![Cowshed Courthship,Nikolai Astrup, 1903](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_728,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fae2ec772-c440-4553-aaf6-b389901e2034_1588x1022.png)
Every couple has their own way of loving each other. Over time a language, unique to the bond that is ‘them’, forms. We learn to read each other’s mannerisms. We can find frustration in a tone and hurt in the shrinking of touch. As a woman, raised in the time of “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”, I grew up with many destructive narratives around women and relationships that can be drilled down into two main themes:
My worth was determined by my ability to keep up with men. Somehow, and this