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Joe's avatar

So wonderful, that perspective. And such a great example of the benefits and value of decentralized info and local knowledge of place.

I so relate to the picture you paint of this friend and mentor. One thing of many that I am trying to get better at in my life is the raising and shaping of herding dogs. I remember sitting on bales of straw at the fair in my early 20’s watching the demos all day long, no interest in the booths or workshops. I just wanted to see those dogs work. By my early 30’s I had my first dog and a couple sheep….. never in my life had I been so captivated and challenged all at once by something. I got all the books, rented videos, talked to the breeder I got the dog from… I did all I could to understand what this dog needed from me and what he was bred to do. What a ride, but even with all that I could only go so far… eventually Johnny (his name) and I hit a wall, I could not “get him” to the next level.

Eventually I found the name and number of a woman not far away who did some work with herding dogs. We made an appointment. She had my dog working in ways I did not know possible inside of 10 minutes. I was in awe.

20 years later we are still friends and she is still my mentor. Visiting and training with her is still awe inspiring but can also be demoralizing if I go there… which I try not to do. This woman understands dogs (and horses, and cows, and sheep…for that matter) I’m ways I am still only barely able to grasp. What I do understand is that the dogs work with her because they trust her immediately. That know she means business and they know she is the boss. I have been to clinic after clinic with her and seen handler after handler throw up their hands in exasperation… “I’ve been asking her to do that for months! She never does that for me!! How did you do that!!???”

I never get tired of that, I smile and shake my head knowing that her ability to communicate with and “read” the dogs is unparalleled… she is so gifted in that way. We all joke that we are mere mortals.

My point is just that what you write resonates so much, I know I will never reach her level of skill and mastery in communication with the dogs. But what she shows me time and again is that next step, that next action I can take to improve my work with my dogs. Didn’t take me long to understand that she does not train dogs. She trains people and I’m forever grateful that I can learn from her and keep taking those steps.

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Tara's avatar

There's so much wisdom and reverence in what you wrote. We may never be the masters, but to stand by their sides and soak up some of that magic is such a gift. I know a woman here who trains world class border collies as well. What a thing to see. She has dedicated her whole life to it. It really is something to see the level of skill that comes from such devotion.

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Janene's avatar

"This is what Tara said," is my new daily thing I say when I'm telling my hubby all about what I've learned that day. "Tara says she makes popcorn with lard and they watch old movies." And I smile at him and then, "Tara and her love have country dance nights," and "Tara says that feeding your body meat is feeding it order and clarity instead of chaos, isn't that a great way of putting it?" I can't help sharing all of it! So, here you are, a household staple!!

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Tara's avatar

ha! That made me laugh, Janene. I read that to my husband he said, "sounds right". :) haha

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

You’ve reminded me of an awakening I had when I was perhaps seven, or eight.

We were at the local library and there, the kids section was inside to the right, and the adult fiction and non fiction were all upstairs.

I’m sure it wasn’t new, but in the observation abilities of my age, I hadn’t before noticed a section just inside the Lucy that I had to have walked past hundreds of times to get to the kids’ section: Newly Released

I stopped dead in my tracks at that observation. There were new books coming out all the time. And surely these weren’t *all* of them. And here I’d had the goal to read every book in the library. But if this was just one library, and there were new books being published all the time... how could I ever read all the stories and all the information put down in all the books?!

I had to take a break from the library after that day. (Probably for some super lengthy time, like a whole week.) The vastness of information and stories in the world hit me so hard. As did the realization that even if I skipped school and soccer and read all day every day and lived to be 100 I couldn’t read even half of them...

But I couldn’t leave those written worlds alone for long and now I get the pleasure of walking and riding bikes to our local library with my own children.

This branch is smaller. Perhaps with the winters here keeping a gardener like me from the soil much more often, I’d have time to start again on working book by book, shelf by shelf... and if I skip the teen vampire section and the...

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Taryn's avatar

Oh yes, I had this revelation too! I can't remember when it occurred, I guess I didn't quite learn the lesson from it, I just got depressed. Thank you for sharing!!!

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

*just inside the lobby (not Lucy...)

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Tara's avatar

I love this image, Alli. Imagine young Alli's surprise when she realises the books go on forever?! I get that feeling. We will never it all, age brings pacing of our efforts, doesn't it?

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Josephine's avatar

I currently think my husband is sexiest when he's weed whacking 😆 i can't wait to see him milk a cow one day 😊

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Tara's avatar

Prepare yourself. It might be more than you can handle. 😉

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Julieanne's avatar

😆

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Amanda's avatar

Yes yes yes. I have learned soooo much since we moved to our 5 acres only 5.5 years ago! I have done so much and am proud of the way I can now provide for my family!

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Jess's avatar

Man, I really needed to here this. The comfort zone is no place to live but I find myself making all sorts of excuses to keep myself there. The thinking and dreaming and researching and planning comes at the expense of the DOING! And then the more you book learn the more you realize you don't know and then you think you need to know more to even start. It's a monkey mind feedback loop.

You are also bang on about the goal driven perfectionist culture. I find it sneaking into my thinking - like if there is no financial reward, or no recognition, or if I can't do it better than everyone else what is the point? But it's not truly me thinking that, not my true essence. Millennial culture? I don't know.

Thank you thank you for this timely post. It was the kick up the bum I needed to take radical ownership of my mindset and just. Start.

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Tara's avatar

Thank you for your honesty, Jess. You are most definitely not in the minority. Most people are just not able or willing to do such radical self reflection. So there, you are already ahead!

Yes, I think when we feel a bit overwhelmed, the best thing to do is close the books and the mind, and go find the tangible thing you can do. Something that requires the work of your body. I'm a true believer that confidence and courage comes from the moving of our bodies to reinforce the learning of our minds. Patterns built through expression of knowledge. ❤️

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Laura's avatar

Every essay you share with us is a therapy session I didn’t know I needed!

I appreciate your words about our how job is “not to control the whole damn narrative before we even start.” My need to know all the outcomes is holding me back from jumping in.

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Tara's avatar

Thank you, Laura. I'm glad to hear that there was some resonance in there with you 🙂

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Nat Hollywood's avatar

What I take from this is that a huge part of learning is in the exploring. Finding our own way. Knowledge isn’t learning. Knowledge isn’t thinking. Knowledge is part of it... but if this is all we seek then we won’t be learning much at all. What I learn from your sharing is that there is a chaos and order in life that guides. Sensations of the two. Experience. I learned to start at the beginning also. To buy from my local (almost) farmers and ask them questions. Thank you always. Nat x

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Tara's avatar

Wonderful, thank you, Nat :)

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Jennifer's avatar

Beautiful Tara. It's "one day or day one". I've always found the getting started difficult. Like some block in my brain. However, I know once I begin it's down the rabbit hole and so much learning happens. Especially things that may be at the fringe of that particular endeavor. You never know where you will end up but it's always a better place for having tried. I just love these thoughtful essays your putting out.

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Tara's avatar

well said, exactly so!

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Danae's avatar

Beautiful Tara, and such a relief. I remember my parents exasperation growing up (perhaps exhaustion? 😉) at my seemingly endless progression of interests. Still ongoing decades later, though perhaps a little more focused and all connected somehow.

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Julieanne's avatar

❤️🌞

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Neurotic Farmer's avatar

“We hold this idea that success comes when X happens, missing all of the opportunities and paths that show up along the way because we are so singularly focused on that one thing.” Sitting and thinking on this this morning, Tara. Resonating.

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Natalie's avatar

I really loved reading this. You are an incredible writer, Tara.

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Nov 22, 2021
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Tara's avatar

Kim I have literally read thousands of books and I don't even know what that book was. That was over thirty years ago. Sometimes, I could be reading a history book and find two paragraphs in the whole thing that may have pertained to a subject, let's say this part about whole flour, that stuck in my brain. I always say that if a an entire book gives me one useful subject that I can further learn about, it was a good book to read. If you're interested in some historical work around nutrition, my go to reference to send everyone to is "nutrition and physical degeneration" by Dr. Weston A Price. If you've read that one and are looking for other historical accounts of food, there are endless ones out there, including many studies, on this subject. Happy hunting!

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