This brought up so much emotion for me. Tears of joy. I’ve had a csection, a homebirth with a midwife, and a freebirth. There’s no feeling like taking back you power and birthing your own child in all of that power taking full and complete responsibility. It gives new meaning to the words mother, and woman. I’m so thrilled for your experience and feel the pride you have for your daughter and granddaughter. Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!
Jess, I am so moved by the different experiences you have had in childbirth. You have so much to share after such wildly divergent experiences. Your story is a celebration and such a powerful testament to your determination and desire to reclaim all the parts of your power. Bravo, good woman! What an accomplishment and a gift to you and your babes.
I am a man and can certainly not fully appreciate the full experience or the complete feeling of bliss but having been chief of support and head of the comfort department during our four home births, I can assure you that babies do not need to be ‘delivered’. They come of their own will and in their own good time. It’s meant to be and it’s beautiful.
Faith, strength and courage.
Here is your reward!
As well, if something goes wrong, we must believe that was also meant to be...
Wise words, Claude. Yes, so very true. We can move in the direction of faith and belief while still acknowledging that there are things beyond our reach of control. And what a reward she is! :)
This is so beautiful! Congratulations to all of you!!
I wrote a comment on one of your posts many months ago now, when I had just found out I was pregnant and also had a home birth a few months ago. Giving birth at home was everything I imagined it to be - deeply empowering, freeing, joyful. I loved being in my own space, setting up my environment the way I wanted it, and felt so relaxed and calm the whole time. I don't remember it as painful at all.
I was told all these horror stories about how much my husband would hate me if anything happened to our baby and how I would live with myself if anything were to go wrong. I still find it heartbreaking that so many people make their decisions out of fear, especially in the context of birth, without understanding that fear is exactly the worst thing to pursue because its physiological effects can manifest the same problems they're so scared of.
I'm so happy for your daughter, that she made her choice despite all of that, and for you, that you could separate your worry from responsibility and find joy in the experience.
Congratulations again to all of you! Babies bring so much unabashed happiness and laughter with them. I'm stunned every day by just how much.
Congratulations to you and your family, Nouran. What a beautiful comment. That you had the conviction and trust in yourself despite the purveyors of fear is such a testament to your will. I find it such a discouraging trait of humans, to want to pull others into their holes of doom. Why not lift each other up, close to the light so that we all may bask in the warmth?
What a way to start out a life. Already, you have set the pace and the direction of your lives and it starts in faith and belief of your abilities and in the gifts we are endowed with. I am so happy for you all.
Thank you for the kind words! You've actually been a huge inspiration in giving me that confidence and faith in the natural process, so that means more than I can say.
I am living in the same region of the world as Tara. What advice would you give to a young woman looking to start a family, and interesting in giving birth outside of a hospital? What should I research? Where should I learn? What should I expect from research and the experience?
Hi Magan, I am a registered midwife in Ontario. I lost my job a year ago due to mandates. Since then I have given birth to my first baby at home. I have also come to question everything I’ve been taught as a midwife.
My recommendation for anyone becoming a mother is to question everything, and trust your instincts. There are many great resources out there but it can also become overwhelming to sort through it all.
If there’s one book I’d recommend it’s Reclaiming Childbirth as a Right of Passage by Rachel Reed. Sarah Wickham is also an incredible resource. She has numerous small books on different topics that you will no doubt have to make decisions about. She also has a helpful blog.
I found Indie Birth community helpful. I listened to the podcast but I know they are on Social media and have a private community you can join. Freebirth society is a resource I find helpful to find what my trigger points are but it’s not the only resource I needed. Billie Harrigan is local to Ontario and is a traditional birth attendant (TBA). She is training more TBAs you can find her online just about anywhere. I am also planning on moving into supporting birth outside the system once my maternity leave completes. I know a number of midwives who are going this direction as well.
Some people find having a doula helpful but know that all doulas are not created equally so be picky. Registered Midwives are mostly “med-wives”. Be prepared for a diluted version of mainstream obstetrics. Midwives in Ontario are not taught to know and trust physiologic birth. They are not taught holistic and alternative treatments. They are slaves to “community standards” and the college of midwives. Just telling you this as a heads up. Many women are expecting something else when they get midwives. There are of course exceptions. But most are gone now due to mandates.
Look at all your options: freebirth, birth with a TBA, birth with a registered midwife, and hospital birth with an OB...go with what is right for you. Trust that you will know and don’t let anyone tel you otherwise.
Thank you for your advice! I plan on trusting my instincts, and tuning them as I go along. Right now I feel extremely wary of current medical assumptions, so I know that there is a lot of research ahead.
I want to preface by saying that I don't think there's any one right way to give birth. Giving birth is so individual that every mother has to find her own way. The thing that made the biggest difference to me is understanding that we are animals too. We seem to have a much deeper acceptance of dogs or cows or sows needing their space, a quiet environment, the ability to move freely and so on, than we do when it comes to mothers who are often trapped in one position, under harsh white lights, surrounded by strangers. Giving birth makes you extremely vulnerable and we have instincts that go haywire if we don't feel safe and comfortable and relaxed. That's when complications, traumas, and regrets happen.
I'm not in Canada so I can't help out with anything specific there but these are the things that come to mind:
1) Find out the full spectrum of options you have available, ranging from a hospital birth to a totally unassisted free birth.
2) One of the things that helped me personally was watching birth stories on youtube. It sounds voyeuristic and I hated that about it but people choose to share their experiences and having a real impression of different ways of giving birth made a huge difference to me.
3) Surround yourself with all the positive birth stories. I found that people were always happy to share horror stories and almost no one ever spoke about the actual birthing experience in positive terms.
4) See if you can get in contact with people in your area who have experienced home births, e.g. midwives, doulas, mothers and see if how they describe their experiences resonated with you.
4) Some books that helped me:
Childbirth without fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
6) Some courses that helped me:
Hypnobabies
The Thompson Method
7) I would also highly recommend Spinning Babies, which provides a much more anatomical education on babies in the womb, the positions they lay in and how impacts birth and labour, different movements that you can do to support their descent through the pelvis, how to move and rest and exercise during pregnancy.
Everything there came at birth from the angle of "how do we enable and empower women to have the birthing experience that they dream of," which is why all of it spoke to me.
That said, I am a worrier and a thinker at heart so this level of education is just what I needed to not only feel comfortable with my decision but to feel like I understood where and how and when I could influence my own labour, if that makes sense.
I know a lot of people would find it overwhelming instead so if that's you I say: So so so much of this happens naturally and instinctively. Women have been giving birth for millennia without a million courses - although they had much tighter knit communities in the past too, where you could learn from other mothers. Either way the foundation is believing in your body, in yourself, in nature and trusting that it will guide you through. Get yourself a support system and listen to your body and the rest will happen as it should.
I hope that helps in some way! Good luck on starting a family and I wish you the happiest future birth possible.
Thank you for your advice and blessings! Spinning Babies sounds like a book I should find. The name is also amusing because spinning can mean adjusting position, or to spin yarn and the "thread of life" from Greek mythology.
Hi Magan, I wasn't the original person you responded to, but I thought I would chime in to your inquiry because to me, these are important questions to ask!
I would urge you to question everything that you hear that seems to pathologize women's bodies (and your babies') while exercising the evolutionary biological function of growing, birthing and raising a babies and children. As someone who chose to birth entirely outside of the medical system, my perception of what most people commonly refer to as "home births", which are generally attended by licensed midwives, while I understand why it is done, the reality of modern midwifery is often, in practice, to bring the faulty Western medical paradigm and practice into one's home, and merely paints the illusion of freedom and bodily autonomy. This is what many people want, and that's okay, but just like all of the modern matrix that society accepts as normal, there are significant costs that often go un-evaluated and unrecognized. If you are interested in a home birth attended by a licensed midwife, I would look into resources on "natural childbirth" and hunt for midwives in your area, perhaps hire a doula. If you are more interested in a pregnancy and/or birth outside the medical system, I highly recommend the Free Birth Society. They can be found on instagram, but they have a Complete Guide to Free Birth that I personally found invaluable and I think every birthing woman would benefit from, regardless of whether or not she intends to birth on her own or not. I was a doula for years prior to becoming a mother myself, and I have so many other resources that I have found helpful for clients and myself and always happy to share what I've learned! <3
Thank you for your advice! I have "A hunter gatherer's guide to the 21st century" by Bret Weinstein and Heather Heying, so I have a good guide for how to think similarly to an evolutionary biologist.
Planning my own first freebirth, living on a farm with my parents in the next house, it was so nice reading your thoughts on it as I know they also will have their worries. I might have them read your words, hoping it would help. Thanks for sharing, happy for you and your family ❤️
Congratulations, Inga! I think it's quite normal for parents of my generation and older to have these worries given what we have been told. I just hope for consideration and openness in your case and in many others. I think the worst thing we can do as humans is lay our fears and lack f knowledge on others. That's not fair. Self-reflection is uncomfortable as hell, but how do we grow without? So much love to you as you enter into this new chapter of your life.
Such a beautiful story ♥️ a free birth, with you as a witness, as it should be !
I also freebirthed my second daughter 9 months ago, and reading powerful birth stories brings all those beautiful memories back. I would do it again tomorrow, and again and again.
Congrats! Glad to hear your daughter follows the path taken by millions of powerful women before her! Our son is now 27 birthed at home, all 10 lbs of him, as our horrified community whispered at the post office and grocery store.
Your daughter knows her strength and there is no turning back.
Welcome to this beautiful earth little one. Be blessed Above Down Inside Out!
Wonderful, Robin! I am so awed by you and grossed out by the smallness of whispering gossipers. Some people prefer the cave to the sunbeams. Not much to see there.
Congratulations! I too have been navigating the world of taking back our womanly power in birth. If I have a third baby I will most likely travel far away so that I may have the birth that I want and was not allowed (by who??) to have where I currently live with my first two. I love birth stories and am so happy to hear that your beautiful granddaughter came into this world as your daughter wanted! Sending love to you all ❤️❤️
All the research I did 18 years ago is what led to my two homebirths… I’m amazed the hospital model has still not changed much and the cascading interventions for “ safety” ( theirs, not yours) is still ongoing… congratz to the new family!😊 enjoy your Babymoon!!
Congratulations to baby for arriving here! And to mom and dad and all the rest of you on the delight of having another soul in your family! I especially appreciated your paragraph on worry feeling like a responsibility to share... that is something i’ve struggled with... wanting to warn others of what i fear when they have no such fear themself. Thank you for giving me something to chew on to help me work on that aspect of myself.
Thank you for your kind words and your willing self reflection. This is something I've tried to pay close attention to as well. Mostly, I have felt quite manipulated in my life by the overbearing worry of some people close to me. I've noticed that putting my worry on someone is mostly met with a wedge of resistance. I think it used to make me feel better to share it (as if worry has some magic of protection in it), but it didn't make the other person feel better to accept it. My daughters say, "Don't put that energy on me, I don't believe that." They're right.
More and more I think worry is just stewing in negative energy creation. It still takes muscle and conscious will not to fall into it, but I'm pretty good at catching myself in that whirlpool now. I can make a conscious decision to get out and negate that way of being by instead evoking the vision and feelings of the opposite. I see and feel and smell and hold the goodness of the situation instead of the possible horrors. I don't know if that sounds woo-woo, but it quite literally changed my life over time. I can also erase others imposed worries on me by doing the same.
Congratulations! What a beautiful moment and beginning you just described.
I had my first as you described your births, "natural" I now know was a lied. In bed, pushing on command, the end I still held my beautiful babe, but knew it should be different. My second I sought a midwife, but she practiced at the hospital. Better by far, but still not what I had dreamed. But it was the only way, right?
Almost a decade later, my 30s drawing to a close, we were shocked to discover I was expecting. I knew so much more, like you said, that piece finally picked up and examined. 18 months ago I had a home birth and it was unlike anything I could have dreamed. Even more amazing is she would have been a section at the hospital, failure to progress, wrong presentation. Turns out that's her.....that day I knew what we were in for with this one and she has spend 18 months showing us her untamed, unadulterated, nourished and free self.
I wish the world could know the options one has! All must be examined.
Congratulations, Anna! What a gorgeous story! All those pieces, the markers of western medicine that determine interventions are necessary, were so ingrained in my brain as just a 'given truth'. Of course! Of course you intervene when those presentations manifest! Of course interventions are life saving. Wow, it's amazing to start reading and learning what intervention begets another right from the starting point of being in a hospital. We already go into birth conditioned to relinquish and accept.
I am thrilled for you that your last experience was a reclamation and a celebration. What a joyous, powerful way to start a new life! ❤️
There is something about becoming a Grandmother/Grandfather that I think closes some deeply luscious, human spirit and God woven loop. I myself am only 26 but every time I hear Grandparents talk about their grand babies there is this really divine sparkle that just speaks from something so much deeper.. That’s how I know it’s true 💕 Congratulations Tara to your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your joy
Welcome to the most amazing and perfect wonder of the world- Grandparenting!!!
What a beautiful and joy filled post this is!
Thank you for allowing us to experience the magnificence of your experience joining your daughter in free birth. Thank you for the pictures of the new baby and her grandparents. Your faces say everything all at once!! And she...she with all her hair and her rosy cheeks - and all the inherited love and wisdom - SHE shall be a force to be reckoned with!!! What a delight!!
Sending you so so much love Tara, as you enter into one of the most beautiful, exciting and important journeys. Hello Grandma!! 🥰
Thank you so much, Jeanie. It feels like the best club I've ever joined!🙂 I do believe you're right about her being a force. So much love and what a kickstart in life.
Now, how to get across borders with ease? So much to examine in this new world. 💕
This is one of the most powerful, important essays on being a parent that I've ever read. Just, thank you. What a gift you are giving to your daughter and your grandchild. So many blessings to you all!
A world of congratulations to all the new “people”...parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins perhaps, all created by the arrival of this amazingly fantastical beautiful creature! Tara, she is beyond gorgeous! Your joy and pride shines like the brightest sunbeam. I can’t imagine how you have the strength to now walk away, and greatly admire your acceptance of that need. You shall have endless hours to love and dote on her as Grammy Tara! Thank you for sharing this magical, miraculous moment through your beautiful words and photos.
Aside from my joy in seeing and hearing of your granddaughter’s arrival, I have to say how —once again— you have crafted the perfect mix of words to describe a life process: “...I just noticed a hiccup in the engine one day, long ago, and had to open the hood. One thing led to another and next thing I knew, there were parts all over the ground at my feet waiting for my attention...” Such a great analogy for something I wish more folks could experience, in order to open their minds and hearts to true living. But I guess it just takes something/someone special to notice that first hiccup. I’m happy you noticed.
Thank you so much, Diane, for being so wholeheartedly and generously exuberant with us. Isn't it something to look at a newborn baby and think that only hours earlier they were known to only God and suddenly, they're here, in the flesh, part of this world and your heart for all eternity. It can really break you to smithereens if you really let it in. Life is just miraculous.
And thank you, too, for the kind words about my analogy. So many parts at my feet patiently waiting. The more I look the more they seem to sprout offspring. 😉❤️
I'm unapologetically crying. A girl!! What an absolute blessing!! From the deepest part of my heart congratulations to you and to your family. She is such a gift! And how blessed is that sweet girl to be born into such a loving and passionate family❤️ I'm sending teary cheek hugs.
When we taste the bitter in life, the sweet is that much sweeter ❤️
Wow! Congrats Tara to you & your wonderful family! Thank you for bringing me to tears of joy and love today.. along with all of your readers! The truth and wonder of a mother witnessed in her birthing power is healing and inspiring for everyone. I have only just learned about 'free births' over the past year while getting to know a whole new community of freedom-loving people in my homeschool network. It's revelatory. These empowered mamas are seeding a whole new paradigm for the generations to come and I'm so grateful.
I appreciate how your writing touches these deeper considerations around our sovereignty. Though I had both my boys 'naturally' in hospital (a decade ago), I didn't trust myself enough to 'break the law' and have a home birth- (here in PEI, midwifery is still in the process of being legislated). The biggest 'aha' for me though, is how fear has been used to control us in so many areas of life, but especially motherhood- because for most (if not all) of us- it's the nearest and dearest role we play. With each free birth I learn about, I rejoice in the power of women reclaiming our choices, our health, our freedom, our love & our sacred moments.
Bask in the luminous wonder of your beautiful grandchild and your glowing powerful daughter! Love Love Love!
Thank you for your thoughtful and generous comment, Emily. I am so enjoying reading about other women's stories of birth and how so many of us are realizing what has been lost in following the rules or trying to please others or, as is mostly the case, just being unaware and truly wanting to do what we've been told is best for our children.
I admit that when I was first introduced to the idea, I thought it a little irresponsible. I started to read and listen and a whole new way of thinking opened up. It's satisfying to hear that you find the thread of sovereignty throughout my writing. It seems to me that the more I untangle, the more I learn, the more I come to understand how dangerous sovereignty is becoming to the goals of the establishment. Conformity and obedience to systems and guidelines are held up as virtues. And yet, I don't see much hope or joy or connection to meaning in those words.
I'm with you - I rejoice as women reclaim the beauty and expansion of birth as they so choose to do. We are a people awakening. From our food to our lifestyles to the raising and educating of our children to our freeing ourselves from the indoctrination into all facets of machine-life, things are happening. It's worthy of rejoicing indeed. ❤️❤️
This brought up so much emotion for me. Tears of joy. I’ve had a csection, a homebirth with a midwife, and a freebirth. There’s no feeling like taking back you power and birthing your own child in all of that power taking full and complete responsibility. It gives new meaning to the words mother, and woman. I’m so thrilled for your experience and feel the pride you have for your daughter and granddaughter. Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!
Jess, I am so moved by the different experiences you have had in childbirth. You have so much to share after such wildly divergent experiences. Your story is a celebration and such a powerful testament to your determination and desire to reclaim all the parts of your power. Bravo, good woman! What an accomplishment and a gift to you and your babes.
Congratulations again!!!
I am a man and can certainly not fully appreciate the full experience or the complete feeling of bliss but having been chief of support and head of the comfort department during our four home births, I can assure you that babies do not need to be ‘delivered’. They come of their own will and in their own good time. It’s meant to be and it’s beautiful.
Faith, strength and courage.
Here is your reward!
As well, if something goes wrong, we must believe that was also meant to be...
Wise words, Claude. Yes, so very true. We can move in the direction of faith and belief while still acknowledging that there are things beyond our reach of control. And what a reward she is! :)
And that fairness and justice are not of this world...
This is so beautiful! Congratulations to all of you!!
I wrote a comment on one of your posts many months ago now, when I had just found out I was pregnant and also had a home birth a few months ago. Giving birth at home was everything I imagined it to be - deeply empowering, freeing, joyful. I loved being in my own space, setting up my environment the way I wanted it, and felt so relaxed and calm the whole time. I don't remember it as painful at all.
I was told all these horror stories about how much my husband would hate me if anything happened to our baby and how I would live with myself if anything were to go wrong. I still find it heartbreaking that so many people make their decisions out of fear, especially in the context of birth, without understanding that fear is exactly the worst thing to pursue because its physiological effects can manifest the same problems they're so scared of.
I'm so happy for your daughter, that she made her choice despite all of that, and for you, that you could separate your worry from responsibility and find joy in the experience.
Congratulations again to all of you! Babies bring so much unabashed happiness and laughter with them. I'm stunned every day by just how much.
Congratulations to you and your family, Nouran. What a beautiful comment. That you had the conviction and trust in yourself despite the purveyors of fear is such a testament to your will. I find it such a discouraging trait of humans, to want to pull others into their holes of doom. Why not lift each other up, close to the light so that we all may bask in the warmth?
What a way to start out a life. Already, you have set the pace and the direction of your lives and it starts in faith and belief of your abilities and in the gifts we are endowed with. I am so happy for you all.
Thank you for the kind words! You've actually been a huge inspiration in giving me that confidence and faith in the natural process, so that means more than I can say.
Hi,
I am living in the same region of the world as Tara. What advice would you give to a young woman looking to start a family, and interesting in giving birth outside of a hospital? What should I research? Where should I learn? What should I expect from research and the experience?
Nouran answered this so fully and generously - little to add other than checking out the work of the Free Birth society.
Hi Magan, I am a registered midwife in Ontario. I lost my job a year ago due to mandates. Since then I have given birth to my first baby at home. I have also come to question everything I’ve been taught as a midwife.
My recommendation for anyone becoming a mother is to question everything, and trust your instincts. There are many great resources out there but it can also become overwhelming to sort through it all.
If there’s one book I’d recommend it’s Reclaiming Childbirth as a Right of Passage by Rachel Reed. Sarah Wickham is also an incredible resource. She has numerous small books on different topics that you will no doubt have to make decisions about. She also has a helpful blog.
I found Indie Birth community helpful. I listened to the podcast but I know they are on Social media and have a private community you can join. Freebirth society is a resource I find helpful to find what my trigger points are but it’s not the only resource I needed. Billie Harrigan is local to Ontario and is a traditional birth attendant (TBA). She is training more TBAs you can find her online just about anywhere. I am also planning on moving into supporting birth outside the system once my maternity leave completes. I know a number of midwives who are going this direction as well.
Some people find having a doula helpful but know that all doulas are not created equally so be picky. Registered Midwives are mostly “med-wives”. Be prepared for a diluted version of mainstream obstetrics. Midwives in Ontario are not taught to know and trust physiologic birth. They are not taught holistic and alternative treatments. They are slaves to “community standards” and the college of midwives. Just telling you this as a heads up. Many women are expecting something else when they get midwives. There are of course exceptions. But most are gone now due to mandates.
Look at all your options: freebirth, birth with a TBA, birth with a registered midwife, and hospital birth with an OB...go with what is right for you. Trust that you will know and don’t let anyone tel you otherwise.
Hope this is helpful
Thank you for your advice! I plan on trusting my instincts, and tuning them as I go along. Right now I feel extremely wary of current medical assumptions, so I know that there is a lot of research ahead.
Hi Magan!
I want to preface by saying that I don't think there's any one right way to give birth. Giving birth is so individual that every mother has to find her own way. The thing that made the biggest difference to me is understanding that we are animals too. We seem to have a much deeper acceptance of dogs or cows or sows needing their space, a quiet environment, the ability to move freely and so on, than we do when it comes to mothers who are often trapped in one position, under harsh white lights, surrounded by strangers. Giving birth makes you extremely vulnerable and we have instincts that go haywire if we don't feel safe and comfortable and relaxed. That's when complications, traumas, and regrets happen.
I'm not in Canada so I can't help out with anything specific there but these are the things that come to mind:
1) Find out the full spectrum of options you have available, ranging from a hospital birth to a totally unassisted free birth.
2) One of the things that helped me personally was watching birth stories on youtube. It sounds voyeuristic and I hated that about it but people choose to share their experiences and having a real impression of different ways of giving birth made a huge difference to me.
3) Surround yourself with all the positive birth stories. I found that people were always happy to share horror stories and almost no one ever spoke about the actual birthing experience in positive terms.
4) See if you can get in contact with people in your area who have experienced home births, e.g. midwives, doulas, mothers and see if how they describe their experiences resonated with you.
4) Some books that helped me:
Childbirth without fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
6) Some courses that helped me:
Hypnobabies
The Thompson Method
7) I would also highly recommend Spinning Babies, which provides a much more anatomical education on babies in the womb, the positions they lay in and how impacts birth and labour, different movements that you can do to support their descent through the pelvis, how to move and rest and exercise during pregnancy.
Everything there came at birth from the angle of "how do we enable and empower women to have the birthing experience that they dream of," which is why all of it spoke to me.
That said, I am a worrier and a thinker at heart so this level of education is just what I needed to not only feel comfortable with my decision but to feel like I understood where and how and when I could influence my own labour, if that makes sense.
I know a lot of people would find it overwhelming instead so if that's you I say: So so so much of this happens naturally and instinctively. Women have been giving birth for millennia without a million courses - although they had much tighter knit communities in the past too, where you could learn from other mothers. Either way the foundation is believing in your body, in yourself, in nature and trusting that it will guide you through. Get yourself a support system and listen to your body and the rest will happen as it should.
I hope that helps in some way! Good luck on starting a family and I wish you the happiest future birth possible.
Thank you for your advice and blessings! Spinning Babies sounds like a book I should find. The name is also amusing because spinning can mean adjusting position, or to spin yarn and the "thread of life" from Greek mythology.
Hi Magan, I wasn't the original person you responded to, but I thought I would chime in to your inquiry because to me, these are important questions to ask!
I would urge you to question everything that you hear that seems to pathologize women's bodies (and your babies') while exercising the evolutionary biological function of growing, birthing and raising a babies and children. As someone who chose to birth entirely outside of the medical system, my perception of what most people commonly refer to as "home births", which are generally attended by licensed midwives, while I understand why it is done, the reality of modern midwifery is often, in practice, to bring the faulty Western medical paradigm and practice into one's home, and merely paints the illusion of freedom and bodily autonomy. This is what many people want, and that's okay, but just like all of the modern matrix that society accepts as normal, there are significant costs that often go un-evaluated and unrecognized. If you are interested in a home birth attended by a licensed midwife, I would look into resources on "natural childbirth" and hunt for midwives in your area, perhaps hire a doula. If you are more interested in a pregnancy and/or birth outside the medical system, I highly recommend the Free Birth Society. They can be found on instagram, but they have a Complete Guide to Free Birth that I personally found invaluable and I think every birthing woman would benefit from, regardless of whether or not she intends to birth on her own or not. I was a doula for years prior to becoming a mother myself, and I have so many other resources that I have found helpful for clients and myself and always happy to share what I've learned! <3
Thank you for your advice! I have "A hunter gatherer's guide to the 21st century" by Bret Weinstein and Heather Heying, so I have a good guide for how to think similarly to an evolutionary biologist.
Congratulations ❤️ she looks perfect ⚘️
Planning my own first freebirth, living on a farm with my parents in the next house, it was so nice reading your thoughts on it as I know they also will have their worries. I might have them read your words, hoping it would help. Thanks for sharing, happy for you and your family ❤️
Congratulations, Inga! I think it's quite normal for parents of my generation and older to have these worries given what we have been told. I just hope for consideration and openness in your case and in many others. I think the worst thing we can do as humans is lay our fears and lack f knowledge on others. That's not fair. Self-reflection is uncomfortable as hell, but how do we grow without? So much love to you as you enter into this new chapter of your life.
Such a beautiful story ♥️ a free birth, with you as a witness, as it should be !
I also freebirthed my second daughter 9 months ago, and reading powerful birth stories brings all those beautiful memories back. I would do it again tomorrow, and again and again.
Blessings to your family
Thank you, Charline and congratulations to you and your family. What way to start a life. ❤️
Congrats! Glad to hear your daughter follows the path taken by millions of powerful women before her! Our son is now 27 birthed at home, all 10 lbs of him, as our horrified community whispered at the post office and grocery store.
Your daughter knows her strength and there is no turning back.
Welcome to this beautiful earth little one. Be blessed Above Down Inside Out!
Wonderful, Robin! I am so awed by you and grossed out by the smallness of whispering gossipers. Some people prefer the cave to the sunbeams. Not much to see there.
Thank you for your kindness. We are overjoyed. ❤️
Congratulations! I too have been navigating the world of taking back our womanly power in birth. If I have a third baby I will most likely travel far away so that I may have the birth that I want and was not allowed (by who??) to have where I currently live with my first two. I love birth stories and am so happy to hear that your beautiful granddaughter came into this world as your daughter wanted! Sending love to you all ❤️❤️
Isn't that telling - "allowed to". We are so far off the tracks we don't even recognize the map anymore. Thank you for your kind words, Becky. ❤️
All the research I did 18 years ago is what led to my two homebirths… I’m amazed the hospital model has still not changed much and the cascading interventions for “ safety” ( theirs, not yours) is still ongoing… congratz to the new family!😊 enjoy your Babymoon!!
Beautiful, Sheila. That's the way to do it! Thank you for your kind words💕💕
Congratulations to baby for arriving here! And to mom and dad and all the rest of you on the delight of having another soul in your family! I especially appreciated your paragraph on worry feeling like a responsibility to share... that is something i’ve struggled with... wanting to warn others of what i fear when they have no such fear themself. Thank you for giving me something to chew on to help me work on that aspect of myself.
Thank you for your kind words and your willing self reflection. This is something I've tried to pay close attention to as well. Mostly, I have felt quite manipulated in my life by the overbearing worry of some people close to me. I've noticed that putting my worry on someone is mostly met with a wedge of resistance. I think it used to make me feel better to share it (as if worry has some magic of protection in it), but it didn't make the other person feel better to accept it. My daughters say, "Don't put that energy on me, I don't believe that." They're right.
More and more I think worry is just stewing in negative energy creation. It still takes muscle and conscious will not to fall into it, but I'm pretty good at catching myself in that whirlpool now. I can make a conscious decision to get out and negate that way of being by instead evoking the vision and feelings of the opposite. I see and feel and smell and hold the goodness of the situation instead of the possible horrors. I don't know if that sounds woo-woo, but it quite literally changed my life over time. I can also erase others imposed worries on me by doing the same.
❤️
Congratulations! What a beautiful moment and beginning you just described.
I had my first as you described your births, "natural" I now know was a lied. In bed, pushing on command, the end I still held my beautiful babe, but knew it should be different. My second I sought a midwife, but she practiced at the hospital. Better by far, but still not what I had dreamed. But it was the only way, right?
Almost a decade later, my 30s drawing to a close, we were shocked to discover I was expecting. I knew so much more, like you said, that piece finally picked up and examined. 18 months ago I had a home birth and it was unlike anything I could have dreamed. Even more amazing is she would have been a section at the hospital, failure to progress, wrong presentation. Turns out that's her.....that day I knew what we were in for with this one and she has spend 18 months showing us her untamed, unadulterated, nourished and free self.
I wish the world could know the options one has! All must be examined.
She is so beautiful, congrats again Grandma!
Congratulations, Anna! What a gorgeous story! All those pieces, the markers of western medicine that determine interventions are necessary, were so ingrained in my brain as just a 'given truth'. Of course! Of course you intervene when those presentations manifest! Of course interventions are life saving. Wow, it's amazing to start reading and learning what intervention begets another right from the starting point of being in a hospital. We already go into birth conditioned to relinquish and accept.
I am thrilled for you that your last experience was a reclamation and a celebration. What a joyous, powerful way to start a new life! ❤️
There is something about becoming a Grandmother/Grandfather that I think closes some deeply luscious, human spirit and God woven loop. I myself am only 26 but every time I hear Grandparents talk about their grand babies there is this really divine sparkle that just speaks from something so much deeper.. That’s how I know it’s true 💕 Congratulations Tara to your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing your joy
I think you're right, Lauren. It does feel like the closing of a divine loop of sorts. Life goes on. Miraculous ❤️ Thank you for sharing in our joy.
Congratulations!!!
Welcome to the most amazing and perfect wonder of the world- Grandparenting!!!
What a beautiful and joy filled post this is!
Thank you for allowing us to experience the magnificence of your experience joining your daughter in free birth. Thank you for the pictures of the new baby and her grandparents. Your faces say everything all at once!! And she...she with all her hair and her rosy cheeks - and all the inherited love and wisdom - SHE shall be a force to be reckoned with!!! What a delight!!
Sending you so so much love Tara, as you enter into one of the most beautiful, exciting and important journeys. Hello Grandma!! 🥰
Thank you so much, Jeanie. It feels like the best club I've ever joined!🙂 I do believe you're right about her being a force. So much love and what a kickstart in life.
Now, how to get across borders with ease? So much to examine in this new world. 💕
This is one of the most powerful, important essays on being a parent that I've ever read. Just, thank you. What a gift you are giving to your daughter and your grandchild. So many blessings to you all!
Thank you so much, Dana. That is so kind. Blessings to you. ❤️
A world of congratulations to all the new “people”...parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins perhaps, all created by the arrival of this amazingly fantastical beautiful creature! Tara, she is beyond gorgeous! Your joy and pride shines like the brightest sunbeam. I can’t imagine how you have the strength to now walk away, and greatly admire your acceptance of that need. You shall have endless hours to love and dote on her as Grammy Tara! Thank you for sharing this magical, miraculous moment through your beautiful words and photos.
Aside from my joy in seeing and hearing of your granddaughter’s arrival, I have to say how —once again— you have crafted the perfect mix of words to describe a life process: “...I just noticed a hiccup in the engine one day, long ago, and had to open the hood. One thing led to another and next thing I knew, there were parts all over the ground at my feet waiting for my attention...” Such a great analogy for something I wish more folks could experience, in order to open their minds and hearts to true living. But I guess it just takes something/someone special to notice that first hiccup. I’m happy you noticed.
What a perfect Thanksgiving Holiday!!!!
Thank you so much, Diane, for being so wholeheartedly and generously exuberant with us. Isn't it something to look at a newborn baby and think that only hours earlier they were known to only God and suddenly, they're here, in the flesh, part of this world and your heart for all eternity. It can really break you to smithereens if you really let it in. Life is just miraculous.
And thank you, too, for the kind words about my analogy. So many parts at my feet patiently waiting. The more I look the more they seem to sprout offspring. 😉❤️
I'm unapologetically crying. A girl!! What an absolute blessing!! From the deepest part of my heart congratulations to you and to your family. She is such a gift! And how blessed is that sweet girl to be born into such a loving and passionate family❤️ I'm sending teary cheek hugs.
When we taste the bitter in life, the sweet is that much sweeter ❤️
Ughhh Gushhhhhhh ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, Rachel. Thank you for that big heart and those sweet tears. We are smitten. What a little marvel she is.❤️❤️❤️
Wow! Congrats Tara to you & your wonderful family! Thank you for bringing me to tears of joy and love today.. along with all of your readers! The truth and wonder of a mother witnessed in her birthing power is healing and inspiring for everyone. I have only just learned about 'free births' over the past year while getting to know a whole new community of freedom-loving people in my homeschool network. It's revelatory. These empowered mamas are seeding a whole new paradigm for the generations to come and I'm so grateful.
I appreciate how your writing touches these deeper considerations around our sovereignty. Though I had both my boys 'naturally' in hospital (a decade ago), I didn't trust myself enough to 'break the law' and have a home birth- (here in PEI, midwifery is still in the process of being legislated). The biggest 'aha' for me though, is how fear has been used to control us in so many areas of life, but especially motherhood- because for most (if not all) of us- it's the nearest and dearest role we play. With each free birth I learn about, I rejoice in the power of women reclaiming our choices, our health, our freedom, our love & our sacred moments.
Bask in the luminous wonder of your beautiful grandchild and your glowing powerful daughter! Love Love Love!
Thank you for your thoughtful and generous comment, Emily. I am so enjoying reading about other women's stories of birth and how so many of us are realizing what has been lost in following the rules or trying to please others or, as is mostly the case, just being unaware and truly wanting to do what we've been told is best for our children.
I admit that when I was first introduced to the idea, I thought it a little irresponsible. I started to read and listen and a whole new way of thinking opened up. It's satisfying to hear that you find the thread of sovereignty throughout my writing. It seems to me that the more I untangle, the more I learn, the more I come to understand how dangerous sovereignty is becoming to the goals of the establishment. Conformity and obedience to systems and guidelines are held up as virtues. And yet, I don't see much hope or joy or connection to meaning in those words.
I'm with you - I rejoice as women reclaim the beauty and expansion of birth as they so choose to do. We are a people awakening. From our food to our lifestyles to the raising and educating of our children to our freeing ourselves from the indoctrination into all facets of machine-life, things are happening. It's worthy of rejoicing indeed. ❤️❤️