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Esther's avatar

You know Tara. I haven’t digested or adapted this into my life completely. For instance I’ve followed cheese making recipes to the letter and consistently failed on the other side of the aging process (like 20 times) Ive now started to “deviate” from the recipe (ignoring time frames and heat levels, handling the curd more, deciding by feel if it’s ready etc) and I’ve had some cheese successes. However in my heart I still think I’m not doing it right because I’m not following the rules!

I have other examples I could list, more than I care to admit. Why don’t I just keep my head high and my chin up and believe I am a creator rather than a deviator? I think I know the answers to this but I’m going to chew on that today while I’m cleaning out the freezers. Thanks! 😉

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Tara's avatar

"A creator rather than a deviator." We need a t-shirt here, Esther. Yes, why? Why oh why oh why? Keep asking? We're such a dutiful, conditioned lot, by and large. I think in many ways that creates a wedge between us and ourselves. I have found that anything I'm regimented in feels like it's far away from me. Like I'm mimicking rather than really participating in a heartfelt way. Please keep me updated on your sovereign cheese making :)

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Esther's avatar

Just reread this. Still thinking about the T shirt.

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Madison Jacoby's avatar

This struck me this morning...I have always felt a resistance to somebody telling me "how things should be done" and rather than blaming it on my stubborn existence, I am leaning into your practice of curiosity. I love that you honor and respect others' experience and knowledge as their own, but you practice leaving room for your experience to also add to the collective knowledge...if that makes sense. Thank you for sharing this. I think so often people think they always have to "know"-- it can be so powerful to say "I don't know" as a launching point to learn and absorb in order to find your own knowing. Our society pressures us to be experts in whatever we talk about but, you're right, the truth is that we are all learning and growing and have our individual answers or truths. I hope I never think I have all the answers. I hope I never think my answers are "better" than another's, but rather just my own. Thank you for your words!

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Tara's avatar

This is so insightful, Madison. I've noticed that the more absolute certainty espoused by people, the more I respect an "I don't know". How wonderfully courageous to actually admit that we don't know something! How radically honest! Give me an "I don't know" over a "this is the only possible truth" any day!

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Katie Haxton's avatar

Beautifully said.

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Amy A.'s avatar

Fantastic article! As a therapist, I am constantly reminding my clients that they are the expert on themselves. Sovereignty, autonomy, and personal responsibility are paramount, and we can't serve the collective if we're not honoring what's True for ourselves first.

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Tara's avatar

Very wise and true, Amy.

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Karen's avatar

Tara, I appreciate your insights-love your writing so much!

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Tara's avatar

Thank you, Karen.

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Elodie's avatar

I love this . And we should ask ‘why’ with everything in our lives. Even our own selves . So much growth happens from questioning and then trusting our gut .

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Tara's avatar

Absolutely. It's the whole reason for being. Wonder and wonder and wonder. So much to learn.

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Jardon's avatar

This is was great! I am VERY interested in learning how to can fruit without sugar! lol

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Tara's avatar

:) Honey is your friend. My great maple sap experiment enters phase two tomorrow. I will report back on Saturday's post.

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Naomi Silva's avatar

Wow!!!! Just LOVE your post Tara!!!! SO true!!! You wrote that so beautifully!!!! Thank you for not following what others said just "because"... Now, you have so much knowledge to pass our way! Do you mind if I ask, "What do you feed your chickens?" Ours are eating basically just grass, dirt, insects, but soon winter is coming...what kind of food do you feed them in the winter time? Thank you for so generously imparting your knowledge.

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Tara's avatar

Thanks so much, Naomi. That's a good question for the next round of the Q&As. Although I sure wish I could tag on Substack because I'm pretty sure I've addressed that on a previous farming Q&As.

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Dr. Doomlittle's avatar

Dogmatism and lack of curiosity are plagues upon humanity.

There is also an unfortunate unwillingness to learn new methods, even when the evidence is right in front of you. I've been told so many of the things I'm doing would never work, yet here we are.

Don't listen to the nay-sayers, ESPECIALLY when they haven't even attempted what it is you're trying to do, yet somehow are so convinced it won't work. Don't be afraid to experiment and fail. It's how we learn.

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Tara's avatar

Perfectly said, Rachel. Failure is my middle name :)

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Robin Cerruti's avatar

I can't tell you how excited I get to see an email from Slowdown Farmstead. Sometimes I open right away and sometimes I wait with anticipation until I have time to sit and listen uninterrupted. Either way the experience is a special one!! Thanks Tara.

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Tara's avatar

Thank you for fluffing my feathers, Robin. That feels so nice. :)

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Janene's avatar

Bravo! And in today's world it takes guts to really go with what you feel. In the natural health world I know so many people who rely on "muscle testing" to make every decision in their lives. Should I have a drink of water? One drop? Two drops? I really like the idea that God gave us all brains and hearts to use and we should think things through and then, scary as it might be, commit! Exciting! And that kissing advertisement was golden. If only our ads today could be as hilarious!

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Tara's avatar

It was quite creative, wasn't it!? I liked it, too. I've met people who seemed to take muscle testing to the extremes, too. I don't need to muscle test my bedtime and if I should have half a peach or a whole one. Even that can be a wedge.

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PAULA TROXELL's avatar

Amen sister.

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Peter Fisher's avatar

Thank you. That was beautiful. I needed a parable like that this morning. Stories of your farming life and learning that can translate to exactly what I need to hear right now. Life is incredible! Have a wonderful day.

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Tara's avatar

Life is incredible! Thank you, Peter. :)

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Bonnie's avatar

Oh this one, Tara, gives alot to chew on. My father was not one to give answers or tell me how things were done. Instead he asked me questions, what happens if? That was one of the greatest gifts I ever received. He taught me to take from experience, the myriad of information and project outcomes. A skill that I don't see much in younger generations. We have access to all kinds of information that SHOULD lead to success but the truth lies in us. Knowing our own path, our own life choices and what is cherished in our souls. 🙏

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Tara's avatar

What a wonderful, brilliant father you had, Bonnie. Did that drive crazy sometimes when you were younger? What a gift that was to you.

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Bonnie's avatar

Ha ha! Yes a few times it did drive me crazy but he gave me a very important tool. Observe, analyze and project. He even let me try and fail and he let me know that failing wasn't bad but not trying was.

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Tara's avatar

What a gift - to see failure as part of learning rather than the ultimate doom!

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Louisa Enright's avatar

I so loved this post this morning. What’s going wrong is that way too many people are NOT working to find the answers for themselves—answers based out of research, thinking, experience, etc. It’s so good to have read what you write this morning.

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Tara's avatar

Thank you, Louisa. I agree - too much deferring to other people without enough sprinkling in of our own good judgment and intuition.

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Jenelle's avatar

I very much grew up asking why about most things and can recall even in university professors getting indignant that I dare to question them. Unfortunately I seemed to have lost some of my resistance to “the answers” but I am thankful I retained enough to question the nonsense of the past few years. When starting out on a new path it’s easy to feel unknowledgeable and naive but you have helped me to question the established way of doing things. Thanks as always!

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Tara's avatar

Yes, that's so true, Jenelle. It's especially challenging when it seems you have the momentum of social agreement and acceptance against you. I think the last few years have taught many of us some incredibly powerful lessons.

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TeeCee's avatar

I hear the same refrain (from so many in our circle) to so many aspects of nutrition, not only for ourselves but for all in our care. The nuance and effort needed is not an easy way to health of all. So many give up when what they tried didn't work, so just feed kibble etc drives me mad. There's no fortitude, stoicism, stubbornness even, to not give up. *sigh

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Tara's avatar

It seems we've become so used to immediacy that when we don't see what we want in short order, it's more appealing to abandon it for the next shiny thing. Just like the crows.

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