I imagine a whole lotta people will relate to this essay…I sure do…before i share my connection, I just want to say that the most beautiful image came up for me when you shared how you now care for your mitochondria, it seems much like you care for animals…the covenant you speak of to give them the best possible experience. This conveyance of the covenant to your body is so beautiful and sacred, it is application of your wisdom to your most precious asset and by living in this truth makes it accessible to the many. At least for me, There is much strength in the notion “if she can do it, why not me”.
Rather than lyme, my journey to a full on system collapse was 42 years in the making. Starting at 12 I would wake up w shooting abdominal pains, which 8 years later my gall bladder removed…pains away…another 8 years until i was in the same situation, more abdominal pains, until i was jaundic and figured out a blocked common duct…another 10 years gestattional diabetes, at 42 full on type 1 diabetes, w a side of RA…interestingly enough A Friend sent me a ted talk by terry wahls…mitochondria and i found my way to a functional doctor who flipped my diet and nutrition around…my body healed, it took about a year…it culminated in the pregnancy at 44, ha! My son is 8 and continue to
I never thought of it that way, Trish. The caring for my health in the way I care for my animals. I absolutely love that image. I will keep that with me. Thank you for finding the common thread of that covenant for me. What a lovely gift to receive this fine Saturday morning.
And you are a testament to the resilience and miracle of the human body. My word! And now you have a beautiful son even after all of the challenges you've overcome. I'm in awe of your determination and your desire to claim a better quality of life for yourself and now, would you look at that, this young man that's here because of you. What thing. xo
I love the connection of a covenant with our body, that’s beautiful and a great mindset, esp when having to deal with a chronic illness. I will take that revelation for my own, bless you!!!
Hi Emily- i just re-read the entry and can see how that could be confusing. What i meant was all the symptoms i experienced as a result of a body completely out of whack w an autoimmune storm forming subsided. With the RA I was having trouble doing daily basics like walking, opening bottlea lkkw toothpast, water bottlea, brushing hair without pain….my understanding was that the inner lining of my intestinal tract was leaky and triggering autoimmune symptoms…once the irritating foods were removed my symptoms started subsiding..my joints were still achy but i could feel a difference…the type 1 diabetew is still w me, thats a family that doesnt let you leave, lol!! But i use a protocol way different from mainstream and it really helps to get my good numbers and the nutrition is in alignment with what healed my gut, so its all connected…homesteading supports even more!!
Phew- every time you write an essay, it seems to be exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. In my early twenties, I was a regular wine drinker. I knew I needed to get a grip when I started to impose rules on usage. (Only on date nights, only at weddings, only one, only at dinner parties) The idea of total abstinence was too scary. But then I learned about alcohols mechanism of action on the body and mind, and the craving cycle it creates. Removing it entirely made me realize how it is not at all worth the poor sleep, foggy brain, sore joints that even one glass of high quality, organic wine gave me.
Lately I’ve found myself building rules around usage of social media and treats. I know I use these things when I need a dopamine hit. A baby crying at my feet while I try to cobble together breakfast, screaming and fighting from the other two, someone asking me a question, while the dog whines to be let out, my ever growing to-do list squishing me under its fist, and before I know it I am soothing myself with a piece of dark chocolate. I sit down to check my E-mail and the next thing I know, I’ve squandered 30 minutes looking through an friend’s-second-cousins vacation pictures to France and then investigating what her younger brother died from and googling his obituary, then spending another twenty minutes or so reading up on ewing's sarcoma. I fall down pointless rabbit-holes and endless scrolling to distract myself from the overwhelming reality of the moment. Every attempt at moderation has failed. A cycle of craving that feels familiar.
For Lent, I was planning to stay off all social media and curb my sugar usage ( brain says i t’s only dates with a little butter! It’s just honey in my coffee! Why deny yourself?) The human mind is so very interesting. The concessions we make, the way we delude ourselves. I do not need to wait for Lent to begin. Thank you so much for your wisdom and perspective, as always.
You know, writing here is such a gift for me. Oftentimes, though, I feel quite vulnerable, too. If I were to write in a book or on another publication, a bit of a buffer gets naturally built in. There's not really any communication or sharing in the comments afterwards. It feels less exposing somehow. But then, I would miss out on comments like yours (and so many others here). Where my openness is met with yours. Where we can be real humans sharing real things that are often, even in real life, too hard or uncomfortable to bring up. Or maybe the friend we love to hang out with just doesn't get it. Or maybe our family members think we're "too rigid" or a little nutty or whatever.
Thank you for sharing your story, too, Acacia. It is so similar to mine in many ways. When my kids were small and each demanding something from me I, too, went for the dates and butter (hello date and butter gal). Or I would get some dark chocolate and tea while they were in school and go sit in a park reading or staring off into space for a spell. But, almost always, those quiet, rare, special moments were accompanied by a little "treat".
I think by most people's standards, your organic wine drinking is nothing. You're not sleeping in a ditch right?! But it's, as you said, the foggy brain and poor sleep and sore joints even from one glass. And are those things nothing? Is detrimentally affecting the quality of our lives just a small matter? Maybe there's just not enough people understanding what a healthy, clear minded, strong body even feels like anymore. Maybe it's hard to tease out the difference when your whole life is eating inflammatory foods and living in a toxic soup.
Whatever the reason, I am grateful for these conversations. For being able to dig into the things that don't serve us, that, in fact, pull us further from ourselves and from a peace that is ours when we live in alignment with the biology of our bodies. That peace that allows us to connect to live deeply and profoundly. I understand why monks, various religions, and other spiritual teachers advocate for fasting as a way to connect with spirit. It clears away what we think is ours so that we can be introduced to our authentic selves and the place we hold in Creation. Hard to forget what that feels like when you experience it even once. I don't want to be a monk. I just want to be the Tara God intended me to be.
Thank you for being part of this conversation. It really fills me with such gratitude and admiration for the courage and openness being expressed here.
THIS! Wow. I felt this one. When I read your essays I somehow feel as if you are talking about me. Ha ha. Funny how that works, right? I have always, still do, had an addiction to sugar. The sugary cereal in the morning before school, sugary drinks, chocolate brownies after school lunch, and more deserts. Not to mention all the sweets during pregnancy. Oddly, no one ever mentioned how bad it was or to slow down. It was like normal?! The part about how dangerous sugar is, that part I learned on my own. Still learning. I do have to abstain from treats. None in our house. I never understood how people could have candies and cookies and moderate that. It would be gone in a day in my house! But, boy how much better I feel. It is a constant struggle, but I pray about it and work on it everyday. Teaching my kids about the dangers of sugar as well. So much to undo and navigate around everyday, but I am so blessed for the knowledge and faith I have. Thank you, as always for a wonderful essay this morning! This one spoke to me ❤️
I'm glad my essays come across that way. I try to always write like I would have a conversation. Not exactly, but with that feeling inside of me. It's so nice to know that it feels like it's meant for you because in many ways it is.
You know, I was just learning about the generational thread in addictions and behaviours. It's a topic I find fascinating. We just assume that people do things because of the physical connections to substances or behaviours as they're growing up, but there's evidence of babies in the womb already formulating and wiring their brains based on the chemicals coming in from their mothers. And food is just another chemical that releases chemicals in our brains and bodies. But it's even beyond that in many ways. The things we can't measure.
I agree with you Tara and the evidence of babies already wiring their brains in the womb. I have a child I ate healthier with and less sugar and he is healthier than my other child that I just binged on sugar and eat whatever I wanted and she has sugar addiction problem too. I have thought about this topic a lot 
Ooh that would be an amazing topic - generational thread in addictions and behaviors! Makes sense. There are so many consequences of our actions (good and bad) that we do not always see. I need to look into this one! It is ironic that when I was pregnant with my first, I ate sooo much sugar. Way too much, but he does not really like it. Not sure if that is more situational, meaning he understands why it is so bad for you. My other two would eat it all day if I would allow it. When pregnant with them I did not crave sugar as much with them. Ah! How I wish I knew about proper nutrition when pregnant with them all, but now I can teach others this knowledge. ❤️
I have spent the last week diving into your Q&A and T&T, then to be gifted this essay this morning. It is like you have been speaking directly to my soul. So thank you for your honesty, your knowledge, your desire and passion, and your time. There is so much I could say to you, I fall into the age category as your daughters, I was raised eating what we could grow and harvest ourselves, your essays have given me a deeper understand of the traditions given to me from my mom. Oh if I had of made the connection of the woman I followed on Instagram and the man I worked along side in a small ER sooner! He spoke of your year from the farm the last shift I worked with him before I went off again and the light bulb went off, I would have loved to pick his brain on a slow night shift! I will now spend the next week diving deep into the resources you have provided, so thank you! And a big Thank you to Troy for making everything more easily accessed!
Since the passing of my older brother, my Mom has also been greeted by ravens. Even almost a decade later they still keep her company. Amazing!
Sarah, thank you. And thank you for such kind words. It's so nice to hear that something, anything I share finds its way into receiving hearts. These comments are my only proof I have that what I put out there doesn't land into an abyss of nothingness.
Those could have been some wonderful conversations indeed. He doesn't get much of that. Work, I think you know, in such fields can be isolating for the different thinkers. Best to zip it and get on with it.
I love that the ravens visit your mama, too. I've always felt like they dance along the veil of life and death, crossing over with ease to bring us something out of our reach.
Dear Troy ... sending you fragrant & honeyed blessings from the heart of my hive & from my heart ... on ribbons & rays of sunshine, across the seas & earth & air between us for all the “behind the scenes” acts of love & service that you do to embellish the writing that Tara does here. THANKYOU ✨🐝✨
I have some autoimmune stuff going on, and I spent more time than I'd like to admit in the bargaining stage of grief, coming to terms with the fact that I'd need to permanently kiss some foods goodbye. It's kind of wild to even use the word "grief" in relation to missing foods, but in a culture where food science hijacks taste buds and brains, that's how I felt.
Now that I'm on the other side of my diet shift, one of my conditions is in remission and my second condition is improving. So many lessons have been tangled up in my health challenges, and knowing how to listen to and fuel my body feels like a super power.
Like most people here, I'm also in a place where a wellness-promoting environment is not the default. Thank you for being a lighthouse for those who want to do better, but don't always know how ❤ Hearing your experience has been invaluable.
Thank you so much, Kristen. It's been truly wonderful for me to hear from other people as well. I'm so glad you found yourself to the other side of your diet and now your health has improved and continues to do so. It's such a joyful story, delivered only by letting go of the idea of what we should be able to handle and accepting what is. It's very hopeful. I know many people will read this and it will open up their hearts and minds to what's possible, too.
I relate to the barging stage of grief & pain of deprivation piece of this so much - organic whole meal rye & spelt sourdough, cheese & some fruits & baked goods were this for me - so tied with cherished childhood memories & nostalgia & the sheer pleasure of eating delicious food.
Another wise, potent truth bomb Tara - Thankyou ✨💕✨... I’m committed to doing a series of Spiritual Fasts this year ( blessings & thankyou to the glorious John Mark Comer of Practicing the Way + Rule of Life & Live No Lies podcasts ... I can HIGHLY recommend him for all the followers / apprentices of Jesus here )
I have just ordered the fasting books 📚- I love that synchronicity!
I expect that Mitochondrial health will take centre stage in the years to come ( it’s been rumbling in the background of the Naturopathic community for around 7 years now ) because we are all under such assault in the world we have co created now. And anyone who chose or was coerced into receiving the evil brew of the last 3 years is going to be in dire straits at this level in the years to come.
I relate to the addiction piece so much Tara ... I can go months, years even on a Keto + Paleo + WAP nutrition lifestyle and the minute that I have any kind of refined carb BOOM I’m like a crack head jonesing. I struggle hard with the desire / craving for sweet foods ... even when I totally abstain it’s still there in the background like a little psycho maniac “you should be able to have some [insert healthy low GI fruit or honey or dates ] every now & then if you had self discipline” it’s so insidious. And our culture as a whole is just a society of addicts hiding in plain sight - so there is no support there ... because everyone of us who choose abstinence call them out by default and they hate that. Every time I choose to eat something that gives me a glucose spike I regret the after effects ... and yet I still occasionally get hooked in .. gahhhh 😩🤯🤦🏻♀️ ... my intent with the spiritual fasting practices is to deeply unravel the core emotional drivers & re-pattern my neurological pathways out of addictive control & fixing ... a year of renewal & restorative health & vitality work.
Sounds like we move on similar paths, Sam. It's been so affirming to hear from so many people that, like me, are not satisfied with the status quo of whatever our society tells us is okay and normal. So many people say to me, "But Tara, you eat better than anyone I know. What can a little ice cream or (insert food here) hurt?" But I don't feel comforted by that. I am comforted by the clarity of my mind and the vibrancy and resonance in my body, and the quality of love and connection in my life. Can a few dates or a raw milk latté with a spoon of honey in it disrupt those things? Yes, it can. It does. It calls forward cravings and struggles I can be free of and puts me back into a place of struggle where the things I want to be consumed by are interrupted by distractions.
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will check it out. I am always grateful for a podcast suggestion, too. Thank you.
I agree, I think there's been a lot of stuff on our mitochondria over the last while and now, it seems to me at least, they are starting to converge and overlap. Exactly what's needed. Maybe one day we might even start realizing we're one whole being, not a kidney or a heart or a pancreas. Ahhh... a girl can dream.
Something you said in a past essay, or maybe an AMA, really resonated with me on my healing journey. I forget the words, but remember the feeling.
I’ve been inflamed for most of my life - not knowing what it was or why it was - and it morphed and grew along with me. From IV antibiotics at birth because they assumed dehydration was sepsis, to soy formula and antibiotics for most of a decade, to the safety and comfort of sugar and refined carbs in an otherwise unnutured life... I’ve been at this in earnest for twenty years now and at the end of last summer, my body sent me an entirely new signal. A scream followed by a collapse.
So I cut out the last things I thought “should” be safe and I stopped trying to find a “treat” that wasn’t “so bad.” All the sugar had been gone a decade and the toe-dips into honey or agave had been gone for three years, but I still wanted fruit to come back to me, gone two years.
I’ve let it go.
But like you’ve written here, it’s not gone from wanting. There is still the “just a taste, it’s been months and you feel great, you won’t get taken down too hard...”
And after a month away from home, having to hone my boundaries in others’ kitchens with different stores, I decided to celebrate at a restaurant I’d “successfully” fallen off the wagon at in the last few years.
And the next afternoon, I couldn’t open my eyes. A migraine like none other in my life took me into a place I’d never been.
So, like you’ve also mentioned here, the well-meaning offers from those that love us, are not the love we need, and I’ll skip that sort of celebration next time, with my nourishment of mind, body, and spirit all looking delectable on my plate at the table.
It’s like the stages they say apply to grief, and knowing they won’t be stable or linear, this stage of acceptance feels more full of love and kindness and care and respect than any bargaining or denial I lived for years before.
Thank you for so beautifully and eloquently sharing your story as part of the tale of so many of our stories, Alli. You so honestly express both the struggle and the beautiful freedom and peace away from the false stories that these things, whatever they are, promise to fill in us. Lies. They never fill and only block what really does.
You're right, it ebbs and flows, this facing what must be faced. It's hard and that's why most people would rather not think about. Would rather just ignore it. It doesn't work, it comes out in every other pinhole weakness, but it serves in the short term.
"... with my nourishment of mind, body, and spirit all looking delectable on my plate at the table." Yes, good woman! Yes!
Thank you to behind-the-scenes but front of the pack TROY! Bless you both for your offerings to this community! Hugs from Texas coast- sending salty breezes of life giving blessings your way.
Another great essay, thank you Tara. And thanks for all the resources and all the other little tidbits.
I especially relate to the part about abstaining and moderating. I too have to be an abstainer… The cycle of moderation is a killer as you state. It’s never worked for me. Ever.
Sugar, tobacco, you name it... what a story we tell ourselves in those moments about what we can handle, why it’s not such a big deal and how “everything in moderation” is a guiding universal truth to which we should all aspire. If only...
freedom only comes for me from abstaining, and having discipline. Jocko Willink is right, discipline is freedom. If I focus on nothing else each day, that is enough, to have and maintain the discipline to do the things I know bring me joy and make me feel good about myself.
Amen on abstaining. It has taken me so long to figure out that climbing up on the wagon over and over and over again is exhausting and horrible. Why don't I just stay on the wagon?? Wow!
Yes, it's the drip, drip, drip water torture that keeps us gritting our teeth with willpower. Freedom is in not even thinking about it and that comes from abstinence over time.
Same with other ppl thankfullness here!! ( just nor able to expres my emotions properly due to language barrier🤷🏻♀️).
And the resources are “bless you or curse you”!!! - my must listen/read list growing with each essay:)
One question Tara -can you recommend the reliaable resource on high fat impact to cardiovascular system? Every time when I talk to somebody about how I fell good on low carb and how carbs were bad as inducing anger, anxiety, people as “doesnt fat clogs arteries”? Some more advanced poiting to Ray Peat statement about fat as a fuel being big streess and inflamation to the body... Palmers theory about brain energy and mitochondria sounds very relaable, still he is talking about critically ill ppl, which choose keto vs debilitating symptoms...
As far as Chris Palmer talking about critically ill people, he's not. That's the beauty of this information, it's relevant to every single one of us, just to different degrees depending on the damage done, and to the degree, to our mitochondria. So, while someone may present as bipolar or schizophrenic, another may be depressed and inflamed or lethargic with low energy. It's still a dysfunction of the mitochondria.
As far as fat clogging arteries, I don't even think most mainstream doctors say that much anymore. At least not any that have read a science journal in the last few years. As a little anecdotal tidbit, we've been eating this way for a few decades this way - high fat, no grains, high protein. Our cholesterol levels are "stellar". Ray Peat's statements on burning fat as fuel as being a stress and inflammatory are quire paradoxical given the inflammation that is caused from relying on glucose for energy. Still, if people want to do it, that's up to them. For me, I am free of inflammation only when I am free of sugar.
Loved reading this on an early Sunday morning in Australia as Bill Gates is entertained by our prime minister Albo an Aussie version of Joe Biden. Bill is here to help with a new mosquito plague apparently.
But addiction is the theme here and I have always felt slightly superior that I never desired cakes, chocolates or dessert, tending towards savory items.... until after being zero carb but still enjoying the odd gin and tonic with my husband when he came home from work...one day my brain was wrestling with me trying to justify having a g 'n' t before he came home! I then realised that my carbs were coming from the tonic and the alcohol...I stopped being holier than though because since I gave up the alcohol I'm craving lots of hidden carbs... like in my raw milk or a bit of honey or maple syrup.... aaarggh it's so insidious! It's not easy to get off the sugar train.
Thank you Tara for such a great essay this morning very thought provoking and what a wonderful gathering of thoughtful comments as well! 🥰🙏
Ole' Billy got them to release those GE mosquitos in Florida last year. What will become of us, TeeCee. I do not know. I saw some maniacal NZ (I think???) talking about rounding up unvaccinated people next year. Are they seriously still on this schtick?
Oh yes! It is insidious! Last fall I got on a warmed raw milk with some ground vanilla in it kick. It was quite lovely. I drank one every now and then. Then I drank one almost every day. Then I really, really wanted to drink one and thought of it and when I could drink it. It was raw milk and vanilla bean for Heaven's sake! So I stopped. And it felt like another full on withdrawal. I know not everyone is as sensitive as me, but I think more people are than they realize.
By the way, with the cravings, I find taking Berberine and chromium picolinate for a little bit (few weeks maybe) really helps. Gets your blood sugars back in line.
Thanks so much for sharing your story here, too. I think it's so helpful for us all to share how these things affect us even when we are eating healthy diets and how much better we feel without them.
And many blessings & love to all who share here in the comments - it’s so nourishing & heart-warming / fortifying to be among so many kindred spirits ✨🤩✨
I imagine a whole lotta people will relate to this essay…I sure do…before i share my connection, I just want to say that the most beautiful image came up for me when you shared how you now care for your mitochondria, it seems much like you care for animals…the covenant you speak of to give them the best possible experience. This conveyance of the covenant to your body is so beautiful and sacred, it is application of your wisdom to your most precious asset and by living in this truth makes it accessible to the many. At least for me, There is much strength in the notion “if she can do it, why not me”.
Rather than lyme, my journey to a full on system collapse was 42 years in the making. Starting at 12 I would wake up w shooting abdominal pains, which 8 years later my gall bladder removed…pains away…another 8 years until i was in the same situation, more abdominal pains, until i was jaundic and figured out a blocked common duct…another 10 years gestattional diabetes, at 42 full on type 1 diabetes, w a side of RA…interestingly enough A Friend sent me a ted talk by terry wahls…mitochondria and i found my way to a functional doctor who flipped my diet and nutrition around…my body healed, it took about a year…it culminated in the pregnancy at 44, ha! My son is 8 and continue to
I never thought of it that way, Trish. The caring for my health in the way I care for my animals. I absolutely love that image. I will keep that with me. Thank you for finding the common thread of that covenant for me. What a lovely gift to receive this fine Saturday morning.
And you are a testament to the resilience and miracle of the human body. My word! And now you have a beautiful son even after all of the challenges you've overcome. I'm in awe of your determination and your desire to claim a better quality of life for yourself and now, would you look at that, this young man that's here because of you. What thing. xo
I love the connection of a covenant with our body, that’s beautiful and a great mindset, esp when having to deal with a chronic illness. I will take that revelation for my own, bless you!!!
Trish, am I reading correctly that you healed yourself from Type 1 Diabetes?
Hi Emily- i just re-read the entry and can see how that could be confusing. What i meant was all the symptoms i experienced as a result of a body completely out of whack w an autoimmune storm forming subsided. With the RA I was having trouble doing daily basics like walking, opening bottlea lkkw toothpast, water bottlea, brushing hair without pain….my understanding was that the inner lining of my intestinal tract was leaky and triggering autoimmune symptoms…once the irritating foods were removed my symptoms started subsiding..my joints were still achy but i could feel a difference…the type 1 diabetew is still w me, thats a family that doesnt let you leave, lol!! But i use a protocol way different from mainstream and it really helps to get my good numbers and the nutrition is in alignment with what healed my gut, so its all connected…homesteading supports even more!!
Phew- every time you write an essay, it seems to be exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. In my early twenties, I was a regular wine drinker. I knew I needed to get a grip when I started to impose rules on usage. (Only on date nights, only at weddings, only one, only at dinner parties) The idea of total abstinence was too scary. But then I learned about alcohols mechanism of action on the body and mind, and the craving cycle it creates. Removing it entirely made me realize how it is not at all worth the poor sleep, foggy brain, sore joints that even one glass of high quality, organic wine gave me.
Lately I’ve found myself building rules around usage of social media and treats. I know I use these things when I need a dopamine hit. A baby crying at my feet while I try to cobble together breakfast, screaming and fighting from the other two, someone asking me a question, while the dog whines to be let out, my ever growing to-do list squishing me under its fist, and before I know it I am soothing myself with a piece of dark chocolate. I sit down to check my E-mail and the next thing I know, I’ve squandered 30 minutes looking through an friend’s-second-cousins vacation pictures to France and then investigating what her younger brother died from and googling his obituary, then spending another twenty minutes or so reading up on ewing's sarcoma. I fall down pointless rabbit-holes and endless scrolling to distract myself from the overwhelming reality of the moment. Every attempt at moderation has failed. A cycle of craving that feels familiar.
For Lent, I was planning to stay off all social media and curb my sugar usage ( brain says i t’s only dates with a little butter! It’s just honey in my coffee! Why deny yourself?) The human mind is so very interesting. The concessions we make, the way we delude ourselves. I do not need to wait for Lent to begin. Thank you so much for your wisdom and perspective, as always.
You know, writing here is such a gift for me. Oftentimes, though, I feel quite vulnerable, too. If I were to write in a book or on another publication, a bit of a buffer gets naturally built in. There's not really any communication or sharing in the comments afterwards. It feels less exposing somehow. But then, I would miss out on comments like yours (and so many others here). Where my openness is met with yours. Where we can be real humans sharing real things that are often, even in real life, too hard or uncomfortable to bring up. Or maybe the friend we love to hang out with just doesn't get it. Or maybe our family members think we're "too rigid" or a little nutty or whatever.
Thank you for sharing your story, too, Acacia. It is so similar to mine in many ways. When my kids were small and each demanding something from me I, too, went for the dates and butter (hello date and butter gal). Or I would get some dark chocolate and tea while they were in school and go sit in a park reading or staring off into space for a spell. But, almost always, those quiet, rare, special moments were accompanied by a little "treat".
I think by most people's standards, your organic wine drinking is nothing. You're not sleeping in a ditch right?! But it's, as you said, the foggy brain and poor sleep and sore joints even from one glass. And are those things nothing? Is detrimentally affecting the quality of our lives just a small matter? Maybe there's just not enough people understanding what a healthy, clear minded, strong body even feels like anymore. Maybe it's hard to tease out the difference when your whole life is eating inflammatory foods and living in a toxic soup.
Whatever the reason, I am grateful for these conversations. For being able to dig into the things that don't serve us, that, in fact, pull us further from ourselves and from a peace that is ours when we live in alignment with the biology of our bodies. That peace that allows us to connect to live deeply and profoundly. I understand why monks, various religions, and other spiritual teachers advocate for fasting as a way to connect with spirit. It clears away what we think is ours so that we can be introduced to our authentic selves and the place we hold in Creation. Hard to forget what that feels like when you experience it even once. I don't want to be a monk. I just want to be the Tara God intended me to be.
Thank you for being part of this conversation. It really fills me with such gratitude and admiration for the courage and openness being expressed here.
xo
THIS! Wow. I felt this one. When I read your essays I somehow feel as if you are talking about me. Ha ha. Funny how that works, right? I have always, still do, had an addiction to sugar. The sugary cereal in the morning before school, sugary drinks, chocolate brownies after school lunch, and more deserts. Not to mention all the sweets during pregnancy. Oddly, no one ever mentioned how bad it was or to slow down. It was like normal?! The part about how dangerous sugar is, that part I learned on my own. Still learning. I do have to abstain from treats. None in our house. I never understood how people could have candies and cookies and moderate that. It would be gone in a day in my house! But, boy how much better I feel. It is a constant struggle, but I pray about it and work on it everyday. Teaching my kids about the dangers of sugar as well. So much to undo and navigate around everyday, but I am so blessed for the knowledge and faith I have. Thank you, as always for a wonderful essay this morning! This one spoke to me ❤️
I'm glad my essays come across that way. I try to always write like I would have a conversation. Not exactly, but with that feeling inside of me. It's so nice to know that it feels like it's meant for you because in many ways it is.
You know, I was just learning about the generational thread in addictions and behaviours. It's a topic I find fascinating. We just assume that people do things because of the physical connections to substances or behaviours as they're growing up, but there's evidence of babies in the womb already formulating and wiring their brains based on the chemicals coming in from their mothers. And food is just another chemical that releases chemicals in our brains and bodies. But it's even beyond that in many ways. The things we can't measure.
I agree with you Tara and the evidence of babies already wiring their brains in the womb. I have a child I ate healthier with and less sugar and he is healthier than my other child that I just binged on sugar and eat whatever I wanted and she has sugar addiction problem too. I have thought about this topic a lot 
Ooh that would be an amazing topic - generational thread in addictions and behaviors! Makes sense. There are so many consequences of our actions (good and bad) that we do not always see. I need to look into this one! It is ironic that when I was pregnant with my first, I ate sooo much sugar. Way too much, but he does not really like it. Not sure if that is more situational, meaning he understands why it is so bad for you. My other two would eat it all day if I would allow it. When pregnant with them I did not crave sugar as much with them. Ah! How I wish I knew about proper nutrition when pregnant with them all, but now I can teach others this knowledge. ❤️
I have spent the last week diving into your Q&A and T&T, then to be gifted this essay this morning. It is like you have been speaking directly to my soul. So thank you for your honesty, your knowledge, your desire and passion, and your time. There is so much I could say to you, I fall into the age category as your daughters, I was raised eating what we could grow and harvest ourselves, your essays have given me a deeper understand of the traditions given to me from my mom. Oh if I had of made the connection of the woman I followed on Instagram and the man I worked along side in a small ER sooner! He spoke of your year from the farm the last shift I worked with him before I went off again and the light bulb went off, I would have loved to pick his brain on a slow night shift! I will now spend the next week diving deep into the resources you have provided, so thank you! And a big Thank you to Troy for making everything more easily accessed!
Since the passing of my older brother, my Mom has also been greeted by ravens. Even almost a decade later they still keep her company. Amazing!
Sarah, thank you. And thank you for such kind words. It's so nice to hear that something, anything I share finds its way into receiving hearts. These comments are my only proof I have that what I put out there doesn't land into an abyss of nothingness.
Those could have been some wonderful conversations indeed. He doesn't get much of that. Work, I think you know, in such fields can be isolating for the different thinkers. Best to zip it and get on with it.
I love that the ravens visit your mama, too. I've always felt like they dance along the veil of life and death, crossing over with ease to bring us something out of our reach.
Dear Troy ... sending you fragrant & honeyed blessings from the heart of my hive & from my heart ... on ribbons & rays of sunshine, across the seas & earth & air between us for all the “behind the scenes” acts of love & service that you do to embellish the writing that Tara does here. THANKYOU ✨🐝✨
It's so nice that everyone is thanking Troy. I will pass this along, Sam, thank you. He always reads my comments so I'm sure he will see it too. :)
Echo all the sentiments here... we needed this one today. Yikeessss. Nothing like taking a good look in the mirror. Thank you Tara.
Big hugs gaskket gal.
Dr. Christopher Palmer was on Dave Asprey's podcast this week and it was a really good interview.
Thanks, Amanda!
This resonates so much!
I have some autoimmune stuff going on, and I spent more time than I'd like to admit in the bargaining stage of grief, coming to terms with the fact that I'd need to permanently kiss some foods goodbye. It's kind of wild to even use the word "grief" in relation to missing foods, but in a culture where food science hijacks taste buds and brains, that's how I felt.
Now that I'm on the other side of my diet shift, one of my conditions is in remission and my second condition is improving. So many lessons have been tangled up in my health challenges, and knowing how to listen to and fuel my body feels like a super power.
Like most people here, I'm also in a place where a wellness-promoting environment is not the default. Thank you for being a lighthouse for those who want to do better, but don't always know how ❤ Hearing your experience has been invaluable.
Thank you so much, Kristen. It's been truly wonderful for me to hear from other people as well. I'm so glad you found yourself to the other side of your diet and now your health has improved and continues to do so. It's such a joyful story, delivered only by letting go of the idea of what we should be able to handle and accepting what is. It's very hopeful. I know many people will read this and it will open up their hearts and minds to what's possible, too.
I relate to the barging stage of grief & pain of deprivation piece of this so much - organic whole meal rye & spelt sourdough, cheese & some fruits & baked goods were this for me - so tied with cherished childhood memories & nostalgia & the sheer pleasure of eating delicious food.
Another wise, potent truth bomb Tara - Thankyou ✨💕✨... I’m committed to doing a series of Spiritual Fasts this year ( blessings & thankyou to the glorious John Mark Comer of Practicing the Way + Rule of Life & Live No Lies podcasts ... I can HIGHLY recommend him for all the followers / apprentices of Jesus here )
I have just ordered the fasting books 📚- I love that synchronicity!
I expect that Mitochondrial health will take centre stage in the years to come ( it’s been rumbling in the background of the Naturopathic community for around 7 years now ) because we are all under such assault in the world we have co created now. And anyone who chose or was coerced into receiving the evil brew of the last 3 years is going to be in dire straits at this level in the years to come.
I relate to the addiction piece so much Tara ... I can go months, years even on a Keto + Paleo + WAP nutrition lifestyle and the minute that I have any kind of refined carb BOOM I’m like a crack head jonesing. I struggle hard with the desire / craving for sweet foods ... even when I totally abstain it’s still there in the background like a little psycho maniac “you should be able to have some [insert healthy low GI fruit or honey or dates ] every now & then if you had self discipline” it’s so insidious. And our culture as a whole is just a society of addicts hiding in plain sight - so there is no support there ... because everyone of us who choose abstinence call them out by default and they hate that. Every time I choose to eat something that gives me a glucose spike I regret the after effects ... and yet I still occasionally get hooked in .. gahhhh 😩🤯🤦🏻♀️ ... my intent with the spiritual fasting practices is to deeply unravel the core emotional drivers & re-pattern my neurological pathways out of addictive control & fixing ... a year of renewal & restorative health & vitality work.
Sounds like we move on similar paths, Sam. It's been so affirming to hear from so many people that, like me, are not satisfied with the status quo of whatever our society tells us is okay and normal. So many people say to me, "But Tara, you eat better than anyone I know. What can a little ice cream or (insert food here) hurt?" But I don't feel comforted by that. I am comforted by the clarity of my mind and the vibrancy and resonance in my body, and the quality of love and connection in my life. Can a few dates or a raw milk latté with a spoon of honey in it disrupt those things? Yes, it can. It does. It calls forward cravings and struggles I can be free of and puts me back into a place of struggle where the things I want to be consumed by are interrupted by distractions.
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will check it out. I am always grateful for a podcast suggestion, too. Thank you.
I agree, I think there's been a lot of stuff on our mitochondria over the last while and now, it seems to me at least, they are starting to converge and overlap. Exactly what's needed. Maybe one day we might even start realizing we're one whole being, not a kidney or a heart or a pancreas. Ahhh... a girl can dream.
Something you said in a past essay, or maybe an AMA, really resonated with me on my healing journey. I forget the words, but remember the feeling.
I’ve been inflamed for most of my life - not knowing what it was or why it was - and it morphed and grew along with me. From IV antibiotics at birth because they assumed dehydration was sepsis, to soy formula and antibiotics for most of a decade, to the safety and comfort of sugar and refined carbs in an otherwise unnutured life... I’ve been at this in earnest for twenty years now and at the end of last summer, my body sent me an entirely new signal. A scream followed by a collapse.
So I cut out the last things I thought “should” be safe and I stopped trying to find a “treat” that wasn’t “so bad.” All the sugar had been gone a decade and the toe-dips into honey or agave had been gone for three years, but I still wanted fruit to come back to me, gone two years.
I’ve let it go.
But like you’ve written here, it’s not gone from wanting. There is still the “just a taste, it’s been months and you feel great, you won’t get taken down too hard...”
And after a month away from home, having to hone my boundaries in others’ kitchens with different stores, I decided to celebrate at a restaurant I’d “successfully” fallen off the wagon at in the last few years.
And the next afternoon, I couldn’t open my eyes. A migraine like none other in my life took me into a place I’d never been.
So, like you’ve also mentioned here, the well-meaning offers from those that love us, are not the love we need, and I’ll skip that sort of celebration next time, with my nourishment of mind, body, and spirit all looking delectable on my plate at the table.
It’s like the stages they say apply to grief, and knowing they won’t be stable or linear, this stage of acceptance feels more full of love and kindness and care and respect than any bargaining or denial I lived for years before.
Thank you for so beautifully and eloquently sharing your story as part of the tale of so many of our stories, Alli. You so honestly express both the struggle and the beautiful freedom and peace away from the false stories that these things, whatever they are, promise to fill in us. Lies. They never fill and only block what really does.
You're right, it ebbs and flows, this facing what must be faced. It's hard and that's why most people would rather not think about. Would rather just ignore it. It doesn't work, it comes out in every other pinhole weakness, but it serves in the short term.
"... with my nourishment of mind, body, and spirit all looking delectable on my plate at the table." Yes, good woman! Yes!
Troy you gem!
I'm an abstainer. I have to cold turkey things. Cross it out. Delete. Otherwise I'm just snipping the tops off and leaving the roots.
So. Much. Awesome. Reading. Ahead! Thanks for all the book recommendations.
Yes! Let's start an abstainer club. We'll get t-shirts made with a turkey shivering on them - get it... cold turkey? :0) yuk yuk
Great! I'm happy to oblige.
HA! LOVE IT!
Thank you to behind-the-scenes but front of the pack TROY! Bless you both for your offerings to this community! Hugs from Texas coast- sending salty breezes of life giving blessings your way.
He laughed at that one. Thanks for the thanks, Vanessa. Snow crusted blessings right back to you.
Another great essay, thank you Tara. And thanks for all the resources and all the other little tidbits.
I especially relate to the part about abstaining and moderating. I too have to be an abstainer… The cycle of moderation is a killer as you state. It’s never worked for me. Ever.
Sugar, tobacco, you name it... what a story we tell ourselves in those moments about what we can handle, why it’s not such a big deal and how “everything in moderation” is a guiding universal truth to which we should all aspire. If only...
freedom only comes for me from abstaining, and having discipline. Jocko Willink is right, discipline is freedom. If I focus on nothing else each day, that is enough, to have and maintain the discipline to do the things I know bring me joy and make me feel good about myself.
Yes, beautifully said, Joe. These things that bring peace and joy to us are worth the work to implement and hold ourselves to.
Amen on abstaining. It has taken me so long to figure out that climbing up on the wagon over and over and over again is exhausting and horrible. Why don't I just stay on the wagon?? Wow!
Yes, it's the drip, drip, drip water torture that keeps us gritting our teeth with willpower. Freedom is in not even thinking about it and that comes from abstinence over time.
Same with other ppl thankfullness here!! ( just nor able to expres my emotions properly due to language barrier🤷🏻♀️).
And the resources are “bless you or curse you”!!! - my must listen/read list growing with each essay:)
One question Tara -can you recommend the reliaable resource on high fat impact to cardiovascular system? Every time when I talk to somebody about how I fell good on low carb and how carbs were bad as inducing anger, anxiety, people as “doesnt fat clogs arteries”? Some more advanced poiting to Ray Peat statement about fat as a fuel being big streess and inflamation to the body... Palmers theory about brain energy and mitochondria sounds very relaable, still he is talking about critically ill ppl, which choose keto vs debilitating symptoms...
Ha! I know what you mean.
As far as Chris Palmer talking about critically ill people, he's not. That's the beauty of this information, it's relevant to every single one of us, just to different degrees depending on the damage done, and to the degree, to our mitochondria. So, while someone may present as bipolar or schizophrenic, another may be depressed and inflamed or lethargic with low energy. It's still a dysfunction of the mitochondria.
As far as fat clogging arteries, I don't even think most mainstream doctors say that much anymore. At least not any that have read a science journal in the last few years. As a little anecdotal tidbit, we've been eating this way for a few decades this way - high fat, no grains, high protein. Our cholesterol levels are "stellar". Ray Peat's statements on burning fat as fuel as being a stress and inflammatory are quire paradoxical given the inflammation that is caused from relying on glucose for energy. Still, if people want to do it, that's up to them. For me, I am free of inflammation only when I am free of sugar.
Here's a few resources on cholesterol:
https://www.westonaprice.org/know-your-fats/cholesterol/#gsc.tab=0
https://www.amazon.ca/Cholesterol-Myths-Exposing-Fallacy-Saturated/dp/0967089700/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3MMN3UUJIE3WA&keywords=cholesterol+myth&qid=1675204211&sprefix=cholesterol+myth%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-5
https://www.amazon.ca/Big-Fat-Surprise-Butter-Healthy/dp/1451624433/ref=d_pd_sim_sccl_3_3/130-9765160-1102456?pd_rd_w=wgWJY&content-id=amzn1.sym.c82a7617-e115-4fba-acc2-4ed967304bd3&pf_rd_p=c82a7617-e115-4fba-acc2-4ed967304bd3&pf_rd_r=Y4QWB05VXKCGZ2CQ5B37&pd_rd_wg=6s79o&pd_rd_r=92505ed2-b5be-4e67-b524-4a56bc999221&pd_rd_i=1451624433&psc=1
https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Cholesterol-Really-Causes-Disease/dp/1844546101/ref=d_pd_sim_sccl_3_7/130-9765160-1102456?pd_rd_w=wgWJY&content-id=amzn1.sym.c82a7617-e115-4fba-acc2-4ed967304bd3&pf_rd_p=c82a7617-e115-4fba-acc2-4ed967304bd3&pf_rd_r=Y4QWB05VXKCGZ2CQ5B37&pd_rd_wg=6s79o&pd_rd_r=92505ed2-b5be-4e67-b524-4a56bc999221&pd_rd_i=1844546101&psc=1
Loved reading this on an early Sunday morning in Australia as Bill Gates is entertained by our prime minister Albo an Aussie version of Joe Biden. Bill is here to help with a new mosquito plague apparently.
But addiction is the theme here and I have always felt slightly superior that I never desired cakes, chocolates or dessert, tending towards savory items.... until after being zero carb but still enjoying the odd gin and tonic with my husband when he came home from work...one day my brain was wrestling with me trying to justify having a g 'n' t before he came home! I then realised that my carbs were coming from the tonic and the alcohol...I stopped being holier than though because since I gave up the alcohol I'm craving lots of hidden carbs... like in my raw milk or a bit of honey or maple syrup.... aaarggh it's so insidious! It's not easy to get off the sugar train.
Thank you Tara for such a great essay this morning very thought provoking and what a wonderful gathering of thoughtful comments as well! 🥰🙏
Ole' Billy got them to release those GE mosquitos in Florida last year. What will become of us, TeeCee. I do not know. I saw some maniacal NZ (I think???) talking about rounding up unvaccinated people next year. Are they seriously still on this schtick?
Oh yes! It is insidious! Last fall I got on a warmed raw milk with some ground vanilla in it kick. It was quite lovely. I drank one every now and then. Then I drank one almost every day. Then I really, really wanted to drink one and thought of it and when I could drink it. It was raw milk and vanilla bean for Heaven's sake! So I stopped. And it felt like another full on withdrawal. I know not everyone is as sensitive as me, but I think more people are than they realize.
By the way, with the cravings, I find taking Berberine and chromium picolinate for a little bit (few weeks maybe) really helps. Gets your blood sugars back in line.
Thanks so much for sharing your story here, too. I think it's so helpful for us all to share how these things affect us even when we are eating healthy diets and how much better we feel without them.
And many blessings & love to all who share here in the comments - it’s so nourishing & heart-warming / fortifying to be among so many kindred spirits ✨🤩✨
I agree. :)