divergence: life/death

transcript

With many thanks to my digital fairy. I’m grateful for your time and thoughtfulness.

TARA: On the evening of May 10th, 2021, I had a dream that an

angel stood before me. Her outstretched arms were empty, and

her water-soaked wings dripped a puddle around her feet. Her

head was bowed. "I failed." That was her message."

"We were awoken by the police knocking on our door. Our

youngest daughter Mila, strong and true, had died..."

TARA: When I was younger, I was always afraid of

death. Because of things that happened in my childhood and

stuff, I had this unnatural sort of obsession with death -- in a

fearful way. I thought when my mom leaves, she's gonna

die. When this person goes, they're gonna die. They're gonna

die; I'm gonna be all alone. I'm gonna die before I'm 18. It

was always this idea like I'm never gonna be an adult.

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When I was I think 4 or 5, we moved to a corner of my

grandparent's farm in Manitoba. They farmed wheat, and those

are the most profound I have from being a child. I think I was

so interwoven with where we lived and just the sound of crickets

at night when I went to sleep and a gravel road underneath your

boots, that stillness, and you know, the prairie bird's

song. But then one day we came home, and my dad, he couldn't