I woke up this morning thinking about Mila, and shared her story with a friend before I even read this. I was also thinking the other day how it has been a year and a half since my mother died and people don’t seem to consider it a relevant force in my day to day life anymore, its a detail, a grief that hurts only when I think about it. Whereas it’s absolutely every minute of every day right now. Not just missing her as a human, but how everything seems to cave in on the hole she left behind. But no one notices as I seem fine, I work, I do things, I take care of my boys. I understand that your grief for Mila is always there, in the same way your love for her is always there. That does not mean acute misery at all times, but its unfathomable to think of grief as being gone when someone was loved that much.
The story of the mother here is really inspiring to me, its a “chin up” story and I need to hear those right now. Grit, resilience and finding another way.
Thank you for thinking of Mila and for sharing parts of her, Sonia. This is very touching for me to receive.
You're right, people think that because we move around and go about meeting the demands of the day, our grief somehow evaporated into the ether. It's just not on their radar and, I think, a lot of people just have the approach of letting sleeping dogs lie. Like if they didn't bring it up, we might just forget about our loved ones. It's a sad quality of humans today. It leaves people alone and isolated with sadness that could be used as such a powerful connector. I have found that meeting people in their dark and lonely places has been my most meaningful interactions.
Your mama and you must have had a very special relationship. A true and everlasting blessing to you both. What a gift. Of course you miss her and of course her absence will be forever felt. I remember sitting at the foot of my Bapka's chair. She was my old Slovac grandmother. I asked her about her mother that she left during the war to come to Canada. I was astounded that she started weeping and calling out for her mother. I didn't know what to do. I had never seen her like that. To me she was old and had always been old. I saw her as my grandmother, not someone else's child or a woman unique in her own right. I remember how profoundly that changed how I saw people. Even in her nineties, she missed her mother.
I have come back to read this response about your Bapka a few times, I felt her grief so acutely here. I never responded to thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you.
It's a tad surreal to recognize the tenacity, courage, faith and love you speak of are me. I'm humbled and filled with a type of energy that doesn't quite have words....its sort of a filling up. My mindset has been deep held up by your words, your replies, your community. I'm made of all of you. May your time with beloveds be rich and plentiful. So many hugs from our new pasture and place we call home!
Dear Tara, what a beautiful, inspiring story about your friend. To have such strong conviction and faith and to stand by it through hardship and uncertainty. I think one of the reasons it really resonated with me is because I am the single mother of a two year old and am thinking about going back to work. But in my heart I want to focus on being a mother and definitely do not want to work full time. I am praying a lot about this decision.
Yay, have a wonderful time with your granddaughter!
I'm so glad this story found its way to you at a time in your life when you're making these decisions. I think there's something for all of us in that story. At least I hope so.
Thank you for the granddaughter wishes. I am so excited to meet who she is today. :)
Update: my mind is blown by this podcast episodes and I'm now obsessively consuming all Dr Jack Kruse content (with blue light blockers on, of course).
Uh oh... welcome to the dark side, dear Jess. I've been studying his work for years now and it feels like after I read everything he writes twenty five times I'm still only skimming the surface. Doesn't it make you realize that we really and truly know nothing at all?
Also, since taking additional steps to balance my blue light exposure, get out in the sun even more, etc. My stubborn last little bits of eczema that I've been trying to heal for 10+ years are almost completely gone. It's been a matter of days. I'm amazed. I guess I'm becoming more comfortable with not knowing because it doesn't matter if I understand it all, my body tells me it's so.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story about the young lass - truly inspiring! This post is so rich with love and joy and sorrow and life. I look forward to having a listen to the podcasts. I enjoy Huberman but have not listened to Dr. Kruse, looking forward to it.
I most enjoyed hearing about how your lovely doctor reached out, such a gift. 16 months into the death of my dad and my cat, Jax, I often feel like they are forgotten by others. All I want is someone to ask about them, ask about how I am doing. As you said, it’s a gift when they do.
Have a beautiful trip and look forward to hearing about your time with your girls!
I would like to know a thing or two about your dad. Would you tell me? Like, what was his name and maybe, if you feel like it, you could share a favourite story of him? I like to say the name of the so-called 'dead' when I'm out in the woods. I think, "You know, when I die, it would be nice for someone to call my name every now and then, too". When I go to the cemetery, I say the names on the ancient old headstones for the same reason.
And I'm sorry about your good cat, Jax. These beautiful creatures that become our friends always stick with us. I still miss cats and dogs from when I was a child. We are so blessed to have such wonderful companions in our lives.
Thank you for your kind and loving message, Tara. My dads name is Ellis Varellas - powerful name, for a powerful man. He was a Greek legend. Thank you for saying his name in the woods. I say their names every day when I light their candles, when out on walks in nature, when I am looking at the sky, when I call in their love, all the time, all the time. I love your tradition of saying the names on the ancient headstones too, I am going to do this as well the next time I find myself at one. As for a story, I have many of my dad. Thank you for asking. Not many people do. I thought of this for a few days after I saw your response. I think some of my best memories come wrapped in a bow with his celebration of life speech. It was a speech that poured out of me in one sitting and I knew they (my dad and Jax) were working their magic and flowing through me. It was also my first post on Substack, and one of the most popular. My dad and Jax were my biggest fans and my dad would tell me often how beautiful my writing was. I miss that so much. So, at your leisure I leave you the link to my first post and one of my most cherished writings. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading. We are honored and touched. https://throughthelensdv.substack.com/p/a-lifetime-of-love-lost-and-found
Have a great trip!! Hope it’s a swift and painless drive so you can have your two girls in your arms ASAP.
PS - Must be coming up to the 1 year bday for AL? Sending my warmest thoughts to your daughter. The one year mark is big for baby and mama, in my experience.
Thank you. Yes, November will be her one year birthday. Still muddling out if we will be there for that or not. They're hoping to get here for Christmas. We'll see how it all unfolds. But for now, it's baby squishing time!
I love this story of your friend. I see a lot of my own story reflected in it, not so much the details but her grit and tenacity to hold onto and create her own life. How sad that her client couldn’t see that. My grandmother used to say, God helps those who help themselves, which I take to mean that life is what we make it, and what we make of whatever happens to us externally has to come from within.
Yes, I agree. We're not here to sit passively by as life does its thing with us. The great gift of free will. Our lives are our responsibility. There's some participation needed :) I like your grandma.
I have been working my way through the Jack Kruse podcasts. Most of it goes over my head but I am fascinated by the bits that I do understand. I know from experience how critical light is to my health. Winters are hard on me. Because there was so much discussion around light and the eyes I suddenly wondered what damage it is doing to wear contact lens? From the moment I get up in the morning to just before going to bed at night, I am wearing contacts. The box states that they are UV blocking lens.
A few weeks ago I found out that some contact solution contains mercury!
Why does it seem that in man’s attempt to progress we really miss the mark and really screw things up?
So much hey! I don’t wear contacts but my sister does! He does mention contacts in it. Everything thing once broken down a realized I am like of course but we don’t notice so much!!!
I'm glad you like it, Diana. I agree with you, it seems everything that has been offered up as some sort of modern day miracle has cost us all in different ways.
I heard the phrase recently ‘grief is love without a place to go’ and that we are to figure out how to transmute and birth new forms and acts love from our grief. Thank you always for sharing! 🤍
I’m digging into the podcast and loving being in the room with such lightbulb moments with powerful minds that we all deserve to hear and learn more of!
Speaking of lightbulbs could you add light / light bulbs you use at home as something to share the red and if we have to use a light bulb what should we look for? I caught that bit on AC/DC light but I’m not sure ~
I spoke about this on my Q&As. If you can't find it, please ask on the next one and I can blather on about it. But you want incandescent bulbs. You should be able to search them up online using that term or by using "incandescent edison bulbs". Even thought they've been banned in Canada for about a decade now, I can still get them brought in at my local hardware store.
I think of you and your family all the time, Tara. Being a few years ahead of you in the grief journey...I know how the silence feels.
What I can share, is this- grief never seems to leave. It changes. It waxes and wanes. It bring memories of joy. It hits like a tsunami out of nowhere. It remains.
And so, I hold you in my heart; sharing a story that neither of us ever imagined.
That brings me to the rest of your story. The story of the young, single mother who despite the weight dumped on her- held on to hope. I read and reread it. And it reminded me of the hope I carry. And how I work to use that hope now. Since losing my Jake. I lose sight of that on many an occasion...
This reminded me that I do have hope. And in everything you write, I feel your hope. Your hope for your daughters, your granddaughter...you and Troy. And your words feed my hope.
Thank you so much, Jeanie. I think of you and your Jake, too. I am always grateful to hear from other parents who share this path with us. Some, like you, who are further along illuminate the way for us. I have started to feel familiar with the rhythms, but the thing that still takes me by surprise is the "tsunami" you mentioned. It is out of nowhere. Nothing needed to set it off - no big crisis or event. Sometimes, the sadness just comes rolling in, thunderous and blinding and there is nothing to do but let it. The power of it is humbling.
Hope, yes, always and forever hope. Until the end and even then, when my eyes close for the very last time, hope for what comes next.
Child of Wonder is very beautiful and goes to the heart. I know I will share this and will rewatch it again. Thank you for that and your insightful story of the young woman and her son. Her true grit is encouraging for us to learn from.
I’m half an hour into the 2 part podcast you shared. Eye opening. I have not listened to the charismatic and spicy Dr. Kruse! before but am a follower of Huberman. Our second son, a Dr in biomedical and bio mechanical engineering soaks up these podcasts and got us started on Huberman as well as your influence!
Ah the house at night by candle and lamp light is such a cozy sight!
Thank you, Rebecca. I felt the same way about the song. I think the thing I was most astounded by is to have Dr. Kruse square off with Dr. Huberman in an attempt to change his understanding of core premises in science. I was so impressed with Dr. Huberman, who like you said is already a well established enlightened mind, to be willing to humble himself and be 'schooled' by a rather salty Dr. Kruse. So much of what was said was beyond my pay grade, but my admiration of both men has grown. I think this is big stuff. My little mind will need a few more listens to absorb even a small percentage of what's there. I would be curious to hear what your son thinks of it.
I listened to the podcast you linked with Dr. Cruz and Dr. Huberman, wow !you are right there is so much in there I’m gonna have to listen to it again !I have been practicing a lot of this with light, but there is so much more in that you’re right I got to listen to it several more times. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this story. I appreciate your take on it.
As for the podcasts- these are my jam. The Swiss historian was articulating many of the same details that I've been teasing through the last few weeks. A book I was directed towards on the topic- War is a Racket by General Smedley D. Butler. Once again, not everything is as it seems, eh?
I'm only a third of the way through part one of the podcast with the doctors and I'm fully committed lol. The best part so far is the unanimous agreement by all parties that centralized medicine and modern medicine in particular are financially and politically driven. Such a shame.
Both of these topics exemplify the line of thought that much of what we have spent hours in school learning, or been accepted as common knowledge has propped up on a faulty foundation. I love to learn and hear great minds dissect any topic, and all of the rigid, dogmatic and limiting mindsets are more tiresome and heedless than ever. Glad we have access to this kind of information, and that our intuition is intact enough to find it while wading through so much bullshit.
Yes! Totally agree with everything you've said. And thanks (I think) to adding to my library. I'm going to order the book you mentioned.
I'm always so buoyed by minds like yours, willing to pull apart what we've been told, turn it over a few times, look under the hood. So much of what I thought was mine was just implanted. I think the whole point of life is getting rid of those parts that were put there but just gum up the works. Give me real, even if it's gritty and clumsy.
Well it is a characteristic I deeply admire of yours, and likely why I first found your Instagram. I finished the 2 part podcast and loved it. I don't agree with everything (I still think food can hold a certain reverence- the way its prepared, the life and story it contains etc) but wow, quantum biology- even listening Kruzes take on California- so so fascinating. I'm looking into EZ water and light waves and frequencies more now, for healing and for maybe even post birth if I encounter another ABO intolerance situation with this babe due in a few weeks. So thanks for presenting this rabbit hole haha. War is a Racket is a good one for referencing insider specifics, but also likely what someone like you would expect. I added it to my library :) why not lol.
I woke up this morning thinking about Mila, and shared her story with a friend before I even read this. I was also thinking the other day how it has been a year and a half since my mother died and people don’t seem to consider it a relevant force in my day to day life anymore, its a detail, a grief that hurts only when I think about it. Whereas it’s absolutely every minute of every day right now. Not just missing her as a human, but how everything seems to cave in on the hole she left behind. But no one notices as I seem fine, I work, I do things, I take care of my boys. I understand that your grief for Mila is always there, in the same way your love for her is always there. That does not mean acute misery at all times, but its unfathomable to think of grief as being gone when someone was loved that much.
The story of the mother here is really inspiring to me, its a “chin up” story and I need to hear those right now. Grit, resilience and finding another way.
Thank you for thinking of Mila and for sharing parts of her, Sonia. This is very touching for me to receive.
You're right, people think that because we move around and go about meeting the demands of the day, our grief somehow evaporated into the ether. It's just not on their radar and, I think, a lot of people just have the approach of letting sleeping dogs lie. Like if they didn't bring it up, we might just forget about our loved ones. It's a sad quality of humans today. It leaves people alone and isolated with sadness that could be used as such a powerful connector. I have found that meeting people in their dark and lonely places has been my most meaningful interactions.
Your mama and you must have had a very special relationship. A true and everlasting blessing to you both. What a gift. Of course you miss her and of course her absence will be forever felt. I remember sitting at the foot of my Bapka's chair. She was my old Slovac grandmother. I asked her about her mother that she left during the war to come to Canada. I was astounded that she started weeping and calling out for her mother. I didn't know what to do. I had never seen her like that. To me she was old and had always been old. I saw her as my grandmother, not someone else's child or a woman unique in her own right. I remember how profoundly that changed how I saw people. Even in her nineties, she missed her mother.
Sending you my love, Sonia.
I have come back to read this response about your Bapka a few times, I felt her grief so acutely here. I never responded to thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you.
It's a tad surreal to recognize the tenacity, courage, faith and love you speak of are me. I'm humbled and filled with a type of energy that doesn't quite have words....its sort of a filling up. My mindset has been deep held up by your words, your replies, your community. I'm made of all of you. May your time with beloveds be rich and plentiful. So many hugs from our new pasture and place we call home!
Love to you all. Keeping you in my heart and prayers.
Dear Tara, what a beautiful, inspiring story about your friend. To have such strong conviction and faith and to stand by it through hardship and uncertainty. I think one of the reasons it really resonated with me is because I am the single mother of a two year old and am thinking about going back to work. But in my heart I want to focus on being a mother and definitely do not want to work full time. I am praying a lot about this decision.
Yay, have a wonderful time with your granddaughter!
I'm so glad this story found its way to you at a time in your life when you're making these decisions. I think there's something for all of us in that story. At least I hope so.
Thank you for the granddaughter wishes. I am so excited to meet who she is today. :)
Update: my mind is blown by this podcast episodes and I'm now obsessively consuming all Dr Jack Kruse content (with blue light blockers on, of course).
Uh oh... welcome to the dark side, dear Jess. I've been studying his work for years now and it feels like after I read everything he writes twenty five times I'm still only skimming the surface. Doesn't it make you realize that we really and truly know nothing at all?
Also, since taking additional steps to balance my blue light exposure, get out in the sun even more, etc. My stubborn last little bits of eczema that I've been trying to heal for 10+ years are almost completely gone. It's been a matter of days. I'm amazed. I guess I'm becoming more comfortable with not knowing because it doesn't matter if I understand it all, my body tells me it's so.
Absolutely it does. That's exactly what I said to my husband. "We really know nothing". Somehow I'm becoming more and more okay with that reality.
Hi Tara,
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story about the young lass - truly inspiring! This post is so rich with love and joy and sorrow and life. I look forward to having a listen to the podcasts. I enjoy Huberman but have not listened to Dr. Kruse, looking forward to it.
I most enjoyed hearing about how your lovely doctor reached out, such a gift. 16 months into the death of my dad and my cat, Jax, I often feel like they are forgotten by others. All I want is someone to ask about them, ask about how I am doing. As you said, it’s a gift when they do.
Have a beautiful trip and look forward to hearing about your time with your girls!
Xo dina
Dear Dina,
I would like to know a thing or two about your dad. Would you tell me? Like, what was his name and maybe, if you feel like it, you could share a favourite story of him? I like to say the name of the so-called 'dead' when I'm out in the woods. I think, "You know, when I die, it would be nice for someone to call my name every now and then, too". When I go to the cemetery, I say the names on the ancient old headstones for the same reason.
And I'm sorry about your good cat, Jax. These beautiful creatures that become our friends always stick with us. I still miss cats and dogs from when I was a child. We are so blessed to have such wonderful companions in our lives.
Thank you for your kind and loving message, Tara. My dads name is Ellis Varellas - powerful name, for a powerful man. He was a Greek legend. Thank you for saying his name in the woods. I say their names every day when I light their candles, when out on walks in nature, when I am looking at the sky, when I call in their love, all the time, all the time. I love your tradition of saying the names on the ancient headstones too, I am going to do this as well the next time I find myself at one. As for a story, I have many of my dad. Thank you for asking. Not many people do. I thought of this for a few days after I saw your response. I think some of my best memories come wrapped in a bow with his celebration of life speech. It was a speech that poured out of me in one sitting and I knew they (my dad and Jax) were working their magic and flowing through me. It was also my first post on Substack, and one of the most popular. My dad and Jax were my biggest fans and my dad would tell me often how beautiful my writing was. I miss that so much. So, at your leisure I leave you the link to my first post and one of my most cherished writings. I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading. We are honored and touched. https://throughthelensdv.substack.com/p/a-lifetime-of-love-lost-and-found
P.S. I love Rick Ruben! Have you read his book, The Creative Act: A Way of Being. I think you would enjoy it. Xo
Well I answer comments for thirty minutes and I now have three new books in my shopping cart! Thanks for feeding my book addiction. I'm getting it 😉
Wonderful, I hope you enjoy it! You are welcome! I would love to know what you think!! xo
Have a great trip!! Hope it’s a swift and painless drive so you can have your two girls in your arms ASAP.
PS - Must be coming up to the 1 year bday for AL? Sending my warmest thoughts to your daughter. The one year mark is big for baby and mama, in my experience.
Thank you. Yes, November will be her one year birthday. Still muddling out if we will be there for that or not. They're hoping to get here for Christmas. We'll see how it all unfolds. But for now, it's baby squishing time!
I love this story of your friend. I see a lot of my own story reflected in it, not so much the details but her grit and tenacity to hold onto and create her own life. How sad that her client couldn’t see that. My grandmother used to say, God helps those who help themselves, which I take to mean that life is what we make it, and what we make of whatever happens to us externally has to come from within.
Yes, I agree. We're not here to sit passively by as life does its thing with us. The great gift of free will. Our lives are our responsibility. There's some participation needed :) I like your grandma.
I have been working my way through the Jack Kruse podcasts. Most of it goes over my head but I am fascinated by the bits that I do understand. I know from experience how critical light is to my health. Winters are hard on me. Because there was so much discussion around light and the eyes I suddenly wondered what damage it is doing to wear contact lens? From the moment I get up in the morning to just before going to bed at night, I am wearing contacts. The box states that they are UV blocking lens.
A few weeks ago I found out that some contact solution contains mercury!
Why does it seem that in man’s attempt to progress we really miss the mark and really screw things up?
So much hey! I don’t wear contacts but my sister does! He does mention contacts in it. Everything thing once broken down a realized I am like of course but we don’t notice so much!!!
I'm glad you like it, Diana. I agree with you, it seems everything that has been offered up as some sort of modern day miracle has cost us all in different ways.
This article may be helpful for you (it's dense, but you can get the gist of it): https://jackkruse.com/how-man-helps-the-eye-clock/?print=print
Thank you for the podcast recommendation! I had heard of his name before but never had looked him up.
Just wow! All our cells emit light! Of course they do, how could they not... It makes me weep to know how beautiful we are.
Can’t wait to see you with your precious grand-baby.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You just don’t know all the ripples that come from it.❤️
YES! We are truly beings of light! Creation is such brilliance. Astounding imagination and connection and beauty threaded through us all.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Maya.
I heard the phrase recently ‘grief is love without a place to go’ and that we are to figure out how to transmute and birth new forms and acts love from our grief. Thank you always for sharing! 🤍
I’m digging into the podcast and loving being in the room with such lightbulb moments with powerful minds that we all deserve to hear and learn more of!
Speaking of lightbulbs could you add light / light bulbs you use at home as something to share the red and if we have to use a light bulb what should we look for? I caught that bit on AC/DC light but I’m not sure ~
I spoke about this on my Q&As. If you can't find it, please ask on the next one and I can blather on about it. But you want incandescent bulbs. You should be able to search them up online using that term or by using "incandescent edison bulbs". Even thought they've been banned in Canada for about a decade now, I can still get them brought in at my local hardware store.
I know the fine young lass you write of, and it was lovely to hear you share her story and her tenacity of a vision despite the odds.
Enjoy your trip, and the cuddles. What a funnnnn age!
Another beautiful post...
I think of you and your family all the time, Tara. Being a few years ahead of you in the grief journey...I know how the silence feels.
What I can share, is this- grief never seems to leave. It changes. It waxes and wanes. It bring memories of joy. It hits like a tsunami out of nowhere. It remains.
And so, I hold you in my heart; sharing a story that neither of us ever imagined.
That brings me to the rest of your story. The story of the young, single mother who despite the weight dumped on her- held on to hope. I read and reread it. And it reminded me of the hope I carry. And how I work to use that hope now. Since losing my Jake. I lose sight of that on many an occasion...
This reminded me that I do have hope. And in everything you write, I feel your hope. Your hope for your daughters, your granddaughter...you and Troy. And your words feed my hope.
Hope remains.
Thank you. 💛
Thank you so much, Jeanie. I think of you and your Jake, too. I am always grateful to hear from other parents who share this path with us. Some, like you, who are further along illuminate the way for us. I have started to feel familiar with the rhythms, but the thing that still takes me by surprise is the "tsunami" you mentioned. It is out of nowhere. Nothing needed to set it off - no big crisis or event. Sometimes, the sadness just comes rolling in, thunderous and blinding and there is nothing to do but let it. The power of it is humbling.
Hope, yes, always and forever hope. Until the end and even then, when my eyes close for the very last time, hope for what comes next.
❤️
Child of Wonder is very beautiful and goes to the heart. I know I will share this and will rewatch it again. Thank you for that and your insightful story of the young woman and her son. Her true grit is encouraging for us to learn from.
I’m half an hour into the 2 part podcast you shared. Eye opening. I have not listened to the charismatic and spicy Dr. Kruse! before but am a follower of Huberman. Our second son, a Dr in biomedical and bio mechanical engineering soaks up these podcasts and got us started on Huberman as well as your influence!
Ah the house at night by candle and lamp light is such a cozy sight!
Enjoy your time with family. ☀️
Thank you, Rebecca. I felt the same way about the song. I think the thing I was most astounded by is to have Dr. Kruse square off with Dr. Huberman in an attempt to change his understanding of core premises in science. I was so impressed with Dr. Huberman, who like you said is already a well established enlightened mind, to be willing to humble himself and be 'schooled' by a rather salty Dr. Kruse. So much of what was said was beyond my pay grade, but my admiration of both men has grown. I think this is big stuff. My little mind will need a few more listens to absorb even a small percentage of what's there. I would be curious to hear what your son thinks of it.
I listened to the podcast you linked with Dr. Cruz and Dr. Huberman, wow !you are right there is so much in there I’m gonna have to listen to it again !I have been practicing a lot of this with light, but there is so much more in that you’re right I got to listen to it several more times. Thank you for sharing.
I'm going in for my third listen so I'm right there with you! :)
The Kruse podcast is mind blowing. Somewhat above my head but I am getting the gist and looking forward to exploring it more!!!!
Glad you liked it! :)
Thank you for this story. I appreciate your take on it.
As for the podcasts- these are my jam. The Swiss historian was articulating many of the same details that I've been teasing through the last few weeks. A book I was directed towards on the topic- War is a Racket by General Smedley D. Butler. Once again, not everything is as it seems, eh?
I'm only a third of the way through part one of the podcast with the doctors and I'm fully committed lol. The best part so far is the unanimous agreement by all parties that centralized medicine and modern medicine in particular are financially and politically driven. Such a shame.
Both of these topics exemplify the line of thought that much of what we have spent hours in school learning, or been accepted as common knowledge has propped up on a faulty foundation. I love to learn and hear great minds dissect any topic, and all of the rigid, dogmatic and limiting mindsets are more tiresome and heedless than ever. Glad we have access to this kind of information, and that our intuition is intact enough to find it while wading through so much bullshit.
Yes! Totally agree with everything you've said. And thanks (I think) to adding to my library. I'm going to order the book you mentioned.
I'm always so buoyed by minds like yours, willing to pull apart what we've been told, turn it over a few times, look under the hood. So much of what I thought was mine was just implanted. I think the whole point of life is getting rid of those parts that were put there but just gum up the works. Give me real, even if it's gritty and clumsy.
Well it is a characteristic I deeply admire of yours, and likely why I first found your Instagram. I finished the 2 part podcast and loved it. I don't agree with everything (I still think food can hold a certain reverence- the way its prepared, the life and story it contains etc) but wow, quantum biology- even listening Kruzes take on California- so so fascinating. I'm looking into EZ water and light waves and frequencies more now, for healing and for maybe even post birth if I encounter another ABO intolerance situation with this babe due in a few weeks. So thanks for presenting this rabbit hole haha. War is a Racket is a good one for referencing insider specifics, but also likely what someone like you would expect. I added it to my library :) why not lol.