Thank you Tara. A peaceful reflection that reinforces my inner compass. Isn’t it something, that the messages we women receive about serving others is inherently not taking care of yourself, are so pervasive? Kinda pounding you over the head constantly like a bell ringing, but you don’t realize it’s the bell that’s annoying, not you that isn’t fulfilling the command? I am 54, my kids are mostly grown and gone and I am only realizing and reclaiming it now. I’m sometimes gripped by grief and regret that I wasn’t *there* for it all. But I’m here now.
Just really appreciate how much your reflections resonate. Thanks!
Thank you, Esther. It's so true, how we wake up and see how wildly we swing from one extreme to the next in our culture? We put all above self and so we put self above all. In fact, living in service includes us because we, too, are the very life that must be served. No more, no less than all. I find this perspective brings me great peace and a feeling of deep connection to all of our Creator's beautiful creations. I can just be a part, with respect and honouring. What a wonder. xo
I’m in this space of my life right now , with all my girls. I’m glad I realised a few years ago, that what I actually enjoyed doing in my life , was being in the moment with whatever I was doing. So sick of societies conditioning, it’s so nice to just ‘be’ and raise my girls, at their precious ages. and not have to answer to anyones judgement of what my job or work is. No, I don’t need a ‘purpose’ or something to ‘contribute’ to be in line with the ‘rules’.
My single breath is purpose enough , and the rest is to be filled with joy .
That's so beautiful, Elodie. I am warmed to read where you are. I've become more aware of younger moms claiming their lives in a way that is authentic to them. I grew up under a pervasive and unique brand of feminism that instilled the value of worth through labels and achievements, definitely not through being and the astonishing role of motherhood. I am so grateful to younger me who had the tenacity to carve out a rogue life that often left me feeling isolated from the mainstream around me. I just wish I had felt more confident about what I was doing instead of allowing those societal pressures to ride on my back like a monkey. Alas, here I am now, saturated in gratitude for every last bit of my experiences understanding there is no such thing as "good" and "bad".
This resonated with me deeply. Tara, your way with words, how you’ve depicted just how painfully beautiful life can be, and how without acknowledging and embracing the pain we cannot feel the beauty as fully, has been a beacon of light for me as I’ve embraced my own becoming these last few years. As I approach 30 I am overtaken with gratitude that I’ve experienced things I thought would break me, could have broken me and some that did in fact shatter me, for without those things I’m not sure I would have found my path to “purpose” in life this early on. I still have much uncovering and untangling to do and find myself wandering off this path sometimes, but I find joy in the healing and discovering of who this version of me is. And I look forward to discovering each iteration of myself as the years go on. My husband and I just bought 43 acres last month after several years of wanderlusting at your way of living. We’re expecting a child next year, my husbands first and my second. Carrying this new life, inside and out, has sped up my untangling process. As we grow and learn as a family, I dream of what our days may look like, whilst trying my best to just “be”. The balance of moving forward to create the life we want, but also acknowledging we already have the life we want and need.
Anyways, thank you for your words. You’re one of the guideposts I’ve found in life who helps me to continue to aim towards the divine.
And thank you for the reminder of being in service. I know I struggle with being in service to myself and so try to be active in doing so, but this post reflected to me that I’ve not been in service to my husband lately in the way that I wish to be. Now I’m off to find a way to serve him today, tomorrow and all the days after.
Oh, Sarah! What fantastical things are bubbling in your world! Congratulations on the little life within and the big life happening all about you. What an exciting time for you all. Thank you for such kind words. I love reading about how others are crafting their lives in a purposeful and meaningful way. Such an antidote to the consumer culture portrayed as reality on the airwaves. xo
Thank you For sharing Tara! This really resonates with me. I have a 17 month old little girl (I am a single mom) and I have a vision for how I want to raise her, for the nourishing foods I want her to eat, I want lots of outdoor adventures for her and freedom! But then there’s also the worry in the back of my mind: I need to make money, I need to earn a good living for her. But how to combine work and still giving her the time and attention I want. And indeed the societal pressure of ‘not being useful’. Because we’re only ‘useful’, we only matter if they can assign some monetary value to our time. What a sad mindset.
So I am trying to figure out how to live authentically with my values in this culture. Any words of wisdom are welcome 😊
What a lucky little bun bun to have landed with you. That you're even wondering, even aware of that push and pull is so far beyond where many operate from. I feel like my words of wisdom are limited. For me, whenever I felt like I was trying to figure things out, it usually meant I was holding tight to the reigns. And, as I've learned, whenever I hold tight to the reigns, the horses pulling my wagon are limited by my sightline. I want bigger, expansive sight lines and for that I need to surrender. What that actually looks like for me is consciously choosing to stop trying to get all the answers and to spend time in nature, close to God, praying for an open, humble heart. Asking for direction, listening to clues, not ignoring open doors because of fear (that's a BIGGIE).
I see so many answers in your question, in your observations here. Live as simply as you can and put your energy and your love into what you want to grow.
Such a beautiful and humbling read. When we are present in the acts of service, big or small, we realize that the plants and animals around us are living the same way and taking care of us too.
The big takeaway here is that until and unless we live in the moment as humans - part of the web of all life on the planet - we are going to continue as a species to run off the rails of sanity. Thanks for mentioning narcissism - we are literally surrounded by toxic narcissism. We have run off the rails but there are clues in becoming interdependent to guide us back if we choose.
So right. I wish we could start hearing a bit more about "toxic narcissism" over the "toxic masculinity" bit. We'd sure cover off a heck of a lot more people.
oh my goodness Tara, this was perfect. For so long I was in search of my "purpose". Being a woman with a career, children, and all that comes along with that. Once we moved out of the City and started our homestead and focusing on our faith, did I come to realize the importance of servitude. Ahhh! What was I missing all of these years. I thought serving someone else was not empowering me as a woman. Blah! What kind of nonsense we have been fed all these years. I truly feel that I am here to serve others. My children, husband, coworkers, animals, friends, strangers. To be a great leader we need to serve those we are leading. With this new perspective I have been so much happier and have joy in my daily tasks. They are not mundane and no longer do I hold a grudge or bemoan what I am doing. They are so joyful. I love serving my children in what I make them to eat, what I teach them, doing their laundry, and driving hours to doctors appointments, and baseball games. I am not perfect and still have to keep this in mind at times as I am "un-training" myself from the "purpose" mentality all of these years. I am so thankful I have this new understanding and only wish I would have realized this when my kiddos were a bit younger. :) To know then, what we know now.....
“Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” - Jesus
Thank you for this today. I needed to hear it at just this time. It was a confirmation to me for some things that I am grappling with in my life. I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thank you, Tenley. I love it when people tell me that something I shared found them at just the right time. I'm not a big believer in accidents. I love that we can all share things we snatch out of the ether and learn from one another.
I don’t deny that there is merit in the self help world but I’ve seen too many people chasing from one thing to the next to be enthralled with it all. I do admit to feeling lost without a specific “purpose” but spending time on the land and hearing the words of yourself and others has helped to ground me in the daily, visceral parts of life! Thank you💕
I love this, Tara. I love the writing - especially the visual imagery about you being the maypole around which your children braided their life. I also love the message and agree wholeheartedly. And thank you for the clip of the bird and the first 2 sentences and the last 3. I am writing them down.
As per your recommendation from a few posts ago, I have been listening to Charles Eisenstein to help me with understanding these ideas and interrelationships. He speaks to me as does your writing.
I was listening to his suggestions of how to reconnect and provide that connection for my children as you have done. Picking flowers, naming them and discussing their attributes/benefits are one we already do. I have also been thinking I will make a book of stories of my family. My mother, who my youngest never met, (as a side note my sister spoke with a medium and she got a message from my mother that she held my son on the other side while he waited to arrive). I will to tell the story of my Oma's journey as a refugee from Russia to Canada. So while we have been striped from having a community that truly knows us like our great ancestors, I hope by sharing this stories they will find a deeper connection to who they/we are.
I also will include photos of our early days that I cherish so much, when I tandem breastfeed my twins. We had so much time to bound that first year together. With my son, my 3rd, I went back to work too early, against my better judgment. But at the same time I felt so much isolation at home with all 3 during lockdown. But now I cherish the days when I get to stay home with them, even if it is sick days. Even on those sick days we get outside and search for flowers, bees and butterflies. I am so thankful that I have found a way to slow down, relax more and be present. It is not everyday but slowly I am reconnecting to who I am and finding joy in all the little things. - xox
What a beautiful gift to give your children, both in the sharing of their heritage and in the small, slow moments of your days. That's what it's all about. xo
Thank you Tara. A peaceful reflection that reinforces my inner compass. Isn’t it something, that the messages we women receive about serving others is inherently not taking care of yourself, are so pervasive? Kinda pounding you over the head constantly like a bell ringing, but you don’t realize it’s the bell that’s annoying, not you that isn’t fulfilling the command? I am 54, my kids are mostly grown and gone and I am only realizing and reclaiming it now. I’m sometimes gripped by grief and regret that I wasn’t *there* for it all. But I’m here now.
Just really appreciate how much your reflections resonate. Thanks!
Thank you, Esther. It's so true, how we wake up and see how wildly we swing from one extreme to the next in our culture? We put all above self and so we put self above all. In fact, living in service includes us because we, too, are the very life that must be served. No more, no less than all. I find this perspective brings me great peace and a feeling of deep connection to all of our Creator's beautiful creations. I can just be a part, with respect and honouring. What a wonder. xo
I’m in this space of my life right now , with all my girls. I’m glad I realised a few years ago, that what I actually enjoyed doing in my life , was being in the moment with whatever I was doing. So sick of societies conditioning, it’s so nice to just ‘be’ and raise my girls, at their precious ages. and not have to answer to anyones judgement of what my job or work is. No, I don’t need a ‘purpose’ or something to ‘contribute’ to be in line with the ‘rules’.
My single breath is purpose enough , and the rest is to be filled with joy .
That's so beautiful, Elodie. I am warmed to read where you are. I've become more aware of younger moms claiming their lives in a way that is authentic to them. I grew up under a pervasive and unique brand of feminism that instilled the value of worth through labels and achievements, definitely not through being and the astonishing role of motherhood. I am so grateful to younger me who had the tenacity to carve out a rogue life that often left me feeling isolated from the mainstream around me. I just wish I had felt more confident about what I was doing instead of allowing those societal pressures to ride on my back like a monkey. Alas, here I am now, saturated in gratitude for every last bit of my experiences understanding there is no such thing as "good" and "bad".
xo
This resonated with me deeply. Tara, your way with words, how you’ve depicted just how painfully beautiful life can be, and how without acknowledging and embracing the pain we cannot feel the beauty as fully, has been a beacon of light for me as I’ve embraced my own becoming these last few years. As I approach 30 I am overtaken with gratitude that I’ve experienced things I thought would break me, could have broken me and some that did in fact shatter me, for without those things I’m not sure I would have found my path to “purpose” in life this early on. I still have much uncovering and untangling to do and find myself wandering off this path sometimes, but I find joy in the healing and discovering of who this version of me is. And I look forward to discovering each iteration of myself as the years go on. My husband and I just bought 43 acres last month after several years of wanderlusting at your way of living. We’re expecting a child next year, my husbands first and my second. Carrying this new life, inside and out, has sped up my untangling process. As we grow and learn as a family, I dream of what our days may look like, whilst trying my best to just “be”. The balance of moving forward to create the life we want, but also acknowledging we already have the life we want and need.
Anyways, thank you for your words. You’re one of the guideposts I’ve found in life who helps me to continue to aim towards the divine.
And thank you for the reminder of being in service. I know I struggle with being in service to myself and so try to be active in doing so, but this post reflected to me that I’ve not been in service to my husband lately in the way that I wish to be. Now I’m off to find a way to serve him today, tomorrow and all the days after.
Oh, Sarah! What fantastical things are bubbling in your world! Congratulations on the little life within and the big life happening all about you. What an exciting time for you all. Thank you for such kind words. I love reading about how others are crafting their lives in a purposeful and meaningful way. Such an antidote to the consumer culture portrayed as reality on the airwaves. xo
Thank you For sharing Tara! This really resonates with me. I have a 17 month old little girl (I am a single mom) and I have a vision for how I want to raise her, for the nourishing foods I want her to eat, I want lots of outdoor adventures for her and freedom! But then there’s also the worry in the back of my mind: I need to make money, I need to earn a good living for her. But how to combine work and still giving her the time and attention I want. And indeed the societal pressure of ‘not being useful’. Because we’re only ‘useful’, we only matter if they can assign some monetary value to our time. What a sad mindset.
So I am trying to figure out how to live authentically with my values in this culture. Any words of wisdom are welcome 😊
What a lucky little bun bun to have landed with you. That you're even wondering, even aware of that push and pull is so far beyond where many operate from. I feel like my words of wisdom are limited. For me, whenever I felt like I was trying to figure things out, it usually meant I was holding tight to the reigns. And, as I've learned, whenever I hold tight to the reigns, the horses pulling my wagon are limited by my sightline. I want bigger, expansive sight lines and for that I need to surrender. What that actually looks like for me is consciously choosing to stop trying to get all the answers and to spend time in nature, close to God, praying for an open, humble heart. Asking for direction, listening to clues, not ignoring open doors because of fear (that's a BIGGIE).
I see so many answers in your question, in your observations here. Live as simply as you can and put your energy and your love into what you want to grow.
Thank you ❤️
Such a beautiful and humbling read. When we are present in the acts of service, big or small, we realize that the plants and animals around us are living the same way and taking care of us too.
Yes! Such a unifying web of interconnectedness to which we belong.
The big takeaway here is that until and unless we live in the moment as humans - part of the web of all life on the planet - we are going to continue as a species to run off the rails of sanity. Thanks for mentioning narcissism - we are literally surrounded by toxic narcissism. We have run off the rails but there are clues in becoming interdependent to guide us back if we choose.
So right. I wish we could start hearing a bit more about "toxic narcissism" over the "toxic masculinity" bit. We'd sure cover off a heck of a lot more people.
oh my goodness Tara, this was perfect. For so long I was in search of my "purpose". Being a woman with a career, children, and all that comes along with that. Once we moved out of the City and started our homestead and focusing on our faith, did I come to realize the importance of servitude. Ahhh! What was I missing all of these years. I thought serving someone else was not empowering me as a woman. Blah! What kind of nonsense we have been fed all these years. I truly feel that I am here to serve others. My children, husband, coworkers, animals, friends, strangers. To be a great leader we need to serve those we are leading. With this new perspective I have been so much happier and have joy in my daily tasks. They are not mundane and no longer do I hold a grudge or bemoan what I am doing. They are so joyful. I love serving my children in what I make them to eat, what I teach them, doing their laundry, and driving hours to doctors appointments, and baseball games. I am not perfect and still have to keep this in mind at times as I am "un-training" myself from the "purpose" mentality all of these years. I am so thankful I have this new understanding and only wish I would have realized this when my kiddos were a bit younger. :) To know then, what we know now.....
I could feel the joy in your words, Katharine. How wonderful to be in such a place. I'm so happy for you all.
Thank you for distilling down and gift wrapping such a rich yet all too often disregarded sentiment.
It is hard to overstate how important this message is at a time of such fragmentation and isolation.
Thank you, QL :)
“Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” - Jesus
Beautiful. "Give his life as a ransom for many." Who is this "Jesus" fella'? I think he's pretty magnificent. ;)
Brilliant!
Thank you :)
Thank you for this today. I needed to hear it at just this time. It was a confirmation to me for some things that I am grappling with in my life. I appreciate your words of wisdom.
Thank you, Tenley. I love it when people tell me that something I shared found them at just the right time. I'm not a big believer in accidents. I love that we can all share things we snatch out of the ether and learn from one another.
I don’t deny that there is merit in the self help world but I’ve seen too many people chasing from one thing to the next to be enthralled with it all. I do admit to feeling lost without a specific “purpose” but spending time on the land and hearing the words of yourself and others has helped to ground me in the daily, visceral parts of life! Thank you💕
Thank you, Jenelle.
I love this, Tara. I love the writing - especially the visual imagery about you being the maypole around which your children braided their life. I also love the message and agree wholeheartedly. And thank you for the clip of the bird and the first 2 sentences and the last 3. I am writing them down.
Thank you, Janene. I always truly enjoy hearing back about what resonates. Such a nice little gift :)
As per your recommendation from a few posts ago, I have been listening to Charles Eisenstein to help me with understanding these ideas and interrelationships. He speaks to me as does your writing.
I was listening to his suggestions of how to reconnect and provide that connection for my children as you have done. Picking flowers, naming them and discussing their attributes/benefits are one we already do. I have also been thinking I will make a book of stories of my family. My mother, who my youngest never met, (as a side note my sister spoke with a medium and she got a message from my mother that she held my son on the other side while he waited to arrive). I will to tell the story of my Oma's journey as a refugee from Russia to Canada. So while we have been striped from having a community that truly knows us like our great ancestors, I hope by sharing this stories they will find a deeper connection to who they/we are.
I also will include photos of our early days that I cherish so much, when I tandem breastfeed my twins. We had so much time to bound that first year together. With my son, my 3rd, I went back to work too early, against my better judgment. But at the same time I felt so much isolation at home with all 3 during lockdown. But now I cherish the days when I get to stay home with them, even if it is sick days. Even on those sick days we get outside and search for flowers, bees and butterflies. I am so thankful that I have found a way to slow down, relax more and be present. It is not everyday but slowly I am reconnecting to who I am and finding joy in all the little things. - xox
What a beautiful gift to give your children, both in the sharing of their heritage and in the small, slow moments of your days. That's what it's all about. xo
at 65, your words mean even more than you can imagine right now. thank you for saying them and sharing with all the rest of us!!
Thank you, Tammy. I'm so glad to know that.
Same🥰