radiance of the ordinary

and just like that, a book is born

Ta-da! There it is, my friends. My very first, honest to goodness book!

I was walking through our forest the other day when I stumbled into a congregation of red-winged blackbirds. They were a hootin’ and a hollerin’, proclaiming their hallelujahs and singing their exaltations! It was a veritable jamboree replete with music and flights of fancy. They cared not about me or my two pups hopping and dancing along. They had better things to do than concern themselves with the flightless and furry.

I suspect those birds were telling tales from their migrations, sharing plans for the upcoming spring season. Perhaps some of them were discussing where they were going to be building their nests or what has become of last year’s fledglings while the males puffed up their brilliant red shoulder pads to one another, admiring or retreating as appropriate.

The stories they must have! And I, too, have a few stories myself. First, there’s this little thing I did while I was gone. Yes, the book is here and I can finally share the title and it’s soon-to-be whereabouts.

So, there you have it. My book is here and it’s being published by Chelsea Green. I feel so lucky to have been picked up by them. I’ve long admired Chelsea Green for their courageous and interesting books. I knew I wanted to work with them and, well, I suppose I was lucky enough that they felt the same way.

A few days ago I popped into the chat to give my loyal readers there a sneak peek and I’ve been overwhelmed with the excitement, generous compliments, and, of course, the pre-orders! What do you think? Do you like the title? The cover? That title has a significance to me both as a guiding principle and as a quiet whisper of revelation. I share that story, too, in my book.

I can hardly believe this day has arrived. Only I knew it would. I want to write about that, too, sometime soon. For now, I will say that I started this book a few years ago, got serious about it the year before last and used this fall and winter to work with the publisher and my fearless editor to shape my essays into a coherent whole. I have learned a lot along the way. Maybe some of the most useful things I’ve learned have been around structure and deadlines. We’ve probably all heard the saying, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” It’s truth, that quippy little sentence. The hard part is when that accomplishment seems a long way off and the tasks feel as desirable as rubbing glass into one’s eyeballs.

I think a lot of creative people share this problem. We love using our imaginations, in coming up with things that spill forth from our minds and our hands. The joy is in the making, not in the marketing. Or the refining. Or the logistics of it all. I’ve always been the kind of person that takes delight in something while I’m in it and when I’m done, I’m done. The thing has served it’s purpose for me. Writing a book disallows such notions if you hope to actually have a book worth reading. You have to stick with it and revisit feelings and perspectives that may be painful or that you’ve forgotten about.

That was pretty tough at times.

My book is very intimate. While I was writing it I woke up at 3:00 every morning. I would light the fire and an enormous beeswax candle I bought that was meant to last me the duration of the book’s creation. Before I started to write, I always said a prayer. I prayed for guidance, to be honest, and to have the courage to tuck away my ego so I could write from a place of open vulnerability rather than trying to protect the raw edges. I think I got that part right. I hope I did. But that too comes with an energetic cost. To go back through those things, sometimes on normal, boring, busy days where I had other things on my mind, could be jarring at times. It could also be a beautiful reminder.

The other day I woke up in the middle of the night with a sense of dread. I started thinking about some of the stories I shared about some very profound, precious things that happened to us shortly after our daughter, Mila, died. When I wrote about those things in the book, it felt honest and it felt like I was sharing in a gift that was meant for more than just me. But in the middle of that sleepless night, I was horrified. What if people criticise me or call me crazy or diminish, in any possible way, those things that are so cherished by me? Could I handle that? Maybe not. Maybe it was a mistake to include them. Maybe I needed to put in a 911 call to my editor and insist we remove those delicate, precious stories. They are mine and mine alone and nobody else can touch them!

The next morning I awoke still uneasy and questioning whether I should make that call. I put out a prayer on my morning forest walk. I like to pray then, when the sun is shining on my skin. The warm hands of God cupping my face in his hands. So I poured out my heart to God, to Mila, to those I love on the other side. I asked what I should do. I had faith as I wrote my book that what came was what was meant to be shared, but maybe I got that part wrong?

Later that day I downloaded an episode from a podcast that I really enjoy. I have listened to most of the episodes, but as I scrolled down the years and episodes, I saw one that I hadn’t downloaded before. Listening to that podcast, from years earlier, I was touched, but not surprised, when the author being interviewed spoke of how we need to share our stories of relationships and interactions with the dead. Not everyone can access these beautiful gifts so those that can should share them as a balm and as a gift meant, as they are, to be known and felt by us all.

Ahhh, that was what I was looking for. Just that. And of course, it came as it should.

So, I’m here now and I’m back and I’m just thrilled to be with you all again. I have missed you. I’ve missed our interactions and your thoughtful comments and the sharing of your stories, too. I look forward to returning to my regular, weekly offerings and to some cool, new ideas I have about how we might evolve things moving forward. For now, I do believe I have a book to promote! And for that I hope you might help me.

Apparently, pre-orders for books are a big thing - they really help the book get some traction before it’s even released. If you know you will be ordering my book, might you consider doing so now? It will officially be released early September (just in time for autumnal cozying up with a good, steamy cup of tea or coffee). But the pre-orders are live now. I will include links at the bottom of this page for different ways you can order online. And please spread the word if you feel so inclined. This will be a real grassroots type of campaign and I do hope it includes sharing a few meals and laughs along the way. If you know of any good, local booksellers that you think my book would fit in well with, please ask them if they might get it in. Do you have a bookclub you think might enjoy it? Maybe a mama group or a homeschool clan or even someone you know who has struggled with death and grief? Or, if money is an issue, maybe just asking your library to bring it in.

I’m hoping that I can meet some of you as I travel about to different locales. Maybe we can do a book reading in a park complete with a picnic? Or maybe tea at a little bookstore? Maybe instead of walls we can plop ourselves into a forest and share stories? These are the ways I’m hoping to see us come together around this book. It’s my book, but not really. I just tried to encapsulate gifts I’ve been shown. I think you have your own to share, too, and it would be simply tremendous to share these things in the flesh, together.

Well, hey, hold up, maybe seeing I just put that part out there, I should finally say what the book is about! Is it about death and grief? Yes, but that’s not solely what it’s about. It’s about the dualism of all of life and how allowing the fullness of all rewards us with deep meaning and peace in our own lives. Death and life. Pain and pleasure. Hunger and deep satiation. Work and play. Above all else, I think it’s a story of steadfast faith and enduring love. My deepest desire is that there is something in my words that nourishes you just as I have been.

And here I must mention that one of my biggest “wants” (needs) was having some illustrations in my book. I just love little illustrations every now and then in a book. They used to do that a lot more in older books. Do you notice how rare it is to see that in a book now unless it’s some sort of how-to? Well, I wanted those illustrations and I wanted them drawn/painted by real human hands. It was my hope that they would add some gilding to my words, some beauty in amongst the lines and dashes. I have been beyond blessed to have been able to work with Maria Pace to do just that. I got my illustrations and they’re wonderful. Maria has an eye for the intimate details that, to me, define the majesty and sanctity of life. I’m sure you will love her paintings as much as I do.

I am so excited to hear what you all think about it I can hardly stand that it won’t be until early September when it’s released!

But order it now anyway okay?!

Some book pre-ordering options (direct links):

I know many of us try to avoid Amazon, but for the pre-orders, it’s a beast that needs to be fed. Here’s how to order through Amazon US and Amazon Canada and Amazon UK.

Barnes and Noble

Bookshop.org Bookshop gives percentages of each sale to the local bookstore of your choice.

Waterstones (UK)

Foyles (UK)

Alright, in the next week or two in the chat I’m going to be starting another one of my highly-prized (by me anyway) five day challenges. Remember the other one we did where we all got out there under the sunlight and all that jazz? Is anyone still following those principles? I know I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, we should do another only this time let’s just make it ‘five days of a bit better’ instead of a challenge. It’s bits that move us forward anyway and that, I think, we can all commit to.

Oh, one last thing for those who didn’t see it in the chat. Please allow me to introduce to you Augustus of the soft and fluffy clan. You may call him Gus if you so choose. He’s an amenable one and will gracefully accept either. We’re still figuring each other out, but I must say, he reminds me a lot of myself - stubborn but ready for a good romp. I think we have many good days ahead of us indeed.

One ear has some catching up to do, but it’ll get there. For now he reminds me of a little frenchman with his off kilter beret on. Bonjour monsieur ❤️