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Alli Bockmon's avatar

I have a giant old dictionary. It rests open and inviting on a shelf on the bookshelf it holds all on its own. Many days my children ask what a word means. Some times I offer my understanding. More often these days, as they’re reaching the ages to look up words themselves soon, I’ll use this old dictionary in front of them so that they will be ready to do so themselves.

Yesterday, my son (he’s 5) asked what “inspire” meant. I went to the dictionary and talked my way through how I was finding out. And then, I started reading.

Each definition of “inspire” had to do with air. Breathing and billowing and respiration. I felt joy beam through me. We were looking for one lesson and found another. One of my favorite parts of walking along side my kids as they learn and grow and question.

So we dove into a conversation about the changing of words’ uses throughout time and also talked about the more common modern use of “inspire” for his original curiosity.

I am still working to shrug off and lay down the conditioning that keeps me quiet at times, or dilutes my salt depending on my audience. Nuance does not come naturally to me but I do love to dwell in possibility and I know it is deeply possible to find comfort in my own grey, which calls me.

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Tara's avatar

I love the image you paint of you discovering a new way of considering something with your kids. What blessed little ones to have such a mama.

I think we're always learning how to shrug off our conditioning, in so many ways. I see it constantly in myself. I'm like a bloodhound now, maybe getting older has given me that, I can sniff out what's mine and what never was a little quicker than I used to. Seems to me it's just a muscle we need to use to grow.

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Alli Bockmon's avatar

“A muscle we need to use to grow” - precisely. 💚

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Maura's avatar

“Conformity in any situation, to any issue that you don’t hold to be a genuine truth, is a betrayal of one’s own heart which is, ultimately, a betrayal of why you are here at all. “

This sentence speaks volumes to me. I adore reading your emails, every time I read them I feel as though I am reading so many of my own thoughts written out in front of me, thank you.

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Taryn's avatar

Which is great because I am nowhere near this eloquent!!!

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Taryn's avatar

Yes, me too❣

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Tara's avatar

thank you, Maura❤️

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Michelle's avatar

Loved this blog post so much. I value your common sense and am so thankful there are people out there who are grounded, steadfast and true to their convictions.

“I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?” Dave Chappell

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Tara's avatar

thank you and I love that quote :)

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Erin's avatar

The hallmark of courage in our age of conformity is the capacity to stand on one's own convictions--not obstinately or defiantly (these are gestures of defensiveness, not courage) nor as a gesture of retaliation, but simply because these are what one believes.

- Rollo May

I am so thankful you started writing consistently on this blog. Every post fills me with so much strength to stay rooted in my convictions and to stay true to who I am. I can relate so deeply to each post that you write. You are so courageous Tara! Thank you for being you and for being brave enough to share it with the world.

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Tara's avatar

That quote really says it all. Thank you for sharing it.

Thank you, also, for the kind comment. It is so meaningful for me to read that something I may share makes others feel a little buoyed in their convictions. I wish we could all be together, physically, sharing space and tears and hugs. That energy is offered up, it just has to find its way through words on a screen. It's good to know it lands sometimes.

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Tania's avatar

YES!!! Thank you for this salty goodness, Tara - I will come back to this one again and again! Will definitely be making use of the book reading/feelings analogy - spot on!

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Taryn's avatar

It's a goodie for sure!

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Tara's avatar

ha! ok, good! thank you for your kind words, Tania :)

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Heather's avatar

Yes, yes, all of this. We are not meant to be cookie cutter replicas of one another and what a boring, compliant life that would be. My young children often point out some of my “incorrect” word choices and I remind them that they know my heart, which supersedes any unpolished and unfiltered mannerisms. Who gets to decide what is “right” or acceptable anyway?! And yes, you are not responsible for making me feel any which way and, what a relief that the same is true in reverse. I love your wisdom as always, Tara.

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Tara's avatar

haha, yes! Love your comment, Heather.

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Saralyn's avatar

When I read your essays I'm struck by your conviction and constant decision to show up and be the "you" that you were called and created to be. It's as if your words are making room for anyone else to muster the courage to do/be the same. Not try to be like "you" but to courageously show up and be the "me" that I was called and created to be. In this way we are together although we will probably never meet. I'll be over here making room for anyone that encounters me to be their own most authentic honest self, with love, and honoring those creations I find myself in community with.

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Tara's avatar

What a beautiful thing to share with me. Thank you, Saralyn. This is exactly what I want to do - to be fully me and meet you, the fully realized Saralyn in all of her muddled glory, to show up too. It does take courage to occupy who we were put her to be. I'm so moved to hear that sharing a bit of that here has resonated with you. Thank you.❤️

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Janene's avatar

This has me thinking about all the "salty" - really great people, mostly older, sometimes relatives that have that oh so rare commodity these days - wisdom. It's hard earned from life - something you can learn, but maybe can't be taught. I appreciate you reminding me of this. Thank you. It reminds me of the wonderful mother and father in, Yellow on the Broom, by Betsy Whyte, about Traveller people in Scotland in the early 30's. Wonderful Book. The are a little "earthy" for today's world, but completely wonderful in every way. We should all be so lucky.

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Tara's avatar

I might have to check that book out. Yes, I think this push to have everyone indoctrinated in a way of right-speak has a lot to do with our dismissal of our elderly. We've lost mentors and the wisdom and experience of these people at a time when it's so desperately needed. I think we need to train our ears to the goodness. It's also such a horrible thing to do to our old-timers (I like that word, I want to be called that one day). We relegate them to the dustbin of life, of no worth, waiting to die. Us of the civilized culture, fighting for whatever glorified cause du jour while people all around us fade away, isolated and alone.

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Janene's avatar

I'm reading the sequel (Red Rowans and Wild Honey) to my hubby at night. It's sooooo good!!

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Lulu's avatar

I love this Tara! I wish you lived nearby, I would invite you over for a cup of tea ❤️

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Tara's avatar

and I would graciously accept ❤️

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Taryn's avatar

Just don't tell me I belong in a gulag and we'll get along fine🤣😭

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Tara's avatar

well, I did see a gulag with your name on it...

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Taryn's avatar

Ha! Well I guess you and Troy can keep me company 😉

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Jennifer's avatar

Thank you Tara! 🌟🌟🌟

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Neurotic Farmer's avatar

Fucking NAILED IT, Tara. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

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Tara's avatar

thanks 🙂💕

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Kate's avatar

I love this. Thank you again, Tara for sharing your heart with us!

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Tara's avatar

Thank you, Kate.💕

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Shirley Whitaker's avatar

Right on! Words of wisdom and worthy salt!

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mrmr's avatar

Beautiful writing. Thank you!

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Sarah's avatar

Thank you! I love reading your writings so much! I appreciate your integrity and beautiful grit. Truth, love and integrity is all there is for me. I’m always asking why! I was adopted at birth and grew up with strong intuition and gentle kindness in my heart. Ive never needed a crowd. I have a lot of beautiful characters in my life too whom I am grateful for and my teenage sons are comfortable and kind to all people. People have always commented on their kind, funny and mature interactions with our boys. It is a struggle raising them in this mad culture when I feel so strongly that the world has gotten it all wrong. Everything feels so exhaustingly wrong on all levels yet my kids go to school everyday coming home with these very questionable “truths/ideas.” That is where I feel the most tension in my life.

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Tara's avatar

I like your sons and I don't even know them and I love the way you so kindly describe yourself. That's really something, to have that awareness around yourself. I know people in their 70s and 80s who can't even do that.

That is a tension. Even back when our kids were young, in their teen years, I felt that tension and that was before the weird messaging of today. I was the odd parent feeding them the odd food and doing things differently. We were teaching them values different from the ones upheld at school. We contradicted the messaging they were receiving.

If it's any solace at all, I will offer that the young adults our girls grew into are critical thinkers. They have a peace and security in themselves that is unshakable by the whims of society. I like seeing that. It's not so common anymore.

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