Tara I'm sobbing with you. The threads of your tapestry so bare so worn I'm sending every fiber of love I've got to you. I've had animals be the one thing between me and choosing to depart this realm, they are truly God's greatest angel. I feel every word of this legend that is Louis-Mila-Grief and how I admire your courage to share him so beautifully with us all among the whole he has left beside you. I've no doubt when your time comes Louis will be at the gateway to welcome you. Godspeed Louis. Tara, may you feel love as deeply as you feel grief. Sending you everything I've got.
God speed Louis to Mila’s side. Louis was a soul mate and guide. How powerful a love he had for you to catch all the grief sorrow and heart splitting sadness and bring light and joy as well. That is quite a dog. I know you will miss his weight pinning you in the kitchen his silky ears his eyes that took you in. My Daisy passed last year still so fresh a loss and I cried so hard listening to your recording today. It’s cathartic to do so. In the spiritual plane she walks with me and sits with me. Louis is doing that with you right now and Mila too. Thank you so much for bringing us into your heart, Tara.
I'm so sorry your beloved Daisy also died recently, Rebecca. I'm glad you found some catharsis in my words. I found them in yours, too. This world is so beautiful. Thank you for connecting with me in that way. ❤️
This unlocked a hydrant's worth of my neglected tears. As always, your writing is a perfect raw reflection of this life: beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you. ❤️ And Godspeed, Big Louis.
"Neglected tears". What a beautiful way to say that. I have those too - when it goes too long without a good cry. Thank you for your kind words, Whitney. ❤️
Tara my dear, I feel like this is too much heart ache for one heart to bear. How are you doing? I feel your pain so deeply everytime you give us a glimpse of what it's like. He held you through the unimaginable loss of you child, and now he's gone too. He would offer himself as a pillow as you cried in front of the fireplace in the middle of the night, good Lord, why must you feel such pain?! How can you hold such pain?! I'm in awe of your poise. I wish I could sit with you and hear all the wonderful stories you'd share about Louis, I would sit and cry with you until you don't to anymore. Beloved Tara, as it was said in another comment, I pray you can feel love and joy as deep as you've felt grief and sorrow. I feel like your heart deserves all the love and kindness there is. I cannot express it with words but my heart feels yours deeply and I wish we could all hold you 🤍
Thank you, Florence. Sometimes I wonder about how much grief there has been in my life. My husband says I've had too much. I don't know. I guess I don't want to think that way. But it is much and I feel its weight in my body. It slows me down and thickens the air around me. I don't know why but I have faith that it is as it's meant to be. I also know there will be more. So I take in, with mighty gulps, what comes to me as joy and love and simple bright light. My fortitude for what has been and what I know will come is in that.
I can feel love and kindness, maybe more than most, and for that I cannot see my heartache as a singular torture or injustice. Still, one gets weary and I feel weary but I can be that and madly in love with this life. That's the great gift of grief if we allow it free domain to wander into whatever little shard or fragment of us it desires. Even glass is softened by the sea. It's surrendering with faith, understanding that love only grows. Forever and ever, it grows.
Thank you for asking. Thank you for your beautiful words and your illuminated heart. How blessed this world that Florence lives. ❤️🌞
This comment of yours in response to Florence means so much to me to read, Tara. Last week my sisters and I were talking about the intensity of grief within our family's experience and how much is surely yet to come, and our conversation moved in the direction of the thoughts you express here. "Many waters cannot quench love, and neither can the floods drown it." Holding you and Louis and your entire family in my heart and prayers. When I light a candle in remembrance of my mother, dead at forty-nine with her youngest not yet eleven, I light a candle for Mila too. May beautiful Louis meet your beautiful daughter with joy.
I’m so sorry for your loss Tara. It is incredible and horrible how dogs know when they have served their earthly purpose like this. I had a wonderful boxer for 14 years of my life and she saw me through years of enduring abuse and depression. Days when I didn’t think I could possibly take another day of breathing I would only have to think about my sweet, steadfast girl waiting for me by my door for an eternity, wondering where I was, and I found the strength to keep pushing. As soon as I was safe and sound, she rapidly succumbed to a cancer that should have killed her years earlier but she had somehow never showed a single sign of illness. Shedding a tear for the loss of your loyal hound today 🩷
That makes me misty. What a loyal, enduring friend she was to you. I'm so touched to read your comment, Marissa. These marvellous animals that we get to spend a little time with that shape us forever - what blessings they are.
I am so sorry for Louis dying. I have had dogs and I have also had a “soul dog” and know how strong those connections are. It’s not “just a dog” and their deaths hit differently.
Tara, I'm so sorry for your great loss. I believe there is no companionship like that of our furred family. They, I think, are a one true constant through all the changes of life. I read once a story, and I wish I could remember it better, why dogs live such a short time compared to humans. It was something along the lines of humans are here spending our whole lives trying to be good and true, it takes us quite awhile, but dogs come to this Earth already good and true, they don't need all the time we do to become these great beings, they already are, and they help us to try to be. Sending you lots of love Tara, and Godspeed indeed to your sweet Louis.
Tara, your words capture so much. So beautiful. Amazing tribute to what sounds like a true king. May you find him just like you said, on the breezes. May you be blessed with a special ‘visit’ by Louis and Mila when you truly need it. There are no words to capture what I’d want to say to you about losing Louis. Seems like a warm hug and a whispered, “I’m so sorry”, would be the closest I could get. So, I send you those two sentiments. Love, care and concern from a stranger. 💜
Your words are beautiful and you don't feel like a stranger to me. Thank you for sending me your care and affection. I can feel it and that's no small thing. Thank you, Pam.
I am so sorry for your loss. Having a dog in your life is such a gift… they see us through the worst of times, and you are so right, they do bear the weight of us, with such commitment and grace, better than most people. The unspoken is heard, and witnessed, and held, and we are blessed to have them in our lives, especially just when we need them. They remind us that life is still worth living when it seems otherwise. They remind us that there is more to live for when we suffered a loss… but the loss of them is another suffering that they can’t sheild us from. My heart is with you now 💛
Thank you so much for your beautiful words, Jillana. It's so true, and such an honour to receive such loyalty from an animal. Their whole worlds are us. What a gift these wondrous creatures are. 💕
Oh Tara! I’m so sorry. I read the name of this essay and my heart stopped. Your beautiful writing and love for Louis had me sobbing by the end. I am sending you all the comfort and love I can! 🩷
Well, you’ve done it again. I knew this would be an emotional read, judging by the title. My tears are for you, and a little bit for me, for I too have lost a special dog. But your story hits different. Louis was that thread to Mila, and now they’re together in a different realm. He realm of Kings and Princesses. I’m so sorry, Tara, he sounds like he was a very special soul.
Thank you for so many comforting moments for Tara...thank you for carrying her grief with her.
Louis- now may you run with Mila...Just as she ran freely through the woods when she was earthside... May you two run together through the spirit world, creating breezes to remind those waiting to see you both again, that you're never really far from them.
Tara, holding you even tighter in my heart and sending you peace, strength, and love. I know you need them all, and I pray they comfort you.
Tara I was so sad to hear this and cried as I read your post and looked at your pictures and video of Louis. What a special gift he was to you. Amazing the bond a human and dog can form. I can so relate in good ways and sad ways to you and Louis. I recently lost my "soul" dog"...not quite two weeks ago. Kismet how she came into my life and at 2.5 years old I saw why she came. That was when I became ill with a chronic illness and she spent many hours lying next to me, keeping me company, keeping me calm thru the fear of not knowing what was going on with me. She was also there for me thru my mom's illness and passing, and then moving to a new state. But 7 months ago she fell ill and it was I who took care of her until she took her last breath.
Once they pass you really do start to see all the ways they took care of us and loved us and the beauty of their souls and how lucky we were to be there person. I realized she and I had spent all but 60ish days of the last 10.5 years together. And all of those days our bodies were physically touching 12 hours. Oh to be taken care of like that, that we were calming and nurturing to each other. Like you said...she was my touchstone.
And like with you and Mila, Sage was one of those threads here on earth that connected me to my mom. You could say "Grandma" and her ears would pop up and she was ready to hop in the car and go for a visit. Another reminder of my mom....gone.
I too feel like she shared my burdens and her leaving was her saying it was time for the load for me to be lightened of being her constant caretaker, that she would carry all 10 plus years of lifes' heaviness and float away with it. Unfortunately, she also took 10 plus years of love, friendship, companionship, physical contact, laughter and joy with her. Before she came into my life I didn't understand when people talked about dogs like her and Louis. Now I know, and I am a much better person for it, albeit with a broken heart.
Thank you for sharing about Louis...you will both be in my thoughts.
This is so beautifully said, Michelle. I'm so sorry your beloved friend has died. But it's true that they hold so much of us in them and when they are gone, they take it, along with so much of the joy and connection they bring us, with them. I'm so glad that you had her and she had you and that your lives we're spend, for a good long while, loving each other. ❤️
Tara I'm sobbing with you. The threads of your tapestry so bare so worn I'm sending every fiber of love I've got to you. I've had animals be the one thing between me and choosing to depart this realm, they are truly God's greatest angel. I feel every word of this legend that is Louis-Mila-Grief and how I admire your courage to share him so beautifully with us all among the whole he has left beside you. I've no doubt when your time comes Louis will be at the gateway to welcome you. Godspeed Louis. Tara, may you feel love as deeply as you feel grief. Sending you everything I've got.
Thank you for your beautiful words and that beautiful heart of yours, dear Tawny.
God speed Louis to Mila’s side. Louis was a soul mate and guide. How powerful a love he had for you to catch all the grief sorrow and heart splitting sadness and bring light and joy as well. That is quite a dog. I know you will miss his weight pinning you in the kitchen his silky ears his eyes that took you in. My Daisy passed last year still so fresh a loss and I cried so hard listening to your recording today. It’s cathartic to do so. In the spiritual plane she walks with me and sits with me. Louis is doing that with you right now and Mila too. Thank you so much for bringing us into your heart, Tara.
I'm so sorry your beloved Daisy also died recently, Rebecca. I'm glad you found some catharsis in my words. I found them in yours, too. This world is so beautiful. Thank you for connecting with me in that way. ❤️
This unlocked a hydrant's worth of my neglected tears. As always, your writing is a perfect raw reflection of this life: beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you. ❤️ And Godspeed, Big Louis.
"Neglected tears". What a beautiful way to say that. I have those too - when it goes too long without a good cry. Thank you for your kind words, Whitney. ❤️
I am feeling this as well. I find it hard to cry and process my grief a lot of days, so when the tears do start to fall I’m like okay bring it on.
Tears and more tears! I know this relationship intimately as my dog has seen me through illness. That love like no other. Holding you in my prayers. 💙
We're so lucky to have known such loyal hearts. Thank you, Sophia.
Tara my dear, I feel like this is too much heart ache for one heart to bear. How are you doing? I feel your pain so deeply everytime you give us a glimpse of what it's like. He held you through the unimaginable loss of you child, and now he's gone too. He would offer himself as a pillow as you cried in front of the fireplace in the middle of the night, good Lord, why must you feel such pain?! How can you hold such pain?! I'm in awe of your poise. I wish I could sit with you and hear all the wonderful stories you'd share about Louis, I would sit and cry with you until you don't to anymore. Beloved Tara, as it was said in another comment, I pray you can feel love and joy as deep as you've felt grief and sorrow. I feel like your heart deserves all the love and kindness there is. I cannot express it with words but my heart feels yours deeply and I wish we could all hold you 🤍
Thank you, Florence. Sometimes I wonder about how much grief there has been in my life. My husband says I've had too much. I don't know. I guess I don't want to think that way. But it is much and I feel its weight in my body. It slows me down and thickens the air around me. I don't know why but I have faith that it is as it's meant to be. I also know there will be more. So I take in, with mighty gulps, what comes to me as joy and love and simple bright light. My fortitude for what has been and what I know will come is in that.
I can feel love and kindness, maybe more than most, and for that I cannot see my heartache as a singular torture or injustice. Still, one gets weary and I feel weary but I can be that and madly in love with this life. That's the great gift of grief if we allow it free domain to wander into whatever little shard or fragment of us it desires. Even glass is softened by the sea. It's surrendering with faith, understanding that love only grows. Forever and ever, it grows.
Thank you for asking. Thank you for your beautiful words and your illuminated heart. How blessed this world that Florence lives. ❤️🌞
This comment of yours in response to Florence means so much to me to read, Tara. Last week my sisters and I were talking about the intensity of grief within our family's experience and how much is surely yet to come, and our conversation moved in the direction of the thoughts you express here. "Many waters cannot quench love, and neither can the floods drown it." Holding you and Louis and your entire family in my heart and prayers. When I light a candle in remembrance of my mother, dead at forty-nine with her youngest not yet eleven, I light a candle for Mila too. May beautiful Louis meet your beautiful daughter with joy.
I’m so sorry for your loss Tara. It is incredible and horrible how dogs know when they have served their earthly purpose like this. I had a wonderful boxer for 14 years of my life and she saw me through years of enduring abuse and depression. Days when I didn’t think I could possibly take another day of breathing I would only have to think about my sweet, steadfast girl waiting for me by my door for an eternity, wondering where I was, and I found the strength to keep pushing. As soon as I was safe and sound, she rapidly succumbed to a cancer that should have killed her years earlier but she had somehow never showed a single sign of illness. Shedding a tear for the loss of your loyal hound today 🩷
That makes me misty. What a loyal, enduring friend she was to you. I'm so touched to read your comment, Marissa. These marvellous animals that we get to spend a little time with that shape us forever - what blessings they are.
I am so sorry for Louis dying. I have had dogs and I have also had a “soul dog” and know how strong those connections are. It’s not “just a dog” and their deaths hit differently.
Thank you, Sonia ❤️
Tara, I'm so sorry for your great loss. I believe there is no companionship like that of our furred family. They, I think, are a one true constant through all the changes of life. I read once a story, and I wish I could remember it better, why dogs live such a short time compared to humans. It was something along the lines of humans are here spending our whole lives trying to be good and true, it takes us quite awhile, but dogs come to this Earth already good and true, they don't need all the time we do to become these great beings, they already are, and they help us to try to be. Sending you lots of love Tara, and Godspeed indeed to your sweet Louis.
Thank you so much, Julie. They are such wonderful companions. How blessed we are to be loved by and to love such incredible creatures. ❤️
Tara, your words capture so much. So beautiful. Amazing tribute to what sounds like a true king. May you find him just like you said, on the breezes. May you be blessed with a special ‘visit’ by Louis and Mila when you truly need it. There are no words to capture what I’d want to say to you about losing Louis. Seems like a warm hug and a whispered, “I’m so sorry”, would be the closest I could get. So, I send you those two sentiments. Love, care and concern from a stranger. 💜
Your words are beautiful and you don't feel like a stranger to me. Thank you for sending me your care and affection. I can feel it and that's no small thing. Thank you, Pam.
Oh I’m so sorry Tara for the loss of your beloved Louis. Dogs are truly such a gift.
It’s heartbreakingly beautiful to imagine Louis finding Mila and them side by side again.
Sending you my prayers and hugs during this time❤️
Thank you so much, Grace ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. Having a dog in your life is such a gift… they see us through the worst of times, and you are so right, they do bear the weight of us, with such commitment and grace, better than most people. The unspoken is heard, and witnessed, and held, and we are blessed to have them in our lives, especially just when we need them. They remind us that life is still worth living when it seems otherwise. They remind us that there is more to live for when we suffered a loss… but the loss of them is another suffering that they can’t sheild us from. My heart is with you now 💛
Thank you so much for your beautiful words, Jillana. It's so true, and such an honour to receive such loyalty from an animal. Their whole worlds are us. What a gift these wondrous creatures are. 💕
Oh Tara! I’m so sorry. I read the name of this essay and my heart stopped. Your beautiful writing and love for Louis had me sobbing by the end. I am sending you all the comfort and love I can! 🩷
Thank you so much, Heather. ❤️
Thinking of you Tara 💖 sending love and confort that Louis is now with dear Mila 🙏
Thank you, Anita ❤️
Well, you’ve done it again. I knew this would be an emotional read, judging by the title. My tears are for you, and a little bit for me, for I too have lost a special dog. But your story hits different. Louis was that thread to Mila, and now they’re together in a different realm. He realm of Kings and Princesses. I’m so sorry, Tara, he sounds like he was a very special soul.
I'm so sorry that you've also lost a precious friend, Petra. Thank you for your beautiful words. They mean a lot to me. Truly.
Oh Louis...💛
Thank you for so many comforting moments for Tara...thank you for carrying her grief with her.
Louis- now may you run with Mila...Just as she ran freely through the woods when she was earthside... May you two run together through the spirit world, creating breezes to remind those waiting to see you both again, that you're never really far from them.
Tara, holding you even tighter in my heart and sending you peace, strength, and love. I know you need them all, and I pray they comfort you.
They do comfort me. Thank you, Jeanie for your beautiful words and that beautiful heart of yours. I am grateful to receive your kindness. ❤️
Tara I was so sad to hear this and cried as I read your post and looked at your pictures and video of Louis. What a special gift he was to you. Amazing the bond a human and dog can form. I can so relate in good ways and sad ways to you and Louis. I recently lost my "soul" dog"...not quite two weeks ago. Kismet how she came into my life and at 2.5 years old I saw why she came. That was when I became ill with a chronic illness and she spent many hours lying next to me, keeping me company, keeping me calm thru the fear of not knowing what was going on with me. She was also there for me thru my mom's illness and passing, and then moving to a new state. But 7 months ago she fell ill and it was I who took care of her until she took her last breath.
Once they pass you really do start to see all the ways they took care of us and loved us and the beauty of their souls and how lucky we were to be there person. I realized she and I had spent all but 60ish days of the last 10.5 years together. And all of those days our bodies were physically touching 12 hours. Oh to be taken care of like that, that we were calming and nurturing to each other. Like you said...she was my touchstone.
And like with you and Mila, Sage was one of those threads here on earth that connected me to my mom. You could say "Grandma" and her ears would pop up and she was ready to hop in the car and go for a visit. Another reminder of my mom....gone.
I too feel like she shared my burdens and her leaving was her saying it was time for the load for me to be lightened of being her constant caretaker, that she would carry all 10 plus years of lifes' heaviness and float away with it. Unfortunately, she also took 10 plus years of love, friendship, companionship, physical contact, laughter and joy with her. Before she came into my life I didn't understand when people talked about dogs like her and Louis. Now I know, and I am a much better person for it, albeit with a broken heart.
Thank you for sharing about Louis...you will both be in my thoughts.
This is so beautifully said, Michelle. I'm so sorry your beloved friend has died. But it's true that they hold so much of us in them and when they are gone, they take it, along with so much of the joy and connection they bring us, with them. I'm so glad that you had her and she had you and that your lives we're spend, for a good long while, loving each other. ❤️