
you asked
I endeavour to answer
Admittedly, this is no slick podcast set up. I’m sitting here in my dark room, just before 0500hrs. Everything and everyone, still asleep. I’ve made myself a big mug of a chaga/coffee mix with a hearty dollop of cream. My mammoth beeswax candle is lit and spreading its warm love. I’ve started both fires in the wood stoves downstairs. And now, here I sit, staring at this little green button telling me to “record”. It’s a tad frightening, that button.
I wanted to just take a second and thank you all for your beautiful, intelligent, considered questions. So many of them brought me to tears. You are such a thoughtful, interesting group of people. Reading your words made me want to be sitting in a room with you all, lounging on pillows, wrapped in wool around our fire, just listening and learning from you, too. To just hold energetic space, to look into your faces when you speak. It all sounds so luxurious. I will make you a hot brew in a chunky mug moulded with real hands. I will even fluff your pillows. Will you come?
Maybe that is still to be. In the meantime, you’re here with me in spirit. Truly.
I will start with the first question I received and go from there. I won’t be able to answer everything in one shot, but if this goes ok, I will endeavour to squirrel away some time to go through the rest. Please don’t add anymore questions to the last batch. I plan on doing a part two or three to this one where I will do my best to get to the questions I couldn’t today. I will do another of these in the future if you guys like them. Perhaps once I learn how to record in a way that allows me to stop for a pee or to take a sip of my water without blowing your eardrums out.
One, final note: I have not sat down before this and formulated my answers. Nothing is written down. I realize that this means I will think back to what I said and kick myself for not adding this or that, but I resist the planning all the same. I want it to be as close to you and me having a conversation as possible. I trust that what bubbles up is what’s supposed to be said. I also trust it won’t be as smooth and polished as it would be if I wrote it out. But life isn’t that way in the raw and I feel better when I keep it as close to real as possible. That said, there were so many wonderful questions that some deserve whole essays in return. I have dogeared many of your beautiful comments as inspiration for future posts. Thank you for inspiring me.
At the urging of some people that I respect and at the behest of the ever-evolving situation we find ourselves in, I’ve made the decision to open up my subscription to a paid or free option. Either way, you will receive my newsletters into your inbox as soon as they are published. If you have the means and the desire to support my writing, you can click on the subscription button and go for a paid option. If not, for either category, just stick with the free version. They’re both the same content, either way. Should I ever move towards adding content only available to paid subscribers, I will let you all know first and I will always make everything I offer free to anyone that needs it to be so. No questions asked. Ever.
you asked
Who else waits to read Tara’s words until they’re bundled up on the porch with a warm cup of coffee? I savor these words. And for me they are best enjoyed when everything else is tuned out so that I can bath myself in them. Be right back, need to wipe my chin.
This was how I wanted to start my day. Thank you for time around the fire and for fluffing the pillows.
I too found you on Instagram and have since left it. This space is so treasured. Thank you.
What you mentioned about being humbled and finding that the moments of beauty, gratitude, awe are weightier because of pain or suffering is something I sincerely relate to. Suffice to say I have a condition that makes life tricky if I don't take medication - at one point I was horizontal screaming in pain for a few months - but when everyone around me was telling me how they hoped and prayed this would just go away, I was saying no. I knew I needed to change in certain ways that I could only change in through brokenness, learn through it, and surrender in a deeper way. And boy has it been a journey since 2018 when it started. And small moments of goodness are now the sweetest breaths of wonder. And pain when it happens echoes reminders that all here is merely temporary.
I love your awareness of that - temporary - makes me think of a passage I love that says we are merely pilgrims passing through - it helps me consider being fully present whenever possible - soak in this life.
Have a beautiful weekend Tara.