Much love from Wisconsin. I recently retired. Disillusioned with the medical profession and questioning psychiatric standards of practice in these woke times. I now get to work side by side or nearby my husband. We are lifelong gardeners but new to livestock. We work with classical music and country music. We also kiss often and cringe to the kids when they visit. We always put the marriage first as taught in our church. After 32 years we are committed as ever. Just the two of us waiting for civil war or the apocalypse to happen.
Oh haha, Barbara I love this! Us, too! Us, too! Just two schmucks waiting for the grand finale while we make the days worth living. So glad you’re out there making the kids cringe. 😁😁❤️
Wonderful! I love how positively you have spoken about your younger self. It highlights today’s need to look at the past from a solely traumatic point of view. We often look at our younger self with such disdain and unproductive criticism that it shits on the building of the foundation of present self. Thanks for that reminder. Young Tracie will definitely be credited for all she’s done to get me here!
"That’s what the divergence has been for us - other things can wait, but we can’t." Over the past year, I made the decision that my 45-year marriage couldn't wait for my attention. With a determined focus that included sunrise, sunset, exercise, deep nutrition, engagement, and purposeful forgiveness, my husband and I are back in the mindset of our early years, the enjoyable "what's next?" phase of marriage. It's nice. Loved your piece.
What a beautiful place to be, Teresa! Tell me, what is it, do you suppose, about those things you have welcomed into your life, that have helped your marriage. I do believe I know, but it would be wonderful for other people to read about it, too. Maybe we should do a marriage discussion thread where we could all talk about the things that have been the most profound for us? There's so little real information on how to make a marriage work out there.
I'm totally up to a marriage discussion thread -- we've all developed a few tricks of the trade! About a year ago, I completely changed my diet by eliminating sugar and all highly processed foods -- I only eat beef, pork, chicken, seafood, and vegetables. In addition, I watch the sunrise, walk 5 miles, watch the sunset, and sleep a solid 7 to 8 hours every night. While walking I listen to hymns from my childhood which largely focus on gratitude and forgiveness. This make-over totally improved my physical, mental, and psychological health. I didn't ask or expect my husband to participate in any of this and he didn't! However, one day he joined me at sunrise, and hasn't missed a sunrise or sunset since. Now he eats the way I do too, except when he goes out with his buddies!! In any event, I let my actions speak louder than my words -- and it worked!
Words of wisdom. Admittedly, here I am...marriage #3. Wish I had these words the first time around. Wouldn't have married him had I been more wise. #2 was a good friend, just not a good partner. Learned a lot from #1 and #2.
And now, I feel like I am in rank with you and your man. Mr. Dave and I are a team. Better together. We plot and plan, work together, and when we divide and conquer it just allows us more time to sit and enjoy the sounds and views that nature provides for us. Intertwined into it all is respect, admiration, and quiet abiding love. Life is good. Took me 3 tries, but I've got to say- your wise words just reassure me we're doing it right.
I hear you both. At our house it’s a bit different. A garden but no livestock - just two dogs and lots of wild bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks, etc. In addition we try to support a bunch of musicians as we offer occasional two cents on arrangements or fill in if threatened on drums, voice. Trying to convince ourselves there’s a way to avoid war but it’s not looking that hopeful. It’s just this - our own moral culpability in allowing this serial abuse for ourselves or others - which stuns us. Even if we happen to be - like Thomas Jefferson & all - “gunmen”, our defence against this Corporatocracy dedicated to owning us & ours isn’t going to go quietly.
My question in this is always the same "and then what"? So, amidst the mayhem and the outside forces, how can we still live well today. There is a way, I think. Sometimes it gets the better of us and pulls us down. Sometimes we are blessed enough to tap into the grace and love around us. But I think it is always worth the effort. There are things in the human spirit that remain untouchable to even the corporatocracy. There are things I have no control over and things I do. I'm trying to do the best I can with the things I can take responsibility for.
You’re correct - that’s what we focus on in staying grounded each and every moment. We have a bunch of ancestors who were very active in helping to establish American Independence but even if we didn’t the sticking point for “freedom” for me personally is what exactly then am I doing? The Corporatocracy isn’t just out there - it has managed to insinuate itself into just about every part of our lives. It gets to the fundamentals of family, community, spirituality. I don’t see how to avoid it.
Wow, this was convicting and timely. We just hit 9 years, and have one little boy and I’m afraid the last two years of insanity while becoming brand new parents has threatened to tear us apart. But it’s what we allow and we often choose to divide and conquer or even divide and numb out in moments where we could connect. But deep down we are both longing to change that and are working to. I am desperate to have a relationship like you and Troy once our kids are gone(was NOT modeled for either of us), and this was such a good reminder that that doesn’t just happen, we have to start yesterday. Time is a thief and it’s taken too much from us already. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you, Krystal. I think most of us have been where you guys are now. I'm sending out a discussion thread post on Wednesday in hopes that some of the people that have had long marriages can share what they've learned - the myths and the things that actually work. I hope there's some useful tidbits that come to be. :)
I think about this all the time. 3 little kids under 4 and a new homestead up and coming…. We are constant. Up at 5:30 for chores, he’s off to build houses by 6:30, I come in at 7 after morning chores, kids up at 7:30. He comes home at 6.. dinner, bedtime, back outside to work for a few more hours in the alaskan summer sun. In bed at 10:30 while he does house bids and plans until we go to sleep.
I really needed to read this today. Thank you so much. We’ve already created this gap between us that’s growing. I used to fight the busyness and I have just realized I have adapted and made myself just as busy and “productive” as he is. Like I had to keep up. He’s not the type to slow down, never has been. But I can! And draw him in perhaps ❤️ It is difficult in this season, not trusting what the future holds, to let go of anything on the farm. But I’m sure I could figure a few things out.
Oh, this feels so familiar, Amanda. And that part about you keeping up with his productivity.. oof, yes. I feel that. Maybe you guys could have a heart to heart and talk about squirrelling away some sacred time. I don't know if you saw the comment above, but there's so many time when we, as women, can set the tempo and rhythm of our families in ways that men don't often do. I think men are brilliant at meeting their drive to provide and protect their families, but sometimes, if not balanced with our female energy, the nurture and softness can fade. We have beautiful strengths too, they're just different, but just as important. xo
Your words truly hit home in my heart today. Something I've been pondering as of late in the midst of raising our young brood. Seeing my fellow peers in a similar place in life and noticing how marriage holds up to raising children and life in general. Is it fate that separates the bond of marriage? Was the marriage a mistake to begin with? Some may put it all on fate but I think it's a deeper understanding of the decisions we make and owning up to those choices. You've written before on the sacred unity of marriage. It's just not something couples seem to make a priority or even think about anymore. Your setting an example with your marriage that is contagious for me. I hope it keeps spreading.
Thank you, Annie. I think you hit the nail on the head, that the decisions we make, the choices we make, are our's to take responsibility for and learn from them. If we don't take the responsibility, we just blame and that will never move us along in our understanding of ourselves which is crucial for evolving.
Thank you for this Tara. You are such an inspiration to me! I am in the thick of three kids 5 and under and it’s so hard to get any moments to myself or as a couple. We don’t have family near either and some days are so so hard. I love hearing how you got through it.
That's a lot, Mae. Be sweet and kind to yourself. Truly - sweet and kind. You are doing big things with little people that affects the whole wide world. You outta' be frazzled and tired sometimes xo
More lovely writing from you this morning. Such a nice way to start the day for me.
Thank you, Louisa.
Much love from Wisconsin. I recently retired. Disillusioned with the medical profession and questioning psychiatric standards of practice in these woke times. I now get to work side by side or nearby my husband. We are lifelong gardeners but new to livestock. We work with classical music and country music. We also kiss often and cringe to the kids when they visit. We always put the marriage first as taught in our church. After 32 years we are committed as ever. Just the two of us waiting for civil war or the apocalypse to happen.
Oh haha, Barbara I love this! Us, too! Us, too! Just two schmucks waiting for the grand finale while we make the days worth living. So glad you’re out there making the kids cringe. 😁😁❤️
Wonderful! I love how positively you have spoken about your younger self. It highlights today’s need to look at the past from a solely traumatic point of view. We often look at our younger self with such disdain and unproductive criticism that it shits on the building of the foundation of present self. Thanks for that reminder. Young Tracie will definitely be credited for all she’s done to get me here!
Yes! Hugs to Young Tracie! xo
"That’s what the divergence has been for us - other things can wait, but we can’t." Over the past year, I made the decision that my 45-year marriage couldn't wait for my attention. With a determined focus that included sunrise, sunset, exercise, deep nutrition, engagement, and purposeful forgiveness, my husband and I are back in the mindset of our early years, the enjoyable "what's next?" phase of marriage. It's nice. Loved your piece.
What a beautiful place to be, Teresa! Tell me, what is it, do you suppose, about those things you have welcomed into your life, that have helped your marriage. I do believe I know, but it would be wonderful for other people to read about it, too. Maybe we should do a marriage discussion thread where we could all talk about the things that have been the most profound for us? There's so little real information on how to make a marriage work out there.
I'm totally up to a marriage discussion thread -- we've all developed a few tricks of the trade! About a year ago, I completely changed my diet by eliminating sugar and all highly processed foods -- I only eat beef, pork, chicken, seafood, and vegetables. In addition, I watch the sunrise, walk 5 miles, watch the sunset, and sleep a solid 7 to 8 hours every night. While walking I listen to hymns from my childhood which largely focus on gratitude and forgiveness. This make-over totally improved my physical, mental, and psychological health. I didn't ask or expect my husband to participate in any of this and he didn't! However, one day he joined me at sunrise, and hasn't missed a sunrise or sunset since. Now he eats the way I do too, except when he goes out with his buddies!! In any event, I let my actions speak louder than my words -- and it worked!
Words of wisdom. Admittedly, here I am...marriage #3. Wish I had these words the first time around. Wouldn't have married him had I been more wise. #2 was a good friend, just not a good partner. Learned a lot from #1 and #2.
And now, I feel like I am in rank with you and your man. Mr. Dave and I are a team. Better together. We plot and plan, work together, and when we divide and conquer it just allows us more time to sit and enjoy the sounds and views that nature provides for us. Intertwined into it all is respect, admiration, and quiet abiding love. Life is good. Took me 3 tries, but I've got to say- your wise words just reassure me we're doing it right.
Much love as always! 💛
I'm so glad you have your Mr. Dave, Jeanie. We all have our own paths. Sounds like yours led you to the place you needed to be.
I hear you both. At our house it’s a bit different. A garden but no livestock - just two dogs and lots of wild bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks, etc. In addition we try to support a bunch of musicians as we offer occasional two cents on arrangements or fill in if threatened on drums, voice. Trying to convince ourselves there’s a way to avoid war but it’s not looking that hopeful. It’s just this - our own moral culpability in allowing this serial abuse for ourselves or others - which stuns us. Even if we happen to be - like Thomas Jefferson & all - “gunmen”, our defence against this Corporatocracy dedicated to owning us & ours isn’t going to go quietly.
My question in this is always the same "and then what"? So, amidst the mayhem and the outside forces, how can we still live well today. There is a way, I think. Sometimes it gets the better of us and pulls us down. Sometimes we are blessed enough to tap into the grace and love around us. But I think it is always worth the effort. There are things in the human spirit that remain untouchable to even the corporatocracy. There are things I have no control over and things I do. I'm trying to do the best I can with the things I can take responsibility for.
You’re correct - that’s what we focus on in staying grounded each and every moment. We have a bunch of ancestors who were very active in helping to establish American Independence but even if we didn’t the sticking point for “freedom” for me personally is what exactly then am I doing? The Corporatocracy isn’t just out there - it has managed to insinuate itself into just about every part of our lives. It gets to the fundamentals of family, community, spirituality. I don’t see how to avoid it.
Wow, this was convicting and timely. We just hit 9 years, and have one little boy and I’m afraid the last two years of insanity while becoming brand new parents has threatened to tear us apart. But it’s what we allow and we often choose to divide and conquer or even divide and numb out in moments where we could connect. But deep down we are both longing to change that and are working to. I am desperate to have a relationship like you and Troy once our kids are gone(was NOT modeled for either of us), and this was such a good reminder that that doesn’t just happen, we have to start yesterday. Time is a thief and it’s taken too much from us already. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you, Krystal. I think most of us have been where you guys are now. I'm sending out a discussion thread post on Wednesday in hopes that some of the people that have had long marriages can share what they've learned - the myths and the things that actually work. I hope there's some useful tidbits that come to be. :)
I think about this all the time. 3 little kids under 4 and a new homestead up and coming…. We are constant. Up at 5:30 for chores, he’s off to build houses by 6:30, I come in at 7 after morning chores, kids up at 7:30. He comes home at 6.. dinner, bedtime, back outside to work for a few more hours in the alaskan summer sun. In bed at 10:30 while he does house bids and plans until we go to sleep.
I really needed to read this today. Thank you so much. We’ve already created this gap between us that’s growing. I used to fight the busyness and I have just realized I have adapted and made myself just as busy and “productive” as he is. Like I had to keep up. He’s not the type to slow down, never has been. But I can! And draw him in perhaps ❤️ It is difficult in this season, not trusting what the future holds, to let go of anything on the farm. But I’m sure I could figure a few things out.
Oh, this feels so familiar, Amanda. And that part about you keeping up with his productivity.. oof, yes. I feel that. Maybe you guys could have a heart to heart and talk about squirrelling away some sacred time. I don't know if you saw the comment above, but there's so many time when we, as women, can set the tempo and rhythm of our families in ways that men don't often do. I think men are brilliant at meeting their drive to provide and protect their families, but sometimes, if not balanced with our female energy, the nurture and softness can fade. We have beautiful strengths too, they're just different, but just as important. xo
Very well put. I agree 100%. And really good point about women setting the tempo of the home. I hadn’t thought much about that. Thank you
Thank you for the beautiful photos and words.
Thank you, Paula.
Your words truly hit home in my heart today. Something I've been pondering as of late in the midst of raising our young brood. Seeing my fellow peers in a similar place in life and noticing how marriage holds up to raising children and life in general. Is it fate that separates the bond of marriage? Was the marriage a mistake to begin with? Some may put it all on fate but I think it's a deeper understanding of the decisions we make and owning up to those choices. You've written before on the sacred unity of marriage. It's just not something couples seem to make a priority or even think about anymore. Your setting an example with your marriage that is contagious for me. I hope it keeps spreading.
Thank you, Annie. I think you hit the nail on the head, that the decisions we make, the choices we make, are our's to take responsibility for and learn from them. If we don't take the responsibility, we just blame and that will never move us along in our understanding of ourselves which is crucial for evolving.
Thank you for this Tara. You are such an inspiration to me! I am in the thick of three kids 5 and under and it’s so hard to get any moments to myself or as a couple. We don’t have family near either and some days are so so hard. I love hearing how you got through it.
That's a lot, Mae. Be sweet and kind to yourself. Truly - sweet and kind. You are doing big things with little people that affects the whole wide world. You outta' be frazzled and tired sometimes xo
You have the ability to bring me back to the moment and re-evaluate my life. Thankyou. What a gift to be able to read your words ✨💌
Thank you, Danielle.