming raw milk, raw egyolks, etc

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Tara's avatar

That’s it! It’s the daily, small ways of rejecting what they’re trying to sell us as life. No, my life doesn’t look what you have in offer. Love it, Modesta!

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Emily's avatar

I stopped wearing my mask a year before LA lifted the mandate. Everything else I do is often a rebellion - homeschool, drink raw milk, eat organic (why is this controversial?), buy meat from farms - but I've been doing it for so long it doesn't seem rebellious anymore. I think I need to up my game. I used to be good at this. Our history teacher mentioned how he really would have known we understood the '60's if we'd staged a protest. So when he was late on mid-term day I arranged a sit out - he walked in, we walked out. And got some ridiculous curve on the test. Like an ! for your name etc. I definitely need to re-up my game!

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Tara's avatar

I think this is it, Emily. It’s those little things - how we eat and drink and live and communicate in our lives that reject what’s on offer. No, thank you, I’m going to do it my way. We need to cultivate that and be examples of what that looks like for those that can’t even imagine.

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Rebecca's avatar

I run red lights all the time. If no one is coming and it’s not a traffic heavy time of day, why not?

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Tara's avatar

Rebecca the red light runner! In the country, where there are nary another human, this is not an uncommon site at stop signs. Does anyone in rural areas count to three at a stop sign?

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Robyn Pineault's avatar

I didn't realize I was supposed to count to three even in the city ;)

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Rebecca's avatar

I should think not! Country stop signs call for a slow down and an assertive tap on the brake. I did technically stop....pushing the gas pedal.

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

I grew up driving in the country and after leaving my parents’ road a bajillion times, a passenger pointed out that I’d missed the stop sign.

I honestly had never mentally registered it as a stop sign. My parents never stopped at it. Neighbors never stopped at it. You could always tell an outsider because they stopped (other than the fact that you could tell because it wasn’ta car you knew!)

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Tara's avatar

Ha! Love it. Our stop signs have shotgun holes through them. What does that tell ya'?

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Savannah Clayton's avatar

Ohhh, we had one of these too when I was growing up! Except i knew about it because my dad (otherwise quite the rule follower!) got pulled over by a cop for running the stopsign 😅 (he actually talked his way out of it and even convinced the town to make it a yield instead 🤣)

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Alexis's avatar

In our house we consider stop signs to be "suggestions" rather than the law. I will admit though, sometimes I freak out about this because stopping is often a good idea. It's a balance over here.

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Tara's avatar

Balance, absolutely!

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Louella Martin's avatar

Hmm....we never were masks in our farm store and didn't require it for others either.

Our girls never wore masks during the vid stuff and my husband and I wore crocheted ones🤭 with obvious holes in them 🙃

We sell the forbidden 'white stuff' here in Canada.

I am drinking raw milk and raw eggs like a fiend during this pregnancy. I skipped all ultrasounds and routine tests during this pregnancy and planning for a homebirth in front of our woodstove with an unregistered midwife. I told friends I wanted to learn to trust my body in this pregnancy and delivery and they couldn't understand at all.

We sunbathe regularly, naked, and I just read that men's testosterone increases by 200% by getting sun on their balls. Definitely motivated my husband 😅

We stopped doing routine shots or checkups with our girls and this next baby will have none.

I reuse jars and lids and non canning jars all the time when canning. I can things that 'can't be canned'.

I thaw meat in hot water.

I guess there's more little things than I realize that I'm hardly even aware of 🤷‍♀️

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Tara's avatar

Love it all. To me, this is just called "life". I forget this isn't how we all do it. Maybe that's a good thing. And yes, sunning all the bits is a great idea! I told that to my husband and he drove past me naked on the tractor. Ha! He makes me laugh, that guy.

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Louella Martin's avatar

Oh yea and the climate action incentive cheques...well they make good bedding for the chickens🤭 it's our way of not buying into that whole BS

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Tara's avatar

What a farce! Good use for them!

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Cassia Karen's avatar

This video reminds me of SO many times, while I lived in the city, that I took pictures of myself breaking the “rule” that the sign indicated was golden.

The first one in my memory was my brother and I at ages 7 & 8 with our ice skates on next to a “no ice skating” sign at the lake in the centre of the city. My grandparents and mom took us for our first outdoor skate (In Burnaby, BC!) because Deer Lake had frozen over! (This never happens in that area 🤣)

My mom took the photo. My grandparents were the kind of people who adventured everywhere regardless of signs saying otherwise - it’s intergenerational now.

Honestly- I left the city over a decade ago because of signs telling me how to live my life and it was driving me batty!

There are many other daily things that are just a normal part of our lives that others would consider “rebellious” in comparison, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t live any other way! In honour of Ron and Shirley - the black sheep of their family, the iconoclastic, irreverent and irreplaceable humans, I will continue to choose the back roads, the scenic route, the trail less travelled, the mountains over the mole hill.

Sign, sign

Everywhere a sign

Blockin' out the scenery

Breakin' my mind

Do this, don't do that

Can't you read the sign? 🛑

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Tara's avatar

Love it, Cassia. I remember going to a small town in Europe and there was a large lake with beer gardens around it. Children were running all over the place and there wasn't a fence or a sign or a railing to be seen. My husband and I were amazed, but we also noticed something else that was different. People all seemed to look up and over at the kids. Just a passing glance. It was community all looking out for them here and there. Very chill, very relaxed. That wouldn't happen here in Canada and I think we are now seeing what our obsession with safety is getting us.

I think I would really like your grandparents.

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Cassia Karen's avatar

I should also say that pretty well every comment already shared here encapsulates my daily life 🤣🤣🤣 everyone here is clearly a beautiful human being embracing their own sacred rebel! Thanks for this thread Tara!

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Tara's avatar

I agree, it's so wonderful. I like it when we can come together and feel less like the oddballs. :)

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Nate Wood's avatar

I often run across private property with my windsurfer to get back from the water if I get washed away from my launch point. The other day I headed up a very stately looking home's driveway in order to get back to the road so I could walk and pick up my truck only to discover I was gated and fenced in. I imagine it was a little entertaining on the security footage to watch my gear and I scale the wall all in my wetsuit. lol. Anyway thankfully I haven't run into an angry dog yet.

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Pam Voss's avatar

Oh this is hysterical. I remember as a teen, my boyfriend and I had swam out to a rock that had a hole in the middle you could climb up then jump off about 15-20’ into the water below. We’ll, we were hanging out on the rock and decided we didn’t want to jump back in and swim because the afternoon had turned chilly. We snuck through this very upscale home’s yard and were greeted on a very long driveway by the grounds keeper (I in my bikini and boyfriend in his suit), asking what we were doing. “Oh, we were just leaving” boyfriend said and we kept walking out. Gate was locked and we climbed through some hedges onto a very busy road to the surprise of many driving by. We laughed for years about that one.

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Tara's avatar

This is so good!

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Tara's avatar

This is so awesome! I especially like that you decided to scale it instead of leaving for an easier access point. I would love to see that footage! :)

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Angel's avatar

I'm from Canada and live in the city. I drink raw milk, don't vaccinate my cat and feed it raw food. Imagine that!

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Tara's avatar

I can imagine that and I love that you're out there doing just that, Angel :)

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Kay's avatar

Traded my salad dressing for eggs from my husband's co-worker

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Tara's avatar

Win Win. This is awesome.

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shay's avatar

I don't pay my car tabs on any of my vehicles - they are outrageous and my state collectively voted to limit them to $35.00/year and our government gave us all the middle finger. I also jaywalk quite often and only slow down at stop signs (when no one is coming).

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Tara's avatar

What's a car tab, Shay?

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shay's avatar

They are little decals that go on our license plates that we have to pay for yearly. The cost of them is supposed to go towards keeping roadways safe (filling potholes/repaving/extending lanes/etc...). But in Washington State most of what we pay goes disproportionately towards the city of Seattle and their unreliable and measly public transportation. We used to pay roughly $100/year per vehicle tab and now all of our vehicles are well over $800/year. So I absolutely refuse to pay something that I (and 95% of the state) get no benefit from. It is technically illegal to not have up-to-date tabs on your vehicle, but most cops will not pull you over or ticket you because they also voted to keep our tabs at a set $35.00/year....

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Tara's avatar

Oh my word, that is ridiculous! So, here, we call them "stickers", but it's the same thing. We pay $75/year or so. $800 a year is absolutely hideous! And it's the same here, we pay these crazy fees and taxes for services we never see, but go to Toronto and Ottawa. Good for you for not paying it. Our stickers are outdated by a year. :)

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Zoe Boyce's avatar

Hang on you have to pay extra on top of registration?

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Emilly's avatar

Oh boy… I don’t license or vax my dog, I buy raw milk, I sometimes work for cash, I run red lights when it’s like 2am and very clearly no one around, I don’t pay for parking and just rip up the ticket unless it’s a municipal lot (they’ll get you when you renew your license), never wore a mask or use sanitizer, never gone for cervical screening….I could go on 🙄

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Tara's avatar

We’re united in rebel hearts. Love it all. And I love that you brought up the screening. I get letters in the mail from our health care telling me to go get my boobs irradiated and my cervix scraped. No thanks.

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Alison's avatar

Once I lied to a parking attendant that I was just going to pick someone up and not park my car. Then parked and took my daughter ice skating. She was very intrigued by the lie. It prompted some great discussion! Also, I never shower before getting in a public or gym swimming pool. And I don't always wear my seatbelt when driving on my (long) driveway. Watch out - I'm a wild one!

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Tara's avatar

Haha! That’s so good. These little bits of defiance keep our spirits just that little bit untamed. I think they’re essential to keeping us connected to what is real and wild in us.💕

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Catherine's avatar

We spent a couple hours driving through the Reservation in Utah last week. We didn’t wear a mask when we stopped for gas 😳. Law breakers!

Bartering is gift-giving that goes both ways.

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Tara's avatar

Wild ones! 😁 Bartering will save the day when they bring in digital currencies. Must start now.🙂🙂

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Susie's avatar

The guy in the video is Australian, he reminds me of my 23yo son who happened to come by for a visit yesterday. Incidentally, he talked about everyone becoming like sheep and looking and acting the same. He talked about 'going off grid' and living closer to the land. Made my heart sing! We Australians love breaking rules ;)

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Tara's avatar

Oh, I like your son! I'm glad to hear you like breaking rules. We need more people with grit. :)

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Lindsey's avatar

I feed my chickens and pigs meat, sour milk and whey!

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Tara's avatar

Just like the good old days. And they're all the healthier for it!

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Louise's avatar

My three children haven’t been injected nor have they seen doctors. They are the healthiest and sparkliest eyed children I know! I have had three home births, the last 2 were free births meaning no medical ‘professional’ attended my births.

I buy raw milk from a local farm, and drank lots of raw milk, rae cheese, raw fish, and liver in pregnancy ❤️

I’ve loved reading these, thank you!

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Tara's avatar

Oh, joy! Oh, joy! Louise our daughter is having a free birth. The more women I hear from that have gone this route, the more my mind expands. How lovely. xo

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Louise's avatar

How beautiful, sending love and blessings to your daughter and to you as Grandmother! I agree totally, I absolutely love to hear that women trust their bodies and trust birth!

I’m a birthkeeper and more rebelling that springs to mind, is using the words ‘woman’ and ‘mother’ many doulas/ midwives/ birthkeepers are now being trained to use ‘birthing person’ ‘chest-feeding’ etc. it boggles my mind that it’s controversial to say that men can’t give birth..

xx

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Tara's avatar

This was brought to my attention by a young woman I know that is a birthkeeper as well. I find that absolutely horrifying. I refuse to use such words. I believe them to be a lie and I won't echo this lie. We have to be vocal and strong in our refusal to accept this delusion.

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Zoe Boyce's avatar

Yay for free birth! I have free birthed twice and it is the best and most amazing way to birth!

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