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Tara's avatar

I love this question, Alli. It's one of the central messages I hope to share with people, the younger the better.

It is sad. I think that's ok. I still get sad when I harvest animals. And, of course, the deaths of our loved ones are profoundly sad. They're two very different things though and I think we should be careful to distinguish them from one another. There is the continuous thread of 'sadness' that runs through them, but that's just because our English language is limited. Should we share the same word for the death of an animal and the death of a human being we love? I don't think so. But what do we have? Sad? Very sad? Very, very sad? Anguish, maybe. But that may or may not apply.

I strongly believe that kids should be allowed to express how they feel, but we seem to be in a place where we encourage feelings without context. "I feel sad". Yes, let's acknowledge that and talk about that, but it's also the parents jobs to be leaders, to put things into context for children without overwriting their genuine expressions of emotion. What I mean by this, is this trend that I've noticed where parents acknowledge "yes, you are sad" or "awww, you're sad, hey?" and leave it at that. There was a time when parents would say "nah, you're not sad, come on, get up" which disallowed any authentic expression of emotion at all.

But, as we do, we have swung so far over to the other side that now, we have young people that believe their feelings are the lighthouse of truth that others must abide by. They are quite literally at the mercy of whatever feeling bubbles up at any given moment. They don't know how to acknowledge a feeling and then pull on logic, experience, self-reflection, and circumstance to weight that feeling and use it to further their understanding of self and others.

It's a dance, to be sure. I will see if there's more I can offer here in writing in the future. Thank you for the inspiration. 💕

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